05 May 2011

Nights Out

When you go from single/dating to being married and then married with children, something happens. Or it least it did for Tim and I. Like a slow change from every night being "our night" to struggling to find a night that belongs only to us.

Even before the boys came along, a small transformation started; we stopped going out on dates as often because we were always around each other. We got comfortable. Then Ryan was born, and as a new mom, I found it hard to leave him. Even going to the grocery store without him was hard at first. So dates became even more rare. Nights were spent either resting or doing something with Ryan.

And then Brayden joined the family. This definitely changed the family dynamic. We saw the need Ryan had to still have his one-on-one time, so we made a change. With the help of my parents, who agreed to watch each boy for 1 night each week, we were able (and still maintain) to implement special nights every week for each boy to have one-on-one time with Tim and I. Great for them, but still leaving little time for us to do stuff alone. It wasn't for a lack of offers for people to watch the boys, but again me feeling guilty about already having taken time away from them and not wanting to take more time on the weekends. But I see the difference this makes with Ryan. He really enjoys getting us all to himself, understandably so. He was first, he was used to nobody else but him. Brayden enjoys the time too, but he will often ask for Ryan before the night is over.

So now that baby no. 3 is actually becoming a reality and not just a thought in the back of our mind, again we find ourselves in a position of trying to figure out how we will get our night out.

I'm wondering if it will be impossible once the baby is born for us to continue one night each week for each boy. I guess we could do a weekly rotation. Ryan gets a night week 1, Brayden week 2, baby #3 week 3 and then Tim and I week 4. I'm a little worried about how it will all pan out, if not how it will pan out, just how long it will take to actually get into that new routine that satisfies everyone's need for a night out and time alone...you know the time and attention you need to fill your tank.

To be honest, I don't think my tank would be half as full as it is if it weren't for Tim's persistence in us getting our time. He's pretty good about noticing when it's been too long and actually planning something for us to do, if only for a night. I think I need my night.

1 comment:

N.D. said...

This is so important and so good that you make the time for it! COntinue to do so!