08 March 2010

Quick update

We've been extremely swamped around here. Last week we found ourselves having to say good-bye to Tim's grandfather Sam. Thankfully, it was a quick, painless passing for a man that served his country and family very well. All in all, everyone seems to be handling it well, not that it is ever easy. I was on edge all week wondering if Ryan was going to ask about grand-daddy Sam and what I would say so not to turn it into something sad for him. But surprisingly, the only comments my observant 3.5 year old had were at the church service. He heard everyone praying and didn't know the prayer they were saying so he started saying his bedtime prayer. Every time we would pray, he would pray. It was precious in a way he will never understand. Then he asked me about the stain glass picture of Jesus feeding some doves. When he found out that was "baby Jesus" he asked "is this baby Jesus house mommy?" yes it is. " I like his house, it's pretty." I wish I was 3.5 years old again.

On top of a heavy emotional week, training was bumped up for the last two weeks at 13 and 15 hrs. Might not seem like a lot to some of you, but for me, prior to working with Marty, a heavy week for me was 8 hours...so it's physically been a lot. No sleep, emotional turmoil and that much training took it's toll.

Saturday we found ourselves watching daddy at the Umstead trail marathon and trying to nurse him back from a disappointing DNF. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to drop out of a race in 4th place because your body isn't willing to continue, even with proper training. I think everything had taken it's toll on Tim for sure. As a side note, this is one of my greatest fears come September...that despite all the training and nutrition, my body just won't let me finish...somebody better but roller skates on my butt, because if it comes down to that, I'm going to scoot across the finish line.

Then yesterday found Brayden with his 5th case of the croup, 4th since last August. Normally we can't see a difference in his behavior but it's been different this time. He's all out of sorts.

I've found that when these things happen to me, I can "handle it" in my own way. I can reason and get ticked and make changes. I can make it go away and I can dictate how I respond and cope. But when it's someone you love so dearly and all you can do is be there and be willing to listen, it's hard. It's the hardest thing for me to watch Tim or the boys struggle with something, whether it be physical or emotional and not be able to take the pain away. Like I said earlier, I just wish I was 3.5 years old again.


Angela and David said...

I'm sorry about your family's loss. Sounds like you and your guys have had a rough week. Hope this week is a little better.

N.D. said...

It would be nice to be 3 1/2 again. What a cutie. I'm sorry about your loss and hope that you get through the hard weeks of training. :) You're an inspiration!

Rebecca DeWire said...

I am really sorry to hear about Tim's grandfather. No matter how peaceful or expected the event is, it is always very very sad and hard for the entire family.

I am with you that 8 hrs is a lot. You have done a ton of training in my opinion, especially considering all you have going on!!! I have never trained 15 hrs/wk and for both IMs that I did, the most I did leading up to the race was 12 hrs.

I also wanted to tell you that when I first opened up your blog and saw your turtle ticker, I thought you were pregnant. Then I realized it was for your race :)

Angela said...

no baby number three yet...I'm still trying to convince Tim that we should try after the race in September. We'll see how that goes.