Mish Mash

Tim and I have been going to a TON of holiday gatherings over the last week. First it was our neighborhood, which was great. I finally got to meet everyone that Tim met months ago at the Friday night parties. All in all, it seems like a really great group of people in our neighborhood. We got lucky this time, our last neighborhood was just filled with old, non social and rude, creepy people; not to mention no kids for the boys to play with. It is the exact opposite on all accounts now. YEAH for Crocketts Ridge!!

Then we hosted poker night this week, not really a holiday party but it's rare for us to host and Tim loves to host. He's now got a dedicated room, table, tv and a house big enough to accommodate.

Last night was the FS Series party. They are a local event production company that put on most of the races Tim and I compete in. It was really nice to get out and be social. Speaking for myself, I was proud of me for actually talking to people. Granted I stayed in the same corner and they had to come to my table, they were mostly coming to talk to others at my table but hey, I still joined in the conversations. Usually I'm a stick in the mud and only talk to Tim and one or two other people. We actually won a door prize, comp entry into a duathlon in January. We never win things...maybe our luck is changing...first the new neighborhood now a door prize. What is going on here.

As we were at the party last night, I noticed a woman that I had seen at so many races over the last two years, as a spectator for her husband. I thought she had a familiar face, but I couldn't place her. Last night I noticed that she was pregnant, due January 7th, if I remember correctly. Apparently her and her husband read the blog, so hello to you Dan and Natalie and congratulations on your first child. On the way home, Tim enlightened me that we used to play flag football against Natalie, no wonder I had the familiar feeling. Tim said he felt like crap because anyone that knows him from flag football most definitely does not have a good opinion of him. So for anyone that fits that category, I can honestly tell you that my husband is not that man any more.

Last random thought. I just wanted to clarify that Brayden is not trying to potty train himself yet. He's just trying to imitate Ryan. Which I suppose is better than nothing. But realistically he's just playing right now. I hope he's not as hard to potty train as Ryan simply because he can watch Ryan but let's be honest, little boys just don't train that easily. Seriously, we've been working with Ryan for almost a year and we're still having to play up pooping in the toilet because he'd be fine with sitting in his own filth if left up to him to decide. Maybe 4 is a magic age, temper tantrums and pooping go away...maybe???

It's official

As of yesterday, I am signed up for my first IM. I'm going to do the Chesapeake IM in Maryland on September 25th. A few things led to the decision to pick this race: 1) It was "early" in the season and not in November, 2) It's flat and most importantly 3) the coin landed on heads and tails would have gotten me into the Redman IM in Oklahoma. I'm excited and ready.

In other news, this is my second week at home with the boys and it's been great so far. I can't say that it's been full of "fun" yet as it seems that it's taking me a long time to just get general up-keep of the house caught up. Believe it or not, we've haven't unpacked everything from the move back in July. But the most exciting thing...is my first Christmas present. I've already gotten them from my parents. I wanted built in book shelves for around our fireplace to fill the void and viola...what do you think? Unfortunately I didn't take before pictures...but they are awesome!
Other than that, our first few weeks have been crazy. We've made a gingerbread house. See the nice little smiley face Ryan made on the roof?




















We're also seeing how Brayden wants to be just like his big brother...he's already trying to go pee on the potty and he's pulling his pants down and up by himself...he can't quite get them back up. I missed my boys.

Two days left

Until I'm at home with the boys full time. Granted, I will be working 15-20 hours a week, from home. But the boys will not be in day care or staying with dad at all from now on. I'm pretty sure dad is ready to really enjoy his retirement now as he said "I'm just thinking of when I can go fishing." when I told him of my plan to stay at home with the boys. He'll probably still even come and take one of them away every now and then. I'm sure that will be good for everyone involved.

This won't be that much different from before when I was working part-time. The only difference is that now I don't have to go in to the office at all. Back to getting up when Tim leaves in the morning to get a few hours of work in before the fun with the boys starts. I'm excited. I've missed my boys tremendously the past few months.

I've become one of them :(

When I was younger, the best time of year started in October. The excitement of Halloween, then the buzz of Thanksgiving and best of all, the family and smell of Christmas. Each one getting their due respect and time in the stores, in our minds and in our hearts. Each one had their own day, not over shadowed by the next but enjoyed thoroughly before the next one began to gear up.

It's much different now. They have Christmas decorations out before Halloween costumes hit the shelves these days. It's like "the man" doesn't want us to enjoy Halloween and Thanksgiving. Or maybe they think that the extra time in the store with Christmas stuff will mean more money for them because kids have more time to look. I don't know. But I despise it! I want them each, separately and completely.

But this year was different. I found myself last week getting Christmas decorations out. I've already put up things in the house, hung the wreath and garland, and figurines. The only thing we're missing are the tree, lights outside and the stockings. Part of me felt obligated to dress the house up for Thanksgiving since everyone is coming over to our house this year, but part of me just wanted the boys to be able to enjoy it all before we leave for Christmas.

We are going to Gonzales Louisiana for Christmas to spend time with Tim's dad's family. It's actually the first time I'm going to get to meet most of them. Only two of his uncles were able to make it to the wedding and since then there's just been one reason or another that we haven't gotten down there. But I'm excited. I'm excited for myself about meeting more family, I'm excited for Tim to get to see family that he hasn't seen in such a long time, but I'm most excited that the boys will be able to meet their aunts, uncles, cousins and great grandma Gautreau.

Now, if the next 5 weeks would pass quickly we can get the 15 hour car ride out of the way and have some fun.

My time off

1. From sport has been great for the past 2 weeks. The first week after B2B 1/2 IM, I did absolutely nothing except eat. I started running again this week but otherwise, I'm enjoying the rest and family time.

2. From work is about to get more abundant....in that I have quit my job. Completely quit. December 4th is officially my last day and as of Monday December 7th, I will be at home full time with the boys. I'm excited. Many things led to this decision, but ultimately it came down to the boys and what's best for them.

3. From blogging has been a direct result of being torn in too many directions over the last month with training, racing, family, work, and rest. So now, I need the cliff notes for every one's blogs. Wow I missed a ton.

4. Is getting me excited about the reality of planning for my first IM race next season and working with Marty and/or Bri!

5. May turn into well needed time as we may get busier than we anticipated this holiday season...more to come, maybe??

Beach 2 Battleship Half: Race Report

What a day. Since they put the full and the half on at the same time, at the same venue, half participants are treated like full participants; in that we have to be there at 5 or 5:30 even though we don't get to start our race till 8:30 or later. So that part sucked. The only complaint other than that was that it was a logistical nightmare by any one's standards. There were two separate transition areas about 8-10 miles apart...I'll let you think about that. But I loved the feel of this race. The volunteers, staff, participants, spectators, just great. Fantastic.

So my swim start was 8:45. I have to say that I don't like salt water, never have and after this, never will. Other than the current (so strong) and the buoyancy, I swallowed so much of it and that combined with the chop made me nauseous the entire swim. But the cool thing was my swim time and the swimsuit strippers. Ha, never had that before, seen it, but never had it. They are GOOD.

T1 was about a 1/4 mile from where we exit the water, running over asphalt and before we left we had to put all our swim stuff into a bag for race staff to pick up later and transport to the finish line. Note, we had a "pre-race swim bag" that had whatever we took to the swim start (not by T1, about a 3 minute trolley ride down the sound) which also had to be taken to the finish. Anyhow. Bike was good. I had to wear soccer socks and arm warmers and my toes were numb upon getting off the bike in T2 but it was a good effort for me. I found myself passing more people than normal and only getting passed by a few. I felt strong in the legs the entire ride and aside from my neck being stiff and a little saddle sore.

Tangent: to all you bike snotrockett blowers out there...before you blow your next snotrockett make sure you have not just passed someone. Um twice on this ride, I got snot in my face. Yuk!

T2 found me handing my bike off to someone to rack...again a first for me and I liked it! Much faster than T1 but I forgot the sunscreen, a big Uh Oh...meaning number 11 I suppose. I felt good starting the run, more so than normal. I had my bike adjusted a short time back and it seems to have paid off. No walking on this run, not this time. My goal time was 5:30 and I knew that I couldn't walk if I wanted to meet that time, especially since my bike was slightly slower than I had wanted. I made it through 7 miles feeling well and then I started slowing down with every step. Finally as I cross the line. I didn't look at the time because I was scared. I was doubled over and some volunteer kept asking me if I was ok or needed medical attention. Uh, no...I just can't walk at the moment. When Tim got to the finish, he told me I was right at 5:45. Missed the goal but improved by about 33 minutes from the half I did in May. So I'm happy. 5:30 or under will come soon.

UH OH...

This statement has so many meanings when coming from a child:

1. I dropped my spoon (fork, cup, etc.)
2. I flushed some small toy down the toilet
3. I broke something and now it doesn't work
4. I hit my brother and now he's crying and I'm going to get in trouble
5. I went poop or pee in my pants
6. I can't find mommie or daddy
7. I've smashed all the peas flat on the table and can't pick them up
8. I threw my peas and hit the dog
9. My shoe came off

But the most recent and my least favorite.....

10. When followed by violent coughing "Ugghhh", it means I just threw up 3 meals, 8 cups of milk/juice and the tire of the toy car that I bit off before I dropped it in said toilet of #2 mentioned above.

I've heard "uh oh" from Brayden too much this weekend and mostly with the #10 meaning. Pour little guy got so used to vomiting that it didn't scare him anymore; he just simply (with no emotion) said "Uh oh".

MIA

I honestly don't know where the past two weeks have gone, only that I've been really busy, really tired, dealing with a virus making it's way around the family for the second time in the past 2 months and did I mention tired?

So this, the weekend before our last tri of the season, Tim and I took a long weekend and brought the kids to Asheville. I'm getting to meet some of Tim's friends from college for the first time and we get to see the leaves changing in the mountains! Tomorrow is a first for me, a trip to Biltmore Estate. I'm excited. But today was a great family day...our first time going trick or treating with Ryan (and Brayden). Ryan has not gone before, for one reason or another, but tonight we met some of Tim's college friends with their son and another couple and went trick or treating. In the rain and cold, but by golly we did it. Ryan screaming to be picked up and wanting to "go home" the entire time, but we did it. Brayden throwing up in the car on the way home from too much sugar and still a little virus, but we did it.

Now I'm going to do something else, go to bed. Did I tell you that I'm tired? Got to get plenty of rest for B2B next weekend. I'll try to post some pictures of the boys soon.

Little helpers.

Ryan absolutely loves to cook. So earlier this week when I asked him what he wanted mommy to make, he said "pumpkin pie, it's my favorite." Uh, mommy doesn't have the stuff for pumpkin pie right now, but I'll get some for tomorrow, what else do you want. "Pancakes." That's the default answer.

So I got stuff for pumpkin pie. Here's the best shot we got.Ryan of course missed the bowl a few times when pouring ingredients in (as he just likes to wildly flip the measuring cup in the air without aiming) and Brayden didn't get the concept of stirring means leaving the spoon in the bowl...so a lot of the mix was all over the counter.

They both enjoyed fresh pumpkin pie after it cooked though.

Up or down?

I've always heard women complain about their significant others or brothers or sons (what have you) leaving the toilet seat up. I can honestly say that I don't even need 1 hand to count the number of times it's been an issue since Tim and I have been together. Maybe once or twice in the middle of the night or something.

So I swore that I would teach the boys to put the toilet seat back down after peeing. And they both do. I say both even though Brayden isn't potty training, he still sits on the little training toilet on occasion and then puts the lid down when he sees Ryan do it. And Ryan, never misses a time. There's been instances where I'm trying to rush to get him to bed or get him dressed for school and he'll tell me "Mommy, wait...I have to put the top down slllloooowwwwllly, like this." As he inches the top down for 30 seconds so not to slam it down. I'm quite proud actually.

So if I don't have an issue with a 31 year old man, a 3 year old and a 17 month old, what's up with the ladies at work? Seriously, have you ever known a woman to put the toilet seat up after she's done using the restroom??? Well we have one at work. And until a few days ago, nobody knew who it was. We would all come out and say "are we sure the guys aren't going into our restroom." Is there a transgender female working here (my apologies if that offends anyone). But we just couldn't figure out why a woman would do it.

I mean most women are so picky about cleanliness in the bathroom that they use the toilet covers and use their feet to flush the dang toilet; so why would you touch the seat??? I don't get it. But last week I walked in the bathroom to find the stalls were full. The first one out, the new old lady (mid 60s), 5ft2 and frail looking...and what did I see, the toilet seat up. I found myself wanting to ask her why she does it. But I just thought it was inappropriate and ridiculous to even care about it. I don't know why it bothers me, but every time I see the seat up I think somebody with a penis has been in our restroom.

Just put it down...slllloooowwwlllyy.

What a weekend

It was one for the books I tell you. We were everywhere. It all started Thursday when I "worked from home" since they boys daycare was closed for a teacher work day. Let me tell you that not much work got done. Brayden left that night to go with his Nina and Papa to the beach (by himself) while Ryan got some mommy and daddy time.

Friday was traveling to Nashville (NC) and back to drop dogs off, picking up cars at the airport, packing for Pinehurst and socializing with neighbors...well at least Tim did. I headed to bed to try and get some sleep.

Saturday morning bright and early, time to head to Pinehurst for my Oly distance. Well it was more than that...seeing as how both the swim and the bike were longer than usual. The swim, not purposely (I hope) was about 2-3 minutes slow from what I can tell so whatever that translates into meter wise I don't really know. The bike, they extended to 30 miles, I'm guessing to get their own evil pleasure out of watching everyone suffer on what was already a hilly 25 mile course. The new 30 mile course was even hillier if you ask me. But I'm a hill wuss, so you probably shouldn't. And then there was the run. They reversed the course from years past, which seemed more difficult. If not for the extended bike, then due to the fact that there seemed to be more up hills in reverse if that's possible.

All in all, I'm very pleased with my effort on Saturday. It was painful, slow, painfully slow, but a good effort for me. I pushed as hard as I could on the bike through all the hills and then it took entirely too long to get my run legs. I think it was right at mile 3, maybe slightly before, that I started feeling ok. But those darn hills made me feel like a 75 year old decrepit woman, hunched over, swinging my arms violently from side to side at my waist line, just trying to get up the stinking things. I can say I didn't walk any on the run, because I was trying to get under 3 hours but I looked like I was walking I'm sure. Little did I know that the swim was long so my time was already blown. Oh well. Tim and Ryan were there to yell at me and I got to see Bri and Marty before the race. (Hopefully they'll be coaching me next year!) It was a nice day. Although I'm going on record to say that I will not race this course again, not even if they take the bike back down to 25 miles. It's just to hilly for me. Lovely ride and run, just too dang hilly. My efforts managed me 12/27 in my age group and about 72/196 overall women. Probably one of my better results in this series. It's more competitive than the other series we race.

The worst thing I saw was some guy passed out about 1/4 to .3 mile from the finish line. Pale face and lips, slightly shaking, out cold. EMT was just getting to him as I approached. I wanted so badly to ask them if I could just carry the guy the remaining 1/4 mile. That sucks to do all that work and then lose it that close to the finish.

We left directly from there to go to Topsail Island to see Nina and Papa and to rescue Brayden and cousin Madison (according to Ryan). It was almost 5 before we got there. Enough time to eat some food, take a shower and go to bed while everyone else watched football. Sunday brought a little more laziness, running in the waves and a 4 hour car ride home.

Now just under 4 weeks until B2B half. Crap I'm tired. I'm so jealous of everyone that's done and just enjoying being active for the sake of being active. I want to be lazy and eat peanut butter and marshmallow puff sandwiches while watching LMN all day in my pj's.

Two to Go

That's right, still two more races till my season ends and my mini vacation from sport begins. I've got Pinehurst Olympic distance this weekend. After which, Tim and I are driving to the beach to spend the remainder of the weekend listening to waves crash on an empty shore.

Then I've got 4 weeks until the B2B half IM. So it'll be a concentrated month of October with high hopes for the first weekend of November. I'm excited. I've set all kinds of crazy stupid goals for myself, I just hope I'm able to stay healthy and be strong on race day.

Off season looks like it's going to be "not so off" season, as I'm hoping to really kick my running, swimming and strength training up a notch. Not all at once though. I've decided after I take a few weeks rest, I'm going to focus just on running for about 3 weeks, then swimming for 3 weeks, then biking for 3 weeks. But what I really need is to get my strength training going again. I haven't lifted or done any since around Aug or Sep of 2005. Sad, but true. It's a mental thing with me, maybe I haven't felt good with my racing/performance because I don't feel strong because I'm missing that one piece. I don't know. Maybe I'm making excuses.

No more excuses, that's going to be a new year resolution...starting in November. Whatever, somebody's new year starts in November, right? I mean China's isn't actually January 1st. So I'm declaring my own new year. November (date to be determined), resolutions: no more excuses, no more sugar (candy), lots more Sugar (smooches), and first IM. Sounds like a good year to me.

What makes you feel better?

1. A 56 mile hard bike ride where I was the "lead" woman the entire ride. (Let's just not talk about the fact that I started the ride at the same time the triathletes started swimming.) For the first and probably last time I knew what it was like to ride behind the lead motorcycle on the course.

2. Another great track workout where I hit my 800s consistently under my goal. Followed by a great swim workout!

3. Ryan trying to make me not be sick today. "mommy do you feel ok?" No, buddy mommy doesn't feel good. "Mommy, I will get you some coffee that makes me feel better. Yeah coffee and candy, I will get you some."

4. A husband that recognizes I don't feel good and let's me rest while he picks up, cooks dinner, feeds kids and handles bed/bath time.

5. Seeing doggies get along.

In your face

So Tim asked me Thursday night "you wanna do that cross country 5K in Greensboro Saturday with me?" Sure, I guess. "It'll be a good way to see how your 5K time is coming along." Sure, I guess.

So today overcast, temperature somewhere in low 60s, drizzling rain.
6:30 - wake up and make breakfast for the boys
8:45 - swim class with boys
9:45 - Tim aerates lawn while I take boys to grandma/grandpa's
10:45 - we leave for 5K in greensboro
12:00 - arrive in Greensboro at site
1215 - register for race
12:30- Race starts...
12:47:33 - Tim finishes 5K
12:54:33 -Angela finishes 5K

Oh you read it right, booo yowww. In your face 8 min. pace....24:33 a PR by exactly 1 minute from May. Sweet 7:55 pace....on a hilly (sort of) cross country course. Toot Toot! That's me tooting my own horn. I'm so happy. Sorry, I'm not normally this "out there" about my accomplishments, normally pretty modest and humble but I'm excited about this. This time came after my 90 minute run yesterday, in the ran with my trainers on.

When we got to this race, I was a little overwhelmed. It was huge. I found out as we were hustling to the start line that this race is one of the largest east coast invitationals for cross country for middle school, high school and smaller colleges. We registered for the "open" division, which normally presents itself with a wide range of ability levels...not so much today. I was standing at the start line, the only person not in a posed race position, not wearing a watch and I had to giggle. These people were serious and I knew I was going to get my butt kicked...by the good runners.

So I just tried to remember what Tim said in the car...
1) keep the first 1/2 mile easy, let everybody go, don't let them pull me with them. Check. I found myself feeling like I went out to fast but quickly realizing that I was next to last at the first little turn around. Were they really that much faster than me or was I going out too conservatively?
2)start to pick up pace at Mile 1 to 2. Check. So I busted my butt from mile 1 to 2 to make up some ground and over took about 4 or 5 people.
3)Try to go all out for the last mile...um half check. I remember seeing the mile 2 marker and thinking "seriously, what the hell?" I tried to push but honestly I think I was just working harder to keep the same pace. I popped out of the woods and saw Tim.

"You're at 24 mins....run Angela, you can break 25...run faster, use your arms, push." No crap...I am, aren't I? Am I? Did I? 24:33. Yes. Tim said it didn't look I picked up my pace very much so he was wondering if I heard him yelling at me...If anyone knows Tim, can you answer that question for him? Did I hear him? Uh yeah. But the fact that I can't pick it up much means I didn't leave anything on the first 3 miles if you know what I mean. I was at maximum effort here people.

So Tim said "I'm so proud of you. Get you on a flat course that's not cross country and I can get you in mid 23's easy...maybe high 22s."

Let's just take this one step at a time shall we? That run hurt.

I'm a dork

Okay so apparently when I changed my photo it somehow (obviously user error) changed my signature name to the name of the photo...all should be better.

Thank you Tim for understanding what all these lovely ladies were talking about. I was clueless.

I'm not sure

1. what to think of track workouts. All 3 have been completely different. Last night we had 3 x (4x400) with 100 jog between the 400s. As I've yet to find anyone else there who will run with me I did the workout alone. My goal was to hit the 400s at 2 min...putting me at 8 min pace. Tim says that's a good goal for me for a 5k time right now. So that's what I tried.

After last week's mess, I was a little worried. my first set was 1:50, 1:54, 1:55, 1:54. Whoa...cool, can I keep that pace up? Second set was 1:55, 1:55, 1:57, 1:54. Uh, oh...seriously come on Angela you can do this one more time, right? Last set 1:54, 1:55, 1:54, 1:49. Well color me stupid, I did it. I freakin did it faster than I wanted to. Take that 8 min pace, I kicked your butt with 7:40, how do you like that? I got a total of 5.25 in and actually did it. I told Tim that I had to walk some of the 100s and asked if that was "ok" and he said it didn't make a difference in my legs only my breathing. So I guess I need to work on my breathing at faster paces.

So seriously, maybe I just do better at shorter intervals on the track. Probably means my endurance is not so good at higher speeds...but I can work on that.

2. The name change a couple of you mentioned? If you mean the title of my blog, I changed that months ago. Not sure. Hmm. Has that evil goblin moved from my treadmill to my computer?

3. After a month of working full time, I'm not sure I like it. I miss terribly being at home with my boys. I don't like feeling rushed in the evenings to get home and get dinner done so I can be with them before bed. And in the morning I only get the groggy headed boys that can barely recognize that they are out of bed before mommy drops them off. I'm sure this will get easier, it's only been a month. Being a grown up sucks.

Better late than never

Pictures from our trip to the zoo with Grandma, Nina and cousin Madison.

Ryan at the seal exhibit.

Brayden startled by the seal.

Ryan, Brayden and cousin Madison.

Ryan looking at the big kitty.

Ryan in the bee hive.

Brayden on the playground in the middle of the zoo.

running, water and too many kids

So I got a long run in this morning...well long for me (like 75 minutes) although after reading some of the other blogs out there with everyone training IM distance it felt trivial. But anyhow, it was a good run.

Since we've moved, the runs are on long, rolling hills in the country. So nice. I passed 3 or 4 horse farms, tons of cyclists and very few cars. I got "greeted" by 2 dogs twice, as I was running out and back but fortunately they stopped running after me once they realized I wasn't stopping at their drive way. But I have to say the best thing about this run was just being able to "be". I kept thinking about things from this week that made me happy and just couldn't help but smile during the run and it made things go by so quickly.

1. back to Tuesday night's track session from hell. I think I was not focused at all...so maybe that's why I couldn't hold a pace to save my life. The reason for my lack of focus, a little boy playing in the sprinklers that were watering the field inside the track. He was waiting for his dad to finish the track work out. At the start of my second mile I just head this loud "thud thud splish ssssssppppt." So I looked over and this kid had gotten about 6 inches away from one of the sprinklers and squatted his butt in front of the stream of water. It was so funny. He kept jumping around as it would turn trying to keep his butt in the water. He was soaked through. It just made me want to forget the running and go play. I kept thinking about when I was young and we had the "fan like" sprinklers that looked like an arch of water. We'd play games to see who could make it from point A to point B before the water hit them.

2. Thursday night as I sat on the trainer in the garage at 6:30 to start my bike session, the family across the street (with 9 kids) came into the cul-de-sac to play baseball. They do this frequently. They didn't have enough this night...only 3 per side. the other 3 were riding skate boards. So I heard one of them yell "Ghost man on third". Oh man! I remember that more vividly than the sprinkler playing. The youngest little girl was wearing a hot pink sun dress with fuchsia, light pink and yellow flower prints, no shoes, and her bright blond hair was a tangled mess. It was like staring in a mirror of a younger me. To swing the bat for her took an act of God, she was only 4 or 5 at most. But she could run like the dickens. They were playing with a tennis ball and had to throw it at the runners and hit them to get them out. I wanted to go out there and call "I'll be the all time pitcher" Loved watching them.

3. Still on Thursday night, one of the oldest boys got out this little motorcycle. It looked like it was built for a 3 year old it was so small. He started riding it up and down the road. One of the sister's skate boarding wanted to ride, so she climbed on back. Just then I heard their mom yell "NO! Get off of the back of that, there's not room for two. You going to get hurt." This mother is all of 5ft.2 and probably no more than 110 pounds soaking wet. Hard to believe 9 kids came out of that body. I digress. So the daughter gets off, the mother comes over and makes the brother get off, takes the helmet and then proceeds to put the helmet on and take the motorcycle for a ride herself! Nice I thought. Look at her enjoying it and having fun with her kids. She was laughing and running with them....being a kid herself.

So all these things were going through my mind again on my "long" run this morning. What I wouldn't give to be a child again. No worries, no fears, no boundaries, no expectations, no guilt, no shame only fun, food, friends, skate boards, ghost men on third and water in your butt.

What's in a run?

Pain:
Last Saturday was a 10k, which was preceded by 4 days of intestinal misfortune. It was painful and I went much slower than I wanted to but I finished with mild stomach cramps and only vomiting up stomach acid once at mile 5.

Joy:
Monday was a recovery run. Peaceful, back to normal intestinal function and the correct training pace.

Disappointment:
Tuesday was a track workout. Last time I did this was 2 weeks ago and it went well then. That work out was 10 x 800s. I only did 4.5 of them since I had already run that day. I was surprised at how easy it was. Then this past Tuesday I got a dose of reality. The workout was 5 x 1 mile. I did the first mile at just under 8 min. pace. Uh then I fell apart. It's not that every mile got slower, it was every LAP got slower. I had to change the workout to a mix of 800s and 1200s until I got 5 miles in. It was horrible. Was I just lucky 2 weeks ago, am I just that bad with my endurance/speed or are track workouts really that hard?

Fun:
Today I ran for the sake of running. No watch to keep up with my splits. No "must push it" attitude. I slowed when I felt the need, I picked it up and dug deep when I got the motivation. I didn't think of anything other than the cold humid air combined with the drizzling rain hitting my face. Sure I probably didn't go very fast, but I had fun for the first run in a long time. And I dislike running the most of the 3 disciplines so that's saying a lot.

Accomplishment:
Maybe this Saturday's long run will bring good accomplishments for my time and distance again. If it weren't for needing to make sure I get a set amount of time in I would consider not wearing my watch then either. It was nice not being tied to that evil contraption.

By popular demand...

here's another one:

Getting ready for bed tonight...
"Arms up buddy...shirt off. Go pee pee please."
"Um okay mom. Watch this! It's working" (translation - The pee is flowing into the potty)
"Good job. Now let's wash your hands and brush your teeth."
"Um Okie dokie smokie."

I keep waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. As I peer around the corner he's standing on the foot stool admiring his cute little face in the mirror. Making faces at himself, rubbing his chest.

"Um, mommy...these are my nipples. Why do I have little nipples?"
"because you are little."
"No, I'm a big boy."
"you are a big boy, but you are still growing and as you grow even bigger, so will your nipples."
"Um, ok. "

He leans his head downward toward his chest and whispers something while rubbing his nipples some more.

"ryan are you ready for bed now?"
"um yeah mom. My nipples are ready for bed too. I told them they will be big boy nipples some day."

Staying Hydrated

This past weekend, Ryan saw the dead worms on the drive way:

"Mommy, you see those worms."
"yeah buddy"
"Mommy, I want to play with those worms"
"I don't think they can play."
"What's wrong with those worms, mommy?"
"Buddy they are just a little dry. They need water to be able to move and crawl back to the dirt."
"oh. Mommy, I know. Let's go get them a swimming pool. Then they can swim and crawl back to the dirt."
"That's a good idea Ryan but I think they're a little to dehydrated at this point."
"Yeah, you're right mom. Dehydrated."

If it were only as simple as getting them a pool, I could keep him from going through this conversation every time we go out to the car. When it rained the other day he told me "It's raining and the worms can get wet now mommy, let's go play with them."

I think I just need to go sweep them into the grass.

When I'm alone

and left to my own devices, I can really do some pretty ridiculous things.

Today for example, I successfully mowed the lawn and did yard work at 9:30 am with both boys outside and the two dogs. (more on that in a minute). It was actually very calm and under control surprisingly enough. Ryan and Brayden played on the swing set and in the club house while I was in the back yard mowing. Then when I had to move to the front yard, Ryan went inside and got both bubble mowers and gave one to Brayden and said "Come on baby, we got to help mommy get this grass mowed." So they followed behind me as I mowed...and behind them Bowden and Bella...we had a Gautreau mow train going.

They even helped me pull weeds and sweep up. Although their weed pulling involved some pansies and their sweeping more so just moved the dirt all over the place instead of getting it in one spot, but whatever; they were helping and being very good.

Then we had lunch and quiet time. Their quiet time was my recovery brick session. Then I decided that I still had time while they were sleeping to try and re-arrange all the furniture downstairs just to see what the different sofa sets would look like in different rooms of the house. Uh, when two 6ft.5, 250 pound men have to move the stuff in...how the heck did I think I was going to rearrange it on my own. Simple, I'm super woman. Or so I think sometimes. Needless to say I moved 2 sofas, called Tim to say "Please tell me to stop" and he did, so I did. I put the sofas back then got the kids up.

Next was a little play time which mostly consisted of Ryan and Brayden "racing like mommy", then an early dinner. I put FSU jerseys on both boys, threw my FSU shirt on and headed to Chik-fil-A. They were doing a Labor day special where you wear your teams shirt and you get a free sandwich. So we played at the indoor place because it was raining and ate free chicken.

Fast forward to after the boys are asleep and what am I doing? Rearranging/cleaning the garage, cleaning the back porch and laundry. What is wrong with me. I need to go to bed already.

Before I forget. Bella is our new dog. After 3.5 years of hints, whispers, nagging and innuendos, Tim finally convinced me that we needed another dog for Bowden. So last Monday we took Ryan to the Wake County Animal Shelter and got Bella. She's a 4 year old lab mix. Other than having a few too many pounds on her, she's a great dog and the transition has been pretty seamless. She gets along great with the boys and Bowden and is very lovable. She absolutely loves to play fetch and constantly walks around with either a tennis ball or bone in her mouth, with her tongue hanging out of the other side.

Catching up

So I've been so busy lately.

Thursday night was NCAA football season kickoff and my Alma mater was the first game of the season: NCSU vs. South Carolina. Tim got us tickets to watch the game, 20 yard line and pretty close to the field. We even had cushy seats on the bleachers for us...it was nice. We got burgers and cheddar brats and did a little tailgating before the game. Tim was the one that went to get the supplies, but forgot plates and silverware. I was going to use the box top that the little grill he bought came in to flip the burgers but he asked some people beside us for supplies. I felt like an amateur tailgater. Sitting there watching the burgers sizzle and realizing we had no way to get them.

Friday I somehow got volunteered by my manager to bring cases home for the weekend and work. Not sure how I got roped into that, I'm one of three of us on my team at work with a laptop so it's inevitable that I'll get dumped on occasionally. But holy wow, the first week I'm back full time and a holiday weekend at that. Thanks team, no really I mean it.

Saturday I got a great long run in and then we took the boys to Monkey Joes. Doesn't seem like a lot but when I added some case work in, it was a long day. I tried to stay awake and watch football with Tim but by the time the good game (LSU vs. Washington) started I had been asleep for at least 2 hours. Sorry Tim.

That brings me to today. This morning I got up to start my long ride, I needed to get about 2.5 hours so I was out of the house by 7:15. My legs were pretty heavy so steady pace was the way to go. I felt decent during the ride and then it happened...again making me feel like an amateur. The only time I had to stop on my ride was crossing a major road (Highway 64) on 751 Hwy. I always clip out with my left foot when I stop. As I had done this and was just starting to slow down, foot off the pedal, a car speeds by me. I didn't hear the car at all. It was one of those electric cars I guess. I usually hear the cars, but not this one. It scared the living daylights out of me. They had not moved over at all and were only a few inches from me as they pulled in front of me to get in the right turning lane. I jerked as a reflex and couldn't get my right foot un-clipped in time. So to cushion my fall, like an idiot, I put my hands out. I only got a little scape on my knee, a small cut and raspberry on my thigh from my chain and little scuff marks on the heel of both hands from bracing myself.

I kind of fault myself for the fall as much as I do the driver. Sure they could have moved over more to give me more room. But dang, I'm never that skittish on the bike when other vehicles pass me. I'm typically unphased and can stay steady. Not today. I was worn out. When I got up from the pavement, my knees almost buckled. No, the car didn't stop, but I didn't expect them to, they seemed rushed. When I got home it was just over 2.5 hours of riding but my wrist and hand hurt from trying to break my fall. Still a great day of training.

To top it all off, I'm single again for the remainder of the weekend. Tim found somebody to get a FSU ticket from, somebody to ride to FL with and an old co-worker to stay with when he gets there. So he's living up his college football dream of going back to Doak Campbell Stadium to see his Seminoles play Miami tomorrow. I hope they can kick some hurricane booty since my wolfpack mucked it up on Thursday.

Things I will miss

So I started work back full time this week. A necessary evil for moving to a bigger house. Maybe I can convince Tim that when we pay the cars off I can go part-time again???? Just a thought.

So here's what I'm going to miss:
1. Monday/Friday wake up from Ryan hopping into bed and cuddling up to me saying "mommy can we cuddle and watch pinky dinky doo?"
2. Peeking into Brayden's bedroom to see him lifting his shirt and saying to himself "bee bo" or belly button for those of you who might not have read Sandra Boyton's books.
3. All day PJ fest with pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner!
4. Playing "Not a box".
5. Racing dump trucks with Brayden in the back of them.
6. Wrestling.
7. Taking a nap with my boys.
8. Watching Brayden make the "where did it go" sign while saying "Ah???" every time Ryan walks out of the room.
9. Playing "tag your it" with Ryan
10. Seeing the boys smile and light up when Tim comes home.

Ryan's 3 year old mind

Ryan had his 3 year check up today and I couldn't go so Tim took him. The phone call update went like this:

Tim: "He is 3ft. 4 1/4 inches and weighed 36 lbs. They gave him the flu mist shot. The doctor checked his belly, nose, ears, mouth and then told Ryan he had to check his "privates"."

Doctor: "Can you take your pants down so I can check your privates." He did his thing then "Okay I'm done checking your privates now."

Ryan: "No silly, that's my penis."
Doctor: "He just called me silly."
Tim:" Yes he did."

Notice there was no mention about the proper terminology he said for "his privates".

I love my son.

Single for the weekend

Tim took off for a weekend fishing trip with my dad and his dad. They're going down to Charleston to charter a boat for Friday and Saturday. The funniest thing about this scenario, if any of you know Tim, is that he doesn't like fishing. In fact he finds it boring and a waste of time. But when my dad offered for a long weekend and his dad said yes (both of them being fishermen) Tim felt compelled to go and spend the time with them. I think it's great, except for the fact that he's already called to tell me he's eating sea food for dinner tonight and I love me some sea food.

So what I am I doing for 4 days alone. Friday will be our typical day out. Saturday is morning swim class for the boys and then an afternoon trip to the zoo with my mom and Tim's mom. That should be fun. It's only about an hour away and it's a great zoo.

Sunday brings the 1 mile open water swim. Tim's asked me not to swim this race because it's in Harris Lake by Shearon Harris Nuclear Power Plant and he's scared I'm going to snort bacteria up my nose and die. But I think I'll swim anyway. What's life without a little danger, right? Besides, I assured him I don't snort lake water or bacteria.

UFC Gautreau Style

So before I post the UFC pictures (not really) of the boys wrestling each other; I just have to draw attention to the new picture of Brayden with the "sock guy" socks on. Haha I love that pic, I actually have another one of him standing up with them pulled up to his knees. Too cute.

Anyhow. This is the boys favorite past time with each other over the last few months now. Does anyone see how they have to take off all couch cushions before commencing said wrestling match?

Ryan with the tickle move that has rendered Brayden defenseless. (notice the elongated leg and spread toes.)

Brayden able to re-group and get the take down.

Ryan proving that he is the "older brother" and able to reverse Brayden's take down to get the pin.

What's funny is that Brayden can get Ryan in an arm bar...unintentionally of course. But the little booger has done it to me as well. And watch out for Brayden's up kicks...Destructive! Ryan on the other hand has definitely mastered the head locks simply by trying to hug Brayden (since his neck is at Ryan's arm height)...I'm sure the guillotine choke is coming. We've got to watch the hugs in this house.

Hillsborough Race Report

This race had me more nervous than I was two years ago for my first 1/2 IM. Literally, I had butterflies....all because I dislike hills. I was up every hour to either use the bathroom or get Brayden because he was not resting well due to the crappy croup crud. My goal for this race was to break 1:15. It's only 100m longer than the Kirby sprint we did earlier in the season but it's a tougher course.

This swim was a pool swim and I didn't start till 8:20. What was nice is that this is one of the very few races that I did that Tim did not race with me, so he timed my swim splits for me. 1:42, 2:00 (trying to pass some who wouldn't stop), 2:12 (got lazy and ran into some guy backstroking a pool swim and got my goggles knocked off and had to stop at the wall...dumb me) 2:00. Needless to say, I've GOT to get faster in the water. I've got to make this a focus of mine...seriously there are no more excuses.

The bike is a nice course with some moderate hills that go on forever. You climb for a 1/2 mile up a hill then you've got a false flat for another 1/2 mile. Yuk! I dislike hills, have I said that. I thought I was pushing really well until the cateye told me I was at 42 minutes for 12 miles...what the heck, seriously? I've been averaging close to 19 on my 2 hour long rides on hill comparable to these. What happened?? Oh well.

The run is a two loop course. I had passed a ton of people on the bike so my goal was to not have them pass me back on the run. I was slow getting started and knew it was going to be mental. I finished the first loop to hear and see the boys cheering for me as I headed out for the last lap. I felt like I was barely moving. I got to one very slight mole hill and slowed down, I wasn't walking, but I wouldn't call it running. Actually I think I would say it was a speed walk. After that I saw someone pass me that I didn't think should have and then I saw the little 14 year old girl that inched me out on the run at Kirby and I said "Ah heck no, not again." The thing is that she didn't have her pacer with her this time! As I was making the turn to the finish, I heard Tim yell..."you're right at 1:15" Ah crap, run faster.

I didn't make it...1:15:15. Stinking speed walking...I knew I shouldn't have done that crap. And I did beat that 14 year old this time. It's the little stupid things that give me pleasure.

After seeing the results, my bike split was actually 38:30. I guess I didn't reset my cateye before the race. So that was more like it...18.7 mph I think. I can live with that. My run wasn't as bad as I thought (26:40) but it was about a minute slower than I would have liked, especially since I train at a faster pace than that. My efforts were good enough for 15th OA and 3rd in my age group. I missed second AG by about a minute...again the run and probably the swim. I was too far out of first that girl just blew it all out.

(Due to hurricane Bill and Tim's being sick, we didn't go to the beach for his race. Although I was trying to get them to let me take his spot. Two in one weekend. That's good right?)

Random

I've been picking up on the training hours since 01 August, doing pretty well actually. But this week has turned into an all out rest week for me. I guess I needed it. My legs were not so good yesterday when I attempted to run; in fact I only made it about 2.25 miles before giving in. I guess it will be fine though, just an ultra taper for a really small race on Saturday. And by small I mean it's only 400m swim, 12 mile bike and a 5K. I'm doing a local super sprint in Hillsborough. Did anyone catch the name of that city...HILLSborough. Yeah, not my favorite place to race around here but I just felt like racing.

After the race we're headed to take the boys to a water park in Greensboro and then we're off to the outer banks...Nags head actually. Tim is going to race on Sunday. Action packed weekend ahead. The boys will have a blast, that is if we can get them healthy. Everyone in this Gautreau house is borderline sick. Ryan is congested, Brayden has the croup (for the second time), I've been stuffy for a few days and Tim swears he's coming down with some weird deadly virus from swallowing lake water last weekend. I doubt the deadly part, but I have no doubt he's getting sick too.

And to top it all off, when we took Brayden to the urgent care to get a steroid shot for the croup, the first thing the doctor said (before shutting the door or looking at us even!) "so we had a child with the chicken pox in here today. You have up to 21 days for system to start if you're going to get it." Oh yes! That's what we wanted to hear. Luckily Ryan was not with us at the time so he didn't get exposed, but Tim has never had chicken pox. And at least Brayden go the vaccine at his 1 year visit. Hopefully it will work.

Precious Moments

So this is how we end our days with Ryan. As precious as it is, there are some funny or "non serious" moments too. He repeats after us...here goes:

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May angels watch me through the night and keep me in their blessed sight. What's the last step mommy? AMENNNN"

"God bless Uncle Chris...mommy I don't have uncle chris, what does he do?"
Me- "yes you do Ryan, that's Aunt Trudy's husband, he works on computers."
"Oh yeah, I member."
"God bless Aunt Trudy....she lives in Calyfornya mommy."
"God bless Aunt Jenn and cousin madison, does aunt Jen rock?"
"God bless Nina and Papa, God bless Grandma and my buddy Grandpa."
"God bless Brayden, God bless daddy, God bless Bowden (the dog), God bless mommy."
"God bless my friends, God bless my teachers."
Me - "did we forget anybody?"
"God bless ME! AMEN!"

Amen.

Uh, what did you say?

Me - "Okay boys, let's go to the castle park. We're going out the front door."
Brayden - "blaha brrrr ma"
Ryan - "Um, excuse me mommy, I pooped on your carpet."
M - "What?"
R - "I pooped on your carpet."
M - "Are you kidding me? Did you really poop on mommies carpet or are you playing?"
R - "No, I really did poop on your carpet....see."
B - "AHHHH, Haaaa, heee!"
M - "How did you get the poop out of your pants and on to the carpet ryan?"
R - "I took it out with my hands."
M - "next time can you tell mommy before you poop and we can go in the potty and not put poop on the carpet."
R - "Okay, I will poop like a big boy."

Wonderful.

What a weekend

Last night Tim and I got a night out with some friends. Marty and Bri organized a night at the Durham Bulls game. We got some dinner at Mellow Mushroom, the ball game, fireworks and then a little socializing at the bar after the game. I must admit that when I asked Tim to leave, I wasn't as tired as I said I was at the time, but I was thinking about my ride this morning and if I'd be able to function on so little sleep. It was nice to get out amongst adults even though I'm not really a social butterfly.

So since we've moved, I've had the luxury of being able to get out on Sunday mornings and get some good road time in on the bike. It's absolutely gorgeous out here! Nice rolling hills, the lake, little to no vehicular traffic, and tons of other cyclists out. I was out of the house this morning by 7:15 and got a great 32 miles in. Just amazing riding. Not only good training, but just so good mentally as well. Peaceful, slightly overcast, cool weather, shady roads, rooster crowing. I just love my Sunday long rides now as apposed to being on the trainer for 2-3 hours.

The other great thing has been my ability to go to our neighborhood pool during the week and get one to two quick swims in...nothing long or extremely difficult. But it seems that the more I get in the pool the better I swim...whoa, what a concept right? The boys are loving the pool too, if we could only get Brayden to actually swim and not run around like a wild chicken.

Just a quick one

A huge thank you to everyone regarding the last post I made. I've not only gotten the comments from you all online but I've gotten some phone calls as well from people who read my blog. My intention was not only to share my experience in hopes that it may help another mom going through it, but was just as importantly to thank Tim. I don't say it enough to him so I wanted to.

I appreciate everyone's well wishes and encouraging words. It really is nice to have people who care, regardless of whether they are family, acquaintances, or virtual friends. I think I received so many happy thoughts that I had what felt like a kick ass swim last night! I was feeling the love, so thanks again.

Not the good patient

I think it's safe to say that most people working in the health care industry (MDs, RNs, Pharmacists, clinical work, etc.) tend to not make very good patients when their own health or condition is the focus. So why should it surprise me that I was any different. This is a long post and a very personal and difficult one for me to address, so please bear with me. This post may not be understood by most of you but perhaps it will give someone some comfort in knowing they are not alone.

Three years ago, Ryan was only a few weeks old and life was supposed to be WONDERFUL. A new baby, a new husband, a new house...a new life. Isn't that what we dream of as little girls? What we're supposed to want out of life? Instead, I found my self holding my newborn in the middle of the floor, rocking back and forth crying. Thinking to myself that I was no good, I was going to be a horrible mother, praying that I could just get a grip of myself long enough to think clearly. I would walk out of one room laughing and into the next room in tears. Is this what being a new mom is? Does every woman react like this?

Tim and I didn't know what was going on. We fought about it, never realizing that there was an obvious answer. At Ryan's 6 week check-up, the pediatrician did a "postpartum depression survey" with me. After scoring the survey, he smiled at me and said "I'll be right back". When he came back, he was loaded with brochures and facts sheets and simply said "you might want to ready through these."

How dare he accuse me of having postpartum! Who does he think he is? How does any new mother not suffer from fatigue and irritability and anxiety? Does he seriously think I'm going to try and hurt my child? That's what most of us think, right? Postpartum depression is about hurting or killing your child or yourself. But because I couldn't handle being told I had a problem, I suffered through it for more than a year. Telling myself and Tim that it was getting better, when all I was doing was pushing the problem further down. I thought I could take care of it myself. No meds, no support groups, no therapy. I'm a strong woman after all, I've been through so much worse than a few "hormonal moments".

Just after Ryan's 1 year birthday I was starting to feel a little normal again and found out I was pregnant with Brayden. I didn't have the body image issues I had with the first pregnancy, so I didn't think I'd have a problem this time with ppd. I made it through Brayden's 6 week check-up without being handed brochures and both Tim and I thought we were in the clear. Aside from a few crying spells, all seemed well. We had gotten past the postpartum issue with flying colors.

So when Brayden was 6 months old and I started feeling the depression, anxiety and irritability creep up again I was confused. I didn't think it could happen like that...so far after giving birth. Then in January this year I found myself on the phone calling psychiatrists offices, crying asking for help. When 3 different offices told me they didn't take my insurance I gave up and made an appointment with the pediatrician. I would not let this happen again. My health was affecting my kids, my husband, my marriage and my other family. It was time to be responsible and stop being stubborn.

I attended a few support group sessions but found myself saying "I'm not as bad off as they are." How wrong I was. I ended up on two medications for depression and anxiety. I also started going to weekly psychologist sessions where we not only talk about the underlying issues of the depression, anxiety and irritability; but I receive neurofeedback sessions as well. These are sessions using light, sound, and patterns via computer to "correct" neuropathways in your brain. Good for depression, anxiety, irritability, ocd, etc.

Initially I was told that after 6 months we could re-evaluate the medication. So being the stubborn and motivated person I am, I decided to take myself off the medication while we were moving. No consultation, just do it. I know how, I work in drug safety...right? So after 3 weeks of 1/2 doses and missed doses, I had the conversation with the only person who is able to reach me...Tim. "Angela, I don't know what's been going on for the last three weeks but it's not good." After admitting to him what I had done, we had a "come to Jesus" talk so to speak.

Both my psychologist and psychiatrist agreed that I need a few more months of medication and because I essentially created a withdrawal affect by decreasing my medication too quickly. Let it be known that I hate taking medication of any sort. So I'm not happy about having to continue with it, but at this point, after 3 years of suffering from this I can't afford to continue ignoring what is going on. For the sake of my boys, my husband or myself.

Postpartum for me has been an eye-opening and humbling experience. It has claimed too many "should have been happy" times and has caused me to be some person that I know I am not. It has claimed what little bit of positive self image I worked so hard for over the last 15 years and it has put strain on the most wonderful relationship I've ever had.

So now, after 6 months of therapy/medication I have almost no anxiety, and my obsessive-compulsive tendencies have seemed to vanish...what I mean to say is that my closet and dresser are no longer color coded (ROY G BIV) and I don't have to count how many times each foot steps on a certain surface to make sure I'm giving both feet "equal opportunity"...don't ask. I'm still working on the irritability and depression. This has been a very long, hard road. I can honestly say that I will never judge another person who is seeing a psychologist or taking medication. I will not dismiss another woman who is having postpartum issues nor will I underestimate the power hormones have over a person's body.

But I will thank the person who has listened to me, supported me, guided me and loved me. Who has stood by me and never stopped loving me despite the way the last 3 years have played out...Tim. So many people would have turned the other way, but my best friend stayed and has been the most wonderful husband every step of the way. And for that I am forever grateful.

Get Hooked-Up

This was my conversation as I picked Ryan up from daycare today:

R -"Mommy, I bumped Cassius with the dump truck."
M-"Why did you do that buddy? It's not nice to bump people with dump trucks, that hurts them"
R-"I was not pay attention."
M-"did you apologize?"
R-"yeah, I did."
M"What happened after you bumped him, how did you get in trouble."
R-"Ms. Barbara told me no bumping, and I was not being nice, then go get HOOKED UP!"
M-"What does hooked up mean buddy?"
R-"It means, red means stop. You have to stop mommy the light is red now. Stop like the blue truck mommy. When we get home we can watch my car movie because I'm lightening McQueen. I'm fast, I'm a race car and I'm a builder digging in the dirt. You can be 'Mater' mommy and you can watch my movie with me."
M-"Okay, but what does hooked up mean?"
R-"Oh mommy, you stop it now and pay attention. Go get hooked up I said."

I just stopped after that. There's no real conversation with a 3 year old. although I was proud of him for telling me about the situation with Cassius at school.

Off to a good start

So after White Lake 1/2 I took a little more of a training break that I had intended to, but with the house stuff going on it just happened that way. I was supposed to race in an Olympic distance race Saturday with Tim in Washington NC but I declined due to the lack of training. We still went and cheered for daddy (11th overall, yeah!).

I had promised myself that August 1st would kick start the official training for the B2B half in November. So when Tim got on his bike at the race, I hit the run course to try and get a good run in. His parents watched Brayden and my parents had Ryan so it worked out well. Since the run course wasn't marked, I ended up running part of the bike course. I'm not sure exactly how far I ran but it was for just shy of 40 minutes. I had to cut it short because the humidity was awful. I could have showered if I had the soap at 8 minutes in to my run.

After the race, we ate and left the boys at the lake with my parents. Tim and I got to come home and go see Nickelback for the third or fourth time. They put on a GREAT show! Definitely an adult show but a great show. Although, if we decide to go again, I'll have to make sure it's mostly songs from their new album. Essentially we've seen the same show every time we've gone to see them in the past 3 years. They only played 3 songs from their new album this weekend which is a shame. Don't get me wrong, they are a great band, but I want to hear the new stuff. Oh well, the night out was fun anyway.

On Sunday I got a great 2 hour ride in with a friend of mine. We've been talking about getting together to train for months and finally yesterday it worked out. In the pouring rain for two hours, but neither of us cared because we both needed the riding time outdoors. The first 18 miles were at a great pace, working hard. Then she took me up this incline that literally had my bike standing straight up. It was killer...and that was it for me. After that we finished the last 10-12 miles or so at a very leisurely pace, side by side, talking. It was a good time regardless. And guess what, we even talked about making Sundays a regular thing! Oh the glory of it. I'm so excited.

So days 1 and 2 of official training started off really well. Now a short swim tonight then a run/swim tomorrow. I'm getting back in the swing of things. Look out B2B.

Where's Spot?

This is one of Ryan's favorite books. It's very simple but he likes being able to pull the tags to "look for Spot" the dog. On one page it asks "Is he in the closet?" and when you open the closet doors there is a monkey hanging from the bar eating a banana. Ryan always says "No, it's a monkey eating banas." Then last night as we read the book he replied "No, it's a monkey eating a "banana." What??? I stopped and asked him again what the monkey was eating. " A banana mommy."

It seems so trivial. So insignificant. Like the first time he pronounced motorcycle correctly instead of his usual "mota-guy-gle". But for as many times as I indiscreetly try to correct his pronunciation of words, sentence structure or verb tense, I will miss the way he said "bana" and "motaguygle". One more step to growing up and yet still so many years left.

Now if we could just get him to say his "l's" correctly. Well maybe I'll hold off on that right now, I enjoy hearing "Mommy, I wub you so much."

1 week in the new house

And I'm exhausted! I've barely trained in the last 3 weeks. And when I say barely I mean maybe 2-3 times each week, being a quick run or short ride. But I don't mind, you know why???? Because I'm in my dream house now!!!! I can't believe it. I'm actually glad the other house we were building fell through because now we're in a house with a similar floor plan, more square footage, a bigger lot and a neighborhood pool. We're so lucky. I can't stop smiling. We've only been here a week, there are still boxes and totes to be unpacked, pictures still need to be hung and new bed linens to be bought but I feel like we've been here forever and this is where we belong.

I'll post pictures later, but now I have to finish getting ready for our first party in the new house...Ryan's 3 year birthday party is tomorrow.

Longest move in history

So the deal was supposed to be done on Wednesday the 15th, but these people buying our house apparently have been looking at it since February and have been driving by like 3 times a week since we signed the contract and they have now moved closing up to Tuesday. That means Tim and I sign paper work on Monday to avoid the aggravating couple which means that we have to be out of the house tomorrow. What's that you ask...when do we close on the new house...oh not till the 17th. Yes that's right, we're homeless for a week. Well not really, we're staying with my parents in a 1600 sq ft. house with 4 adults, 2 toddlers and one noisy miniature schnauzer. Not to mention all our boxed up stuff that couldn't fit in the POD.

So here it is:
House on the market 9 months.
Packing house up - 1 month now.
Packing POD - 3 days
Packing remainder of house and transporting to parents house 3 days
Cleaning old house - 2 days
In Limbo - 7 days
Unpacking POD and items from parent's house - 3 days most likely
Settling in and getting everything unpacked - at least a week.

This has got to be the longest move ever.

Miracle Worker

So my legs have been absolutely dead since that big weekend of a track race and the tri. Running has been heavy and weak and biking has just been plain hard. I somehow convinced Tim to pace me last night for a quick 3.25 mile run after he had already done his 4.5. I told him I wanted him to pace me at 8 min/mile or just over...so 8:15 or so.

Mile 1: 7:59, right on que.
Mile 2: 7:53, okay this is not so bad
Mile 3: 7:57, this sucks I'm getting tired
5K mark: 24:41 (would have been a PR in a race by about 50 seconds- 7:57 pace)
Finish 3.25: 25:43 ( total 7:57 pace)

After the run I told Tim I was hurting, my breathing was shallow and fast. But after a couple of minutes I felt really good and wondered if I could have gone faster. Tim told me "I'm going to have you running in the 22's for your 5Ks and I laughed. I told him my dad and my old softball Coach (jimmy) would laugh at him too. And my dad did. Dad actually said something to the affect of "don't you know grass grows under her feet".

To which Tim replied "I work miracles"

Updated times

So they officially posted the results for the ultimate runner. I had the mile, 400, and 800 times right. Unfortunately I over estimated my 100 time a bit. I guess I really was jogging it! they had my time as 18 seconds...don't laugh, I told you I took it easy before the 5K.

They also had my 5K as a 25:37...which is almost 30 seconds faster than I thought I did. But Tim and I both swear I crossed when the clock said 26:02...so I don't know how they got that time.

Oh well. Something to build on I suppose.

Silver Spoons

So many of you ladies out there are getting ready for the "feed themselves" stage. So here's a little post just for you. I don't normally post about stuff like this, but I'm just so amazed at how much more quickly Brayden has learned to use the fork and spoon compared to Ryan that I realized I needed to share what I believe to be the reason. Actually it was something my sister Trudy sent as a gift and has paid off immensely.

When both boys started eating solids, we used the Gerber rubber tipped spoons to protect their gums. Good for the purpose but not so much when they want to actually use the spoons themselves and keep food on them. I'm sure you ladies can testify that those Gerber spoons just don't hold a lot, nor do they lend themselves to impatient toddlers trying to keep food on them.

Exhibit A:
In the picture above, you see (from left to right) an adult set of silverware, a kids set, a cocktail set, the plastic set and then the Gerber spoon. I had bought several different kinds of toddler silverware. If you could find it in the grocery store or baby store and I bought it. The problem we had was that the plastic set doesn't hold much on the spoon and you really can't stab with the fork but they are lighter. The other sets are are actual kids silverware, but they are really big, heavy and again can't hold much on the spoon.

Here's where Trudy came in. She sent me a pack of cocktail (appetizer) utensils from World Market. They're smaller for the mouth, have a deep spoon to hold food, the knife isn't sharp at all, and they are LIGHT! Perfect. So you can also find them at Target with their dishes and I highly recommend them. Brayden is already stabbing away with the fork and getting pretty good with the spoon. Ryan is almost three and he still uses them. He can work the spoon so much better and spills so much less. The picture below shows a side view of the spoons so you can see how much deeper the appetizer spoon is. The appetizer fork is so narrow, it's just perfect!


Hope you all find these as useful as we do! Happy eating. Oh yeah, before I forget. Deeper spoon does allow for more food on the spoon so you might want to keep your armor on during meals. If your kids throw food as much as Brayden does, you'll need it!

What are you made of?

I'd like to say sugar and spice and all things nice. Sugar and spice and all sore leg muscles is more like it.

So about a month ago Tim convinced me that I should try the "ultimate runner" race. It's a local track race where each participant runs the 1 mile, 400m, 800m, 100m and a 5K. There were 114 participants spread over 8 heats this year. We started at 5pm on Saturday. Tim was in the 3rd heat and I was in the 8th. They organized us by what we said our best personal mile time was, with the first two heats being the top men and top women. Tim turned my mile time in at 8 min.

Everyone getting ready for the first heat of the mile.

Before I share my times, just a little note to make myself feel better. I did not sprint the 100m as I was the last heat and had no recovery time before the 5k. These results are unofficial because they haven't posted the results online yet.

1 mile: 7:11 (PR)
400 m: 1:30 (PR)
800 m: 3:28 (PR)
100 m: ~ 0:15 or just under...may have been 14 sec
5K: 26:02

So I now have a base for track times...the only question is how badly do I want to try and improve upon those times. Honestly I think the only reason I ran a 7:11 mile was because Tim said he thought I could run a 7:15 or faster. I didn't think I could but I had a little pressure...good pressure though. Honestly after running that 7:11, I think I could have broken 7 had I pushed a little harder the last 2 laps, pacing is an art I suppose.

I was happy with the results as they were mostly PRs. The 5K time I was happy with simply due to the fact that I had a) never done a track meet before and b) I had pushed in the other events trying to see what I could do. Hopefully results will be posted soonish. We didn't get home till 11:30pm Saturday night then had to be up by 5:30 for a little local sprint triathlon this morning.

So this morning was difficult. It was a short pool swim. T1 was slow for me today and as I got to the mount line for the bike my chain came off...what the heck? Two race volunteers insisted that I stay on the bike and they put it back on for me but I lost at least 30-45 seconds...which doesn't seem like much but it's not a great way mentally to start the bike. This was a much hillier 12 mile course than 3 weeks ago. T2 again was slow for me; in all I probably left about a minute in transitions today. I was just moving slowly. The 5K was a test of will. It was an extremely hilly course. So needless to say after Saturday's events and the hilly bike course I was just out of steam. I finished 4th in my age group and 20/152 women overall and 107/358. It was a good day...a great weekend actually.

Swim: 4:38
Bike: 40:13.
Run: 27:12
Total time: 1:14:18

Ryan and Brayden helping daddy with race set up.

Back to the question at hand; what are you made of? This weekend I had 2 young kids show me what they were made of and what I'm made of now. Which is not the same as what it was 8-10 years ago. High school and college were very competitive, nasty, and borderline bad sportsmanship times for me. I wasn't rude to other athletes, but losing was something I struggled with. I beat myself up over it constantly and got the point that I didn't want to play if I couldn't win.

So during the 5K at the track meet Saturday, I nearly ran the entire race with a 8 or 9 year old boy. He was struggling to maintain pace so I started talking him through it "slow your breathing down, once step at a time...etc." He stayed with me. Then at the 2 mile marker, he cut me off to grab some water and I had to stop in order to not run into him. When he saw me continue on, he threw his cup down and entered an all out sprint to pass me and never looked back. That little booger used me...tooled me. All I was trying to do was help him and the little guy couldn't stand the thought of a woman potentially beating him...my interpretation. He really sped up when he saw his dad who started yelling "Pick it up son...sprint, sprint." I know what he's made of frogs and snails (slimy little things). Please note that I am being sarcastic and joking. I don't' really think this little boy is slimy; well just a little bit.

Today was a similar situation. I was coming up the last treacherous hill to the finish of the 5K and noticed that number 16 was a 11 year old girl who was walking. I told her "the top is the end then it's down hill and we're done. run with me." So she did. I commented similarly to her about breathing and step by step...rewind and repeat. She kept slowing down, so I slowed down with her and kept talking to her. Everyone was yelling so loudly as we were coming through the finishing stretch. So I got beside her, put my hand on her back and pushed her ahead of me and told her to go as fast as she could...and she did. Afterward she was on the verge of hyperventilating, but she did great! I was proud of her. I told her I was sorry for pushing her so much and her parents kept thanking me. She was made of determination and courage.

I'm now made of joy in watching others succeed and reach something they didn't think they could...despite if they are slimy or courageous. I'm proud to finally understand that it is not about being better than everyone else, it's about being my best and now knowing that my best includes helping others find their best. It's about them finishing strong and hearing loved ones tell them "I'm proud of you." It's not about me being able to out run them at the finish. It's about the accomplishment.

Okay, sorry for the mush and the long post. I'll stop now. But seriously, it was a great weekend.