Escape to Edenton

North Carolina that is. Tim and I ran away Friday after work to Edenton, down near the coast. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast called the The Pack House .

It was very nice. The B&B was only about .2 miles from downtown which was riddled with old shops...like a shop just for books (ha a bookstore), a shop just for shoes, a soda shop, a furniture shop, a pharmacy, an appliance store...etc. Hopefully you get the picture. If you walked all the way to the end of the street, you ran into the bay. Little boats were docked, there was a small playground and to top it off, nearly every street corner was equipped with a light pole, a flag and a park bench.

Saturday, we got up, ate breakfast and then headed out for a bike ride. It was a perfect day out; sunny, slight breeze and cool temperatures. It's flat as can be near the coast so we road fast. It was my first bike ride post IM and it felt wonderful. My legs were moving well, only had brief hints on breathing issues as we went over the 1 bridge in that area.

After we got back, it was a lazy day of laying around watching football, walking around downtown and eating. This morning was a nice breakfast and then off to try another run. It was better than the past few, but I think my runs are going to be either on the treadmill or out on the tobacco trail where it's flat until I can get my breathing under control.

The boys were so excited to see us and when we got in the car, the first request was this "mom, can we listen to my B-day song pweaze". Sure Ryan. When the music started Brayden got so excited "Ryan, it's B-day ryan, you hear that it's b-day. Yeah it's B-day mommy"....and this is what comes on the radio

Da na na na na, na na na, da na na na na, da na na na....They told him don't you ever come around here, don't wanna see your face you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are very clear so beat it, just beat.

The chorus is the best when the boys sing. Ryan is actually trying to learn the words now but Brayden still says "Nobody say B-DAY....B-DAY" "Brayden that's not the right words brayden".

It's been a good weekend.

Ironman to Weakman

I should have seen it coming...I mean I practically foretold my future. I think my words were "I don't care how sick I get...blah blah blah." I got sick on Thursday September 16th. It got slightly better after Chesapeakeman, but I never fully recovered. Then Brayden got sick again and so did I. I finally broke down and took some Musinex and Sudafed PE for about 5-6 days. Well I'm still not completely better, I can't get rid of the little glob of mucus that seems to have implanted itself into the back of my throat. Stinkin nagging persistent cold.

I went from making myself not workout for 9 days post IM to being plain lazy. At first it was all I could do to keep myself from working out, to now having to pep myself up to attempt a workout. I've run 3 times since the race. Yesterday was the first run I've had where my knee didn't hurt...apparently I did some damage from all the training and the race. I've also swam 3 times. The first attempt being more like I was swimming in tar, but the last two swims felt really good surprisingly. Well, minus the under water coughs and hacking up mucus between laps. Still no bike.

So let's do the math shall we....3+3=6. A total of 6 whopping workouts since September 25th. Ladies and gentlemen, I might have figured out the fastest possible route to go from the best physical shape of your life to turning into a ball of mush.

I don't think I've completely lost my fitness, but wow, my breathing right now is horrible. I can't get into a comfortable breathing pattern and I'm getting the worst stomach cramps/side stitches I've ever had. I do believe I've walked more in the last 3 runs than I did during that marathon. My legs feel fine running. My arms and breathing feel great in the pool, I just can't put my finger on what is going on.

Is this normal post IM? Several people told me it would take about a month to completely feel "normal" again. Maybe I'm still recovering? Whatever, I actually haven't gained any weight back which shocks me but I feel like a tub of lard. Gotta get off my lazy butt and at least get back into a normal exercise routine.

What would you say?

I just got done watching live video online (with no sound) of the Chilean miners being pulled out....the last 4. Everyone out alive. Watching this was interesting. I'm not a claustrophobic person, but I can't even imagine being stuck underground for over 2 months and then having to get in a cylinder barely wide enough for my body to be pulled out of the earth. The amount of time it took just to get one person up...What must it have been like for the last minor waiting down there for the cylinder to make it's way back down to get him.

I was watching the reactions of the people at the top and it was just so emotional. Some of them were just over joyed by the fact that everyone was safe they couldn't stop smiling. Rightfully so I think. Then there were those who were crying over the cylinder just starting to come out of the earth, while others were still skeptical until their loved one was actually out of the cylinder and in their arms. Mothers or wives so composed for what was going on to their family and then young men putting up a futile battle to hold back tears.

The embraces between these families was intense. So tight, so long and so passionate. Although I'm sure they were not speaking English I wish I could have heard what they were saying to each other. What do you say in that situation? There are really no words that I could think of that would adequately describe my joy and relief.

When I was very young...5-7 years I think, my dad was still in the Navy and going on deployment over seas. He was stationed in Bahrain. I remember hearing that his ship was being bombed (or something of that nature) and didn't understand why mom was so stressed out about it but knew that everyone was worried. I started having dreams about fireballs running through the city chasing people and that my dad got "caught" by a fireball. I would wake up crying but that was really the extent of it. I didn't know the consequence of what I was dreaming.

In high school, dad had a heart attack. My parents woke me up very early one morning to tell me they were going to the hospital but not to worry, they would call me later and just to go to school as normal. I had a volleyball game that night and was told to go and I could come see dad after the game. They had taken him during the day to Raleigh (we were living in a smaller town at the time) and he had surgery. When I got there, the nurse pulled me aside and told me "You can go in the ICU and see him, but he his intubated and on machines still. If you're going to get upset or cry you will need to leave. He can't see you get upset, he needs everyone to be happy".

I walked very bravely and naively into the ICU, like I was made of stone. He was in the bed in straight sight of the door and I immediately felt my insides falling apart. When I walked closer, I was so scared. He was discolored all over, a yellowish tint and there were bandages all over his chest. The intubation tubes seem to swallow his face and he was awake looking around to find everyone. They only allowed 2 at a time back there, so my mom and I were there. I immediately grabbed his hand and he squeezed me so hard and all I could muster was "Yes, we won the game." I managed an "I love you daddy" and felt my eyes watering and the nurse gave me the look. I had to leave.

At that moment I understood mortality in a way I never wanted to. Seeing your father, a person that is supposed to be the rock, the foundation of the family, the tough man that never feels pain, is never weak and has never cried...for him to be lying nearly helpless attached to machines was simply more than I could bare. But a few days later, he's walking, talking, laughing and living, and there was that sigh of relief...the same sigh I saw tonight. The sigh that says "thank you Lord for blessing us with one more day".

I couldn't say anything that day, but if I could go back or even now I would say: you are the one who has shown me how to love, how to be humble, how to work hard, how to value what I have and make something of myself. You have given me a good life and I am forever grateful. I love you more than you will ever know and am glad that I have more time with you.

Phewwww...happy to be alive, happy to have two healthy children that are safe in their bed tonight, happy to have a husband that loves and supports me, happy to have a family that is always there and able to see their grandchildren grow up. We are a blessed family.

What's next for the Gautreaus

Well it's hard to say. Tim is definitely doing a marathon in early December (Charlotte NC) and is now looking at picking up another ultra distance relay in Florida in November. He's also trying to raise money right now for the Blazeman Foundation so that he can race at Eagleman next year. I think he's got two weeks to raise $750. I think he's itching to race competitively again.

Me, I'm feeling anxious. About Tuesday or Wednesday this week (only 4 days post IM) I was already wanting to race again. Nothing long, just wanting to find something short, perhaps a 5K or 10K just to feel fast again...well faster. I feel good this week, no major soreness and no injuries from the race; just healing blistered feet. Then again, I've done absolutely nothing that resembles or requires physical effort this week. I think a nice easy swim and perhaps easy run tomorrow. My winter will probably end up with running and swimming mostly with sporadic long rides on the weekends just to keep a certain level of bike fitness.

Ryan is just beside himself with his new "booster seat" for the car. He's so proud to be the big boy now that he doesn't have to ride in a car seat. He's obsessed with wanting to know when he will turn 5. The number 5 is his favorite number and has been for almost a year now. The number 5 was/is the reason he will run around a track for a mile just to see if the number is still there when he gets back around. Hey, if it makes him sleep I don't mind.

Brayden is jealous and keeps asking when it will be his turn to be big enough for a booster seat. For months Brayden has been sleeping in Ryan's bed. He just got tired of his crib even after we converted it to the toddler bed. He didn't want it. We didn't see an issue with letting them share a bed, and Ryan didn't protest too badly. But we did notice they played more at bed time and woke up earlier due to kicking each other and other contact throughout the night. So we broke down this week and bought Brayden is own "big boy bed". This seems to have made him forget about the booster seat and they are both sleeping much better...which means mommy and daddy sleep much better.