26 February 2009

The good and the bad

I'll actually start with the bad because then I'll end on a good note and will feel better.

The bad: We moved Ryan to 2 days/week of daycare back in August for 2 reasons: 1. so he could be at home with Brayden and I and 2. to cut back on daycare expense. It was a pretty easy transition. Then Tim started the 5am -2pm shift at work and mommy had to do the drop-offs every Tues/Thurs. Surprisingly great. Ryan didn't pitch fits or give me guilt trips. Rather he would tell me to leave almost as soon as we got there.

Over the last month he's been getting a little shaky. Starting with "I don't want to go to school today" then "mommy can I come to work with you" and now "I want to go home". I was attributing some of this hesitation to the fact that they changed classes so he's got one new teacher, a new room and about 4 or 5 new classmates...that's a lot of change for a little person to handle. Then this morning it hit...he was in all out fit mode as I tried to leave. Those big blue eyes swelled with tears and he starting crying, holding on to me, asking me not to leave. The teacher had to come take him away from me and he just got louder. This reminded me of the first day we dropped him off and he stood at the classroom door banging on it crying. I probably cried more than he did that day.

So my day is starting out crappy. I feel horrible now, it's only 8:30 and I have a splitting headache. I don't know what I'm going to do when we put Brayden in daycare in May 2days/week...he's more attached to me than Ryan ever was. I'm going to need to take a mental day.

The good: I had a great bike Sunday, starting to get longer rides in on the weekends. Monday was a solid 4.5 mile run followed by a great swim on Tuesday and a interval session on the TM yesterday. All I've really got to do now is get my long runs in on Saturdays and make sure to get that second swim in during the week. I was feeling a little down about White Lake 1/2 at the beginning of May, feeling like I might not be ready by then. But I've discovered the art of minimal training for acceptable outcome. It really is more about enjoying what I'm doing rather than competing at this point. But I guess I've always had the attitude that I'm competing with myself rather than the other racers. So I'm feeling good physically and better mentally. I'm ready for the great feeling which I know is just around the corner.


Rebecca DeWire said...

I almost started crying reading your post. Poor Ryan and poor you! That must have been really difficult this morning.

N.D. said...

awwww... I am dreading that moment where i have to drop him off at daycare. Great job on the bike, that is a positive to focus on !

Michelle Simmons said...

Wow I can't imagine how hard that would be when your kid cries going to day care. Can he express what he doesn't like about it? The change in attitude would make me wonder about the change in his day and whether it's just that he has a new teacher or if there's something about a new kid that actually scares him?
I've also got a 1/2 coming up... mine at the end of May. Although I'd rather just do it next weekend because I feel like I'm as ready as I'll ever be! Crazy to be ready to race already. Watch I'll be 100% burnt out by May.

Angela and David said...

I am so dreading the day Zach starts to cry when I leave. Hopefully next day care day isn't a repeat performance.

I'm so jealous you've got a half in May. It feels like it's going to be winter here forever and I'm jsut going to be training and training forever with no end in sight.

Angela said...

He's able to communicate about things he likes and doesn't like...but he's not at the point of "telling on people". I've asked about teachers and classmates and he doesn't say one way or the other. The teachers always say he has good days after he's there. Maybe he's playing me?