Random update

Well, I must say that eating more has done nothing more than make me feel fat and full all the time. I think my stomach has only growled once in the last week and a half since I started the mission of making sure I'm eating enough. I'm proud to say that I'm getting within 2-300 calories of what I'm burning each day as opposed to 1500 calories short. So it's better, just hard to eat that much for me.

Our house has been busy! Ryan is busy in his own world so conversations never make any sense and are often just a circle. Now that he's been potty trained fully for about 3-4 months now, he finds it humorous to try and pee anytime we're outside instead of going in to the bathroom. And even the other day as we were in the family room playing, he got up and said "I have to go pee"...off he went...to the kitchen where he pulled his pants down to his ankles and was about to christen the cabinets. WHAT? Yeah, um....you better take that to the bathroom boy. Tim and I were just so dumbfounded we didn't know what to say.

Brayden is absolutely, 100% completely the opposite of his brother. Ryan was a quiet, calm child who listened and didn't really get into things. He was/is content with what you give him. Brayden on the other hand, will find something you've barricaded and stored in a lock box. The child is into everything and when he gets it in his hot little hands, it's straight in the mouth. I thought they were supposed to outgrown the oral fixation by now??? He's a mile a minute, jumping, running, galloping, skipping, falling, flipping, turning, hanging, throwing, twirling and head banging with a smile on his face the entire time. Yikes, we are in trouble in a few more years. I've often told Tim, had Brayden come first, we definitely would have waited longer to have a second child.

Tim is nursing a calf injury that will hopefully get better with enough time for the SC 1/2 IM in May. And me, I'm just trying to hang on to whatever little bit of sanity is still hiding inside...it's hard to find right now. Work, training, house, boys, dogs, and whatever else have just absolutely drained me. How do I know? I actually drank with dinner tonight, that's how I know. It's on very rare occasions that I partake in the beverage, but tonight I had two tall glasses of pina colada with my dinner and then still had a big piece of cheesecake, yum!

I'm looking forward the half in May, I'm ready to get a race under me belt for the season...ready to get the feet wet (pun completely intended). Time to check the bed to make sure it's cozy enough.

How hard is it to eat?

I think I've mentioned before that before Marty agreed to coach me, the most I trained was about 6-8 hours/week. That was my limit, not necessarily physically, but mentally it was all I was willing to commit to with the family and work thing. Marty has built me from 10 hours starting off to the last three weeks at 15 hours. So I was surprised at how well I have physically held up. I feel strong for the first time in years when training and I'm gaining confidence with each session which just makes me feel even stronger.

The one thing that I've noticed is that the training has affected some female situations a bit drastically. After talking with Bri about it and reading up online, I'm not concerned about pregnancy, nor am I concerned any longer about having dropped too much body fat or body weight too quickly. So during my rest week, I've been tracking my food intake a bit more closely instead of just going off of "I'm hungry" or "I'm not hungry" and I've noticed that I'm only consuming about 2000-2500 calories/day. Yikes! I feel like I'm eating a lot, and I'm eating well most of the time..although I'm a bit carb heavy, but obviously (as Bri mentioned) that's not a lot of energy consumed for the amount of training I'm putting in. I'm a little shocked that I have had the energy to keep up my training considering my lack of nutrition...but what I am eating is good stuff. Maybe this is why I've been more fatigued by bed time and just completely rack out for 9 hours or more when I can and naps on weekends. I was contributing that to the training, but maybe it's food related too.

I've found myself just throwing junk in my mouth to try and up the calories but I just can't physically eat any more. I'm full. I've never been one to track what I eat, or how much...I just drink lots of water/milk, eat when I'm hungry and try to make sure it's balanced. Maybe this is why I bonked on my first half IM. Good thing I wised up and hired a coach for the full and even better is that I have some time to get a handle on it.

Oh yeah, and I'm loving this rest week! It's done wonders for my mental, physical and emotional well being. Hehe and my laundry is getting put away for the first time in a month.

Blue lights

So Thursday I was taking Ryan to the gym with me then it was off to work. For once in my life, since having my license, I can honestly say that I had broken absolutely no traffic laws since I had left the house. No rolling stops, abiding by the speed limit to a tee, signaling...etc. So I turned on to a small highway and was carrying on about my business when I noticed a local sheriff behind me. He followed me for about a mile, then turned his blue lights on.

"crap, seriously...I wasn't doing anything."
To which Ryan replies "Uh mommy. do you see those blue lights?"
Yes I do buddy.
"Mommy, you're in a HEAP 'a' trouble!" (for those of you who aren't familiar with the movie CARS, my son has seen it too many times.)
"No, mommy is not in trouble, the police man is just going to make sure mommy is being safe." (I had no clue as to why he had pulled me."

"Hello ma'am. My name is office "whatchamacallit" with Apex police. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No I don't."
"Ma'am, your tag is expired. Did you know that?"
"No I didn't." ( you know they stopped putting those stickers on your windshield last year stinking whitie)
"Ma'am, may I see your license and registration please?"
"Sure." As I open the registration, I see the exp. date of 12-31-1009. My heart sank. I suppose he notice the look on my face because his next comment was:
"You really didn't know did you?"
"No sir, I didn't. I'm sorry."
"I'll be right back, let me go run this information."

as he walked away, Ryan says
"Mommy, he took your card. You need that to get in the gym. Put my window down, I will talk to him. I will get your card back mommy. Put my window down."
"ryan, it's okay, he's going to bring it back to mommy. He's just helping mommy to be safe and follow the rules."
"Oh mom, just put my window down. I'll get it back."

Officer returns, with a ticket! Stinking $25 ticket, $130 dollars in court costs, and I have to appear in court to show them documentation that I've fixed the "problem". Dude, I DIDN'T KNOW....CUT ME SOME SLACK!

After sharing this with Tim, he tells me that all his co-workers believe that I got pulled because the cop thought I was cute and then when he realized I had a kid in the car, he had to give me the ticket. Shoot, I could have bought the man a coffee and some doughnuts.

Quick update

We've been extremely swamped around here. Last week we found ourselves having to say good-bye to Tim's grandfather Sam. Thankfully, it was a quick, painless passing for a man that served his country and family very well. All in all, everyone seems to be handling it well, not that it is ever easy. I was on edge all week wondering if Ryan was going to ask about grand-daddy Sam and what I would say so not to turn it into something sad for him. But surprisingly, the only comments my observant 3.5 year old had were at the church service. He heard everyone praying and didn't know the prayer they were saying so he started saying his bedtime prayer. Every time we would pray, he would pray. It was precious in a way he will never understand. Then he asked me about the stain glass picture of Jesus feeding some doves. When he found out that was "baby Jesus" he asked "is this baby Jesus house mommy?" yes it is. " I like his house, it's pretty." I wish I was 3.5 years old again.

On top of a heavy emotional week, training was bumped up for the last two weeks at 13 and 15 hrs. Might not seem like a lot to some of you, but for me, prior to working with Marty, a heavy week for me was 8 hours...so it's physically been a lot. No sleep, emotional turmoil and that much training took it's toll.

Saturday we found ourselves watching daddy at the Umstead trail marathon and trying to nurse him back from a disappointing DNF. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to drop out of a race in 4th place because your body isn't willing to continue, even with proper training. I think everything had taken it's toll on Tim for sure. As a side note, this is one of my greatest fears come September...that despite all the training and nutrition, my body just won't let me finish...somebody better but roller skates on my butt, because if it comes down to that, I'm going to scoot across the finish line.

Then yesterday found Brayden with his 5th case of the croup, 4th since last August. Normally we can't see a difference in his behavior but it's been different this time. He's all out of sorts.

I've found that when these things happen to me, I can "handle it" in my own way. I can reason and get ticked and make changes. I can make it go away and I can dictate how I respond and cope. But when it's someone you love so dearly and all you can do is be there and be willing to listen, it's hard. It's the hardest thing for me to watch Tim or the boys struggle with something, whether it be physical or emotional and not be able to take the pain away. Like I said earlier, I just wish I was 3.5 years old again.