Life in my house

February Fitness Challenge

2012-02-04T13:36:00.002-05:00

So an old high school friend of mine lives in Virginia and is a fitness manager for their local YMCA. She's a little over 1 year post baby no. 2 and it sounds like she's just starting to really get her routine down for exercise. She posted on Facebook that she has challenged herself to workout every day in February.

Now realizing that these sorts of ventures are hard to do when you're doing them alone, I told her I would join her...sort of an accountability thing. I know that it would be easier if we lived in the same town, but no such luck...so virtual workout partners will have to suffice. It seems she's already faced a few challenges due to unexpected family "things", but I think she's still on track...as am I! I believe the key for me will be my definition of exercise. Some days will be hard due to our daily schedule here, so I'm wondering if a hike at the nature park or playing ninja outside with Brayden for 1.5 hrs would count as exercise??? Somebody say yes so I don't feel bad.

Here's how I've done so far:
1st - 3 mile run followed by a body pump class
2nd - 3.5 mile run (and I "hiked" with Brayden around a mile loop trail, there were stairs involved too!)
3rd - 2000 yd. swim
4th - spin class followed by a very slack body pump class

Tomorrow I'm going to try for a "longer" run. So far I'm really only running about 25-35 minutes at a time with a 45 minute run being my longest some time in December. Hopefully I'll be able to get 45-50 minutes in tomorrow. I wish we had a closed track or indoor track at the gym that I could take Brayden to. Then he could ride his bike while I ran and I could keep an eye on him. There's really no track or trail around here set up like that. Since our treadmill is in the garage, I need to lean on Tim to get it fixed so that I can run while Brayden rides his bike or plays.

I've noticed that after each baby, the point at which I start to feel myself again seems to have a correlation to when I start cutting back on the breast feeding. So for the past week or two, I've started to feel better and better. I'm getting more sleep, I'm not exhausted all day, I'm not constantly stuffing my face with food and I'm still staying hydrated. Hopefully within the next few weeks this will prove to be the case and other than time, there won't be anything too big to keep me from fitting a regular workout in.

Settling into a routine

2012-02-01T14:54:00.002-05:00

So now that the holidays are over and Ryan is back in school, we're starting to come into a small routine. I try to do something "educational" with Brayden after Ryan gets on the bus; letters, numbers, writing just to make sure he's getting some sort of exposure. Then it's to the gym for a little mommy exercise and time for Brayden to go crazy in the "jungle gym" with other boys. We don't do that every morning but when we do go it has to be early so that Gabby doesn't hit that wall.

When we're not at the gym we have days for the park, the library story time or at a bounce house if the weather is bad. We've now got soccer on Friday mornings so our days are getting more structured. Time at home is occupied with pretending to be ninjas fighting the "boneheads" and "snakes" from Ninjago, playing freeze tag, hide and seek or riding bikes and going for walks. Our morning are packed.

After lunch, the kids are down for quiet time and that's when I normally get house work and laundry done. Now that I've gotten to a place where I'm "caught up" on those chores though, I don't have to do stuff every day, so it's nice to have a day or two a week that I can chill out, read, watch tv or even nap ;) Afternoons are "free play" so to speak, getting Ryan off the bus and then dinner.

It all sounds so easy and relaxed but it can be slightly hectic on a daily basis. Brayden just has so much energy and our day really all depends on how Gabby is doing with naps and eating whether our days really go smoothly or as planned the night before. I can't complain at all though, I'm having a great time with the kids and can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now. I don't miss working, only a bit of adult interaction; but I am getting to know some of the other at home mommies in the neighborhood with kids our age, so hopefully this should get more social for me as well as the kids.

The other thing I've noticed, is now that I'm getting more quality time with the kids, I'm much more willing to leave for a night out with Tim...I think this makes us both much happier. Life is different but good.

Little Miss Gabby

2012-01-28T19:06:00.004-05:00

Gabby Goo, Miss Queen of the stinky bottoms, Sweetie pie, pretty little goo goo, Gabby Mac...take your pick. They all refer to the same wonderful, beautiful, happy little girl that has taken us all by storm here.

When I look back at pictures of the boys, she could really be Ryan's twin sister in most pictures at similar ages. They've got the same color hair, same hair pattern, same face, same eye color, same ears...spitting image of her older brother Ryan. Every now and then, you can see pictures where she looks like Brayden but for sure it's mostly Ryan.

She's 7 months old next Friday and is full of life. Quick stats: weighing at about 16 lbs now, she's just getting to double her birth weight. At the 6 month check up she was in the 90% height and 43% for weight. She was rolling over at 4 months but until the last week or two, was not doing much else. In the last two weeks, she has mastered being on the hands/knees, sitting up, scooting backwards and finally crawling. A ton of physical milestones in such a short amount of time which explains the interrupted sleep that we've seen lately.

I started baby food at 4 months and she seemed to be doing okay after 2-3 weeks. We had peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears, oatmeal, green beans, squash...then all of sudden she said "no more, just milk please"...so it was back to nothing but bmilk. We did find out that she had a contact allergy to cinnamon but that seemed to be it. So until 2 weeks ago, she really only had milk with the occasional bowl of oatmeal. Now she wants the food, but not the pureed food I was making. She wants table food, crackers, pancakes, soft sweet pt. chunks, soft carrots, peas, and especially butternut squash with pears. She has decided that pureed food is not for her.

All of this is fine with me, I'm all about giving her whatever food she wants. My only concern is that she doesn't have teeth yet. Both boys cut their first teeth at 5 months, so the fact that she's 7 and has yet to show signs of teething is weird for me. She is actually chewing the foods I give her better than the boys did when they first starting eating table food, but I would feel more comfortable if there were some teeth to help out the process of processing food.

All this new introduction of food is great news for me; as I am no longer the only source of nutrition for her and as much as I believe in breastfeeding, I'm glad it's coming to an end. I started the weaning process around mid December and within another month we should be done. I'm glad that we made it this long without formula, since both boys were completely on formula by 4 months old, but I'm ready to feel normal again. And honestly, it's just a lot to try and continue with the hectic nature of 3 little ones.

I'm still so excited about this beautiful little girl and everything that is yet to come from having her in our lives and around the house. She's got everyone of us wrapped around her little piggies and I don't know that we'll ever be able to break free from her loving grasp and heart warming glances. Her smiles would make your heart skip a beat...and I'm loving every minute.

Gabby and Brayden

Ryan's world

2012-01-03T22:05:00.006-05:00

Ryan has been "a late bloomer" in a manner of speaking when it comes to his social skills and personality. He has always been a very sweet, gentle boy with very particular taste (or OCD would be more appropriate), socially withdrawn but very curious. He started to come out a little bit right before Brayden was born but things really did change once he figured out Brayden was not leaving.

Sibling rivalry is very much alive between the two boys, for our attention, food, toys, clothes, toothbrushes and even who gets which cup or plate. We try to get them the same toys and clothes...maybe just different colors and something similar enough to where the other doesn't get jealous but most times it doesn't matter, they argue over it or complain about it anyway.

Since Ryan turned 5 in July, we've seen slow changes, fun changes and welcome changes. It could be the age, it could be that he started school and that environment is fostering the changes and it could be the addition of a little sister. He's definitely learning how to be sarcastic and bossy (not the good changes we like) but he's learning how to laugh and have fun finally. He's such a serious little kid. Christmas day was awesome this year. We set up some hot wheels tracks that attach to the wall in his room. He just kept making funny faces and falling on the ground, dancing, giggling; it was cute to see him be silly.

He continues to be that silent, gentle kid and it's only exaggerated by Gabby. They have a loving relationship. I dare say he will be the one she goes to several years from now when she needs to have the emotional support and listening ear; whereas Brayden will probably be the one to provide her with the fun and craziness that she will need to break loose.

Ryan has unfortunately inherited my need to always win at games. I remember my parents trying to have game nights when we were little and we would always have to stop early because I was throwing a fit about not being in the lead or not winning. Ryan is that kid. If we are playing tag, red light/green light, hide and seek etc. he will stop mid game and just start screaming and crying because he didn't win. We have to stop playing Mario Kart or Mario Land because if he doesn't come in first place after a certain number of tries it results in a severe emotional break down. I guess this stuff is hereditary, because Tim and I have always tried to stress that games are about having fun and trying your best...it doesn't work. If the kid ain't win'n, ain't nobody happy.

At some point when he entered is "terrible twos", "thunderous threes" and "ferocious fours" I forgot why I loved the kid other than he was just my kid. I'm sure other parents out there with kids older than 15-18 months can understand what I mean when I say, I felt like he had turned into the spawn of Satan for a while. But we seem to have come to a fork in the road that has taken us back toward that angel that stole my heart for the first 2 years. I can see that twinkle in his eye and hear the song in his voice again...and I'm absolutely relieved and have fallen back in love with my son; just in time for him to be embarrassed by my hugs and kisses no doubt.

Unfortunately, as he is coming out of the funk....Brayden has fallen farther into it. Oh dear Gabby, please just don't stay in it that phase for long when your turn comes, I'm begging.

Working out with 3

2011-12-13T19:49:00.003-05:00

Nitty gritty:

Ryan - worked out ~6 days/week while pregnant until the week before delivery; good eats; gained 40 lbs. Started working out after 6 weeks postpartum. Took 9 months to get pre-baby body back. Just couldn't lose the weight/inches.

Brayden - worked out 4-5 days/week while pregnant until about 1-2 weeks before delivery; good eats; gained 40 lbs. Started working out 2 weeks postpartum. Took 2.5/3 months to get pre-baby body back. I "probably" over did it trying to get back into shape with this one.

Gabby - worked out 3 days/week while pregnant until the day before delivery; good eats; gained 30 lbs. Started working out ~3 weeks postpartum. Weight is down to pre-pregnancy weight, but I'm not as firm as I was before. Hard to know since I was coming off of IM when I got pregnant (being in that shape then getting pregnant sucked).

I'm managing to workout about 4 days/week right now, but it's just "recreational". A spin class here, a short run there with a body pump class sandwiched in there to aid with getting things toned up. I feel pretty good with my average fitness level right now, I just want everything to tighten up. Realistically though, just getting a workout in is a win given schedules around here.

I asked my OB at the last appointment how long it might take for the stomach skin to tighten up and she sort of laughed at me and said "it depends on your genetics, but realistically it won't. You're fighting age now too." WHAT, I'm not old...okay, I'm older (than I was), but I'm not OLD. "You can use the creams on the market but they are just a money making scheme and don't do anything, and a plastic surgeon is probably going to tell you that the risks outweigh the benefits in your case...you've got a flatter tummy than 97% of women out there post baby...you should be happy." Umm, yeah ok.

I figure my athletic goals are basically on "hold" for about 3-4 years right now, things are just too hectic to be aiming for anything other than good aerobic fitness. Now seeing the stages of life from 0-5 years, when Gabby is 3-4 that should be a decent time with the boys being 8 and 6 and more independent. So I'm just settling into this new stage of life...and really it's not so bad, until you talked to my 16 year old competitive self. I wish she would get herself under control.

How's it been going

2011-12-07T22:26:00.005-05:00

It's been a wild ride the last 5 months! Yep, Gabby is 5 months old; hard to believe. I don't know what I would have done had she been a more difficult baby, it's really the only thing that kept the little bit of sanity remaining in me. But one thing is for sure...3 is not the same as 2. I don't know how many people I had asked before we got pregnant with #3 about how difficult it really was, and the consensus was "oh, adding one more isn't really anything" "not bad at all"...uh wrong answer.

Don't get me wrong, I think by the time you get to the third one, you've pretty much gotten over all of your OCDish, crazy first time parent tendencies and you've relaxed a lot more. So in that regard, maybe you don't feel as overwhelmed about a baby being in the house. One thing I've come to realize is that one child makes you a parent, two gives you perspective and three makes you completely change your strategy. We are out numbered, and whereas having a 5 and 3 year old that are for the most part pretty independent at this point, there is still constant supervision needing to be had around here. The boys are wide open.

When you try to juggle a 5 year old newly in kindergarten, a 3 year old suffering from no longer being THE baby, and a newborn with all that comes with it...well it's just crazy at times. My idea of cleanliness has become way more relaxed than I ever thought it would, and the main goals to accomplish by the end of the day are: full bellies, no broken bones, as few meltdowns as possible and quality time.

A few years ago I posted about difficulties I had with postpartum depression with both the boys. So this was actually a real concern after this pregnancy. "They" say that you are more prone to develop ppd if you have previously experienced it and that it gets more severe each time. Given how bad it was after Brayden, we were prepared this time and more aware than ever of what sets it off and precautions to take to avoid it. It was a huge relief at my 6 week check up when they gave me the survey that I only scored a 2 or 3 out of 10...10 being ppd.

I started back to work after 6 weeks at 30 hrs/week, which is the schedule I had from about 6 months into the pregnancy until I left to deliver. It was hard. It was the first time I had to put one of the kids in daycare before their 1st birthday and seeing her there with kids that were all 3 months older than her broke my heart. Dealing with that on top of the stress from work was starting to add up. I was a team lead over 8 people for a drug safety team and it was just a lot to deal with.

So about a month ago, I went to the doctor when I started feeling the change come over me. I retook the ppd survey and scored a 7 out of 10. They told me I had triggered on the anxiety/stress questions and that they didn't think it was really depression at that point, but I got a good talking to about things I needed to try to do to keep it from getting worse. I walked out with a prescription for medication and found myself crying in the car on the way home. We had been so careful to keep this from happening and here it was smacking me in the face again. Why on earth?

So in the end, the solution ended up being me quitting my job. Now, there were other reasons that made this the right move, but this was certainly a contributing factor. This time, there is no "part-time" or "from-home"...it's just me at home with Brayden and Gabby. I'm admittedly a little scared, but very excited. In my head I think, "what do I do all day with them". But I've already started to make a schedule. Unfortunately, not much can be done right now because of the holidays, but by January we'll be set. Swim classes, story times, parks, maybe find a play group. The best thing, I get to volunteer one day a week in Ryan's room at school. I went this week and had a blast. The look on his face when I got there was priceless and hearing him whisper to his friends "that's my mommy, see I told you my mommy was coming...she's my mommy". It just made me know that this was the right move for us.

I take nothing away from a woman that can juggle being a wife, mother and a full time employee...in fact being a wife/mother are a full time job within itself. But indeed, adding a third child proved to be the straw that broke this camel's back. When I was at work, I was preoccupied with thoughts of the kids, Tim and the house...and when I was at home, I was preoccupied with what needed to be done at work. I just didn't feel like I was doing anything to the best that I could. I'm very lucky that I have an understanding and supportive husband and that we are financially in a place that we can afford it.

So I've been at home now since Thanksgiving and my stress level has dropped tremendously. The house is taking a while to get organized since it was just a mess from 5 months of neglect, Gabby is still a gem and just getting so big and nearly mobile (yikes), Brayden is loving the 1 on 1 time he's getting now (which is helping his middle child syndrome to chill) and Ryan seems happy.

Life is good in my house, or at least getting better and back on track.

Just a Quickie

2011-11-22T20:08:00.014-05:00

So this is what's keeping me busy these days. Hard to get out of bed when you're snuggled up next to this in the mornings. And just a few more pics of Gabby. She's such a great baby. Following both brothers, sleeping very well and always a smile on her face! Makes it a little easier with 3.The boys are loving life and enjoying their little sister. Ryan started kindergarten in August and is adjusting well. Brayden is just a crazy kid.

Slacker 101

2011-08-02T10:52:00.003-04:00

This is just a quick post to say that Gabrielle Mackenzie Gautreau was born on 03 July at 12:24 pm. She was 8lbs and 19 inches long with a head full of black hair and dark blue eyes. So far she is a wonderful baby, very laid back and easy. The boys have taken to her very well.

It's been surprisingly easy adding her to the family but our days are pretty tight, so I'm really strapped for free time currently. I'll give a better post with pictures soon!

39 Weeks - Restless

2011-06-23T20:14:00.002-04:00

I really have no words. Im sure that most women understand being this far along in a pregnancy, this late in the summer is not comfortable physically, much less when emotionally and mentally you are just toast. Needless to say I had convinced myself that this pregnancy would end early as the other two did, but no such luck.

If I have to answer somebody looking at me and asking "You haven't had that baby yet?" one more time "Nope, sure haven't". I'm going to scream. I have nothing else to say. I'm just tired. There has been no progress physically in the last 3 visits. I'm at a loss. I thought that your body progresses more quickly with subsequent pregnancies, so it blows my mind that I'm 39 weeks I'm not even as far along as I was with pregnancy No. 1 at 37 weeks.

Who knows. I have actually run 3 times in the last 10 days, in addition to numerous times on the elliptical. The running actually felt good during and there was only minor stiffness in the pelvic floor afterward. It's extremely slow, and I'm sure some Olympic speed walkers could pass me, but I'm calling it running anyway. But apparently it didn't really help anything along so who knows if I'll do it again.

My next appointment is next Tuesday and my due date is next Thursday. I'm beyond ready for this baby to make it's way into our world, as are the boys. Ryan told me today he was excited for the baby to come out now. Please baby, listen to your older brother; I don't think he will be excited too long so we need to take advantage of this opportunity!

Eagleman is here- 37 weeks

2011-06-10T14:38:00.004-04:00

I remember when I posted in Nov/Dec 2010 that I was pregnant again that we were worried I would go into labor while at Eagleman for Tim...well Eagleman is here. And where am I? Literally? Right now I'm driving in the car on the way to Cambridge, still pregnant.

I'm very excited about this race for Tim, although my o.b. office is less than happy with my decision to travel "more than 1 hour away". Oh well. My response is this: hospitals in Maryland are just as capable in delivering babies as my hospital in Cary. Shoot, there are still women in Africa that go into the woods, squat, push and go back to picking berries..or something like that. I think we'll be ok. The only thing that sucks is having to stop every 1.5 hours...errr, turns a long trip into a LONG trip.

Last week at my 36 week visit, the midwife I saw absolutely scared the crap out of me. She told me I was measuring small and had been measuring small for the last 3 visits. "Didn't they tell you?" Uh, no they didn't. So what are you thinking? What is the issue? "Well, could just be a small baby, oh never mind...you have big babies." "Could just be that you are hiding the pregnancy well or could be not enough fluid in the uterus or could be the baby isn't growing well. Monitor your movements and if it decreases, we may need to do an ultrasound."

I freaked out. I'm a worrier, I'm an anxious person. Tim often says that he leaves the worrying to me because I do enough for everyone in the family. So I didn't sleep all last weekend. Up all night, poking the belly "move baby, move for mommy." Nothing. I was a wreck. So I called Monday morning and they brought me in for monitoring. I was hooked up for over 1.5 hours before the main dr. (Dr. V) said, "not the most active baby, but I've seen enough to let you go for now. Make sure to schedule the ultrasound for tomorrow." Will do.

Tuesday, US showed normal growth range, normal fluid, normal everything except for a slightly small head size (and ladies you know we don't mind that at all, right!). So Dr. confirmed what us technician saw and said we just have a smaller baby this time. Although I laugh to think this baby will be small... experience tells me we probably just have a long, lanky baby, but I'm no dr. or us tech.

So at nearly 37 weeks, I have not progressed anywhere close to where I was with either Ryan or Brayden and this one dropped about 3 weeks ago. The only difference I can see is that my exercise has been extremely less this time than before. So perhaps it is true, that the exercise really does help your body prepare. Dang fatigue, two kids, full time job, house and other crap that has kept me from working out as much. I better not go to term with this one, I won't know what to do with myself.

Desperate Mommy to Mission control

2011-06-04T10:01:00.005-04:00

I've been wondering if the potty gods had been listening to me for the past 4-5 months or not. I honestly believed that potty training Brayden would be so much easier since he had both Ryan and Tim to model himself after. Peer pressure of sorts. Well, he has proven to be just as difficult as Ryan was.

We started potty training Ryan at 3, a bit late now that I look back at it, but he had a lot of emotional adjustment after Brayden was born so it didn't seem like the right time to force the issue at 2 years old. By the time Ryan was 3.5 we were potty trained and only wearing a pull up at night for the occasional accident that would occur. I'd say that 8 months after starting we were out of pull ups at night all together. He's only had a few accidents since then.

So with Brayden, I wanted to start him at 2.5 years. We waited a little longer than that, he was about 2 years 9 months. The peeing part was relatively easy to get him used to. A lot of reminding him to go but getting him to stand up was a breeze because he likes going with Ryan. They have their "boy time" around the potty. Except for Ryan trying to tell Brayden he has to "point it up" the first time, we're doing well.

Pooping, a completely different story. Oh my dear. It was also Ryan's downfall, but he would at least sit on the potty and try. Brayden just screams. Regardless of song singing, bribes, whether he has to go or not. My goal was to have him potty trained before no. 3 got here. In conjunction with his strong will not to cooperate, is my very high hormone level with this pregnancy as compared to the others. I'm just not so patient at all this time around. It's killing me.

After numerous conversations with Brayden that he doesn't need to go in his pants or he needs to tell us when he's had an accident, I was beginning to wonder if he just didn't understand the "pooping feeling" so to speak. I'll share a quick story that some of you that follow on face book may have read about. I was getting things out of our car and Brayden had walked to the door in the garage. He had let the dog in the garage and was sitting by the steps leading to the house talking to the dog. All of a sudden I hear the house door shut and Bowden (the dog) comes around the back of the car. I start walking to the door and Bowden stops dead in his tracks, lifting up his front leg and turning around to look at me as if to say "ewww yuk, not me". I looked down and there were two piles of poop sitting at the bottom of the steps. When I asked Brayden if he pooped on the garage floor his reply "Well yeah, but it wasn't in my pants."

So now, I know he realizes the feeling, he's just playing games. So that day I stopped talking about it. At day care, his teacher told me to start sending him in underwear; so I did. And I found that he will take himself at daycare without a reminder and no accidents. Still no pooping but peeing we're there. Are you hearing me potty gods, please help. I need this child to be mostly potty trained by the time this new addition gets here, for my own sanity, please.

Then it happened. Last night. Tim said "Brayden, did you just poopy in your pants?" "No, I just passed gas". Check of underwear showed no poop. Me: "Brayden let's go sit on the potty please so we don't have an accident". The screaming and crying and stomping commenced. I sat him down, was going to try singing songs but that got him more upset. "Brayden, just try to push some poopy out, we're going to sit on the potty for a while, you can't get up until you try." More crying, more "No poopy, there is no poopy."

Tim came in there, and bribed with food/drink, toys whatever. And then the heavens opened up. In the middle of Tim saying "buddy we'll give you whatever you want if you just...." Tim shut up, he's pushing. And viola, poopy in the potty! There was a massive celebration. Bigger than Garner when what's his name just won American Idol. We went to the store and he got to pick out a "poopy present" which ended up being a green sword. And the rest of the night brought "I'm so proud of you" and "You're such a big boy" and "That makes me so happy".

Now here's to hoping this wasn't just a one time deal and he'll actually try to do it again. Work with me potty gods, work with me, pretty please with sugar on top?!!! We've got somewhere between 1 and 4 weeks left to get this mostly done.

Check list

2011-05-27T20:38:00.002-04:00

35 week check list:

Crib/bassinet put back together- check
Baby's room clean - mostly check
Baby toys/equipment washed - check
Baby bottles washed - check
Food cooked and frozen - check
House clean - check
Baby supplies - mostly check
Fork lift needed to turn over in bed - check
New car with 3rd row seat - check
Work issues wrapped up and passed along - check
Sudden busts of energy - check
Physical signs of advancing - definitely check
Braxton Hicks - definitely for a while now
Ryan and Bradyen ready - check
Mommy ready - check

Tim ready - not yet
Early registration for hospital - Not yet
Waddle - not yet, but slow starts and a definite sway
Internal progression: To be checked next week

Will it really take 5 more weeks to get the last 4 checked? Hmmmm....

The Countdown Begins

2011-05-21T20:11:00.003-04:00

Or continues, I'm not sure which. I think I started counting down around 10 weeks out. This pregnancy, I consistently gained weight from the time I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks until week 30. Even having been through it twice before and understanding it all, I was getting a little worried that I would tip the scales this go around...or break them I should say.

But miraculously from 30 to 32 weeks, no weight gain. From 32 to 34 weeks, no weight gain. Now let's just play a game for a minute. Hmmm, pregnancy number 1 (Ryan). I gained 40 lbs with ~ 6-7 hours of aerobic activity/week and healthy eating. Other than Tim always taking me to Coldstones and the Frosty craving...I was a good girl. He was head down since 32 weeks and dropped around 33 weeks. I went for my 37 week visit, I had lost 2 lbs from the previous visit and went into labor that night at midnight.

Pregnancy #2 (Brayden). I gained 35 lbs with ~4-5 hours of aerobic activity a week and was really a good eater. I didn't really splurge often with him, just a bunch of spicy food. I was 3cm and 80% effaced since week 32 and was certain I would go as early as I did with Ryan because of these facts. Until they informed me that "no your body just prepares a lot more quickly with subsequent pregnancies". And how true that really is now that I've had a chance to experience a third pregnancy is all I will say on that front. I went for my 38 week visit with no weight gain, and at the 39 week visit had lost 1 lb and went into labor the next morning. Brayden never dropped before or after labor started.

Pregnancy #3 (Gavin or Gabrielle not sure yet): I have currently gained 30 lbs with ~ 3 hours of aerobic activity/week. I have been a superior eater this time, until recently and now just can't kick the sweet craving. Keeping a full time job, a house, two kids and a husband with being pregnant just doesn't allow for such foolish things like working out every day. I have just under 6 weeks to go till the due date and for a month now have not gained weight.

Now when you do research, they say that weight gain stopping or a weight loss can often indicate impending labor. I am not so foolish as to think that I may go into labor 6 weeks earlier, only that maybe I gained all my weight early with this one and now that little person is just surviving on the fat stores I created early on.

I'm tired. The weight and size of the baby has definitely hit me and my movements have slowed down. I'm nesting some sort of awful right now. Cleaning, sorting, pacing, cooking/freezing, and even freaking out a little over the change that is about to be ours. But for the first time too, I'm getting excited over this pregnancy. We've had too much going on this year for me to really even notice that I'm pregnant and actually enjoy it like I could the other two. But I think we are all ready to meet this new person. Brayden especially..."mommy, is the baby gonna climb out yet?"

Come on baby, time to climb out.

Birthdays

2011-05-15T21:25:00.002-04:00

In our family, April-July is birthday extravaganza. It is kicked off on 25th April with my sister, then May is the highlight...09th if my mom, 10th is Brayden, 14th is Tim's dad and the 26th is Tim. June will soon be baby #3 and then July is met with 03rd for Tim's mom, 26th for my dad and the 27th for Ryan. It's wild and crazy...especially when you throw in mother's day and father's day. I can't keep up with it all.

Growing up, birthdays were a family thing. Not that I didn't have birthday parties that involved friends, because I did have plenty that way. But the focus was family time. Perhaps it's because we didn't live near any family but whatever the reason that's the way it was. Low key and nice. We were never really a family of over exaggerating things or bringing attention to ourselves; I guess my lesson in humility was learned at an early age.

So for the first few years for both Ryan and Brayden, their birthday parties were simply a gathering of the grandparents and a few other family members. Nothing elaborate, just a homemade cake and ice cream and presents at the house. When Tim and I moved into the house where we are now, 2 years ago, that changed. I don't know if it was the "peer pressure" of our neighborhood or what.

Last year, for Ryan's 4th birthday, we went a little crazy. All he wanted was Muddy the Mudcat (local AAA baseball mascot) and the "Dancing Man" from our races. We produced both, had every kid from the neighborhood (about 15) plus a few school friends and some work friends. We ordered pizza, sprinklers and mad craziness outside. Of course we did this at the house and I was high strung and crazy about the mess and people in the house. Ridiculous.

For Brayden this year, his 3rd birthday; we rented a little indoor play place and did pizza and cupcakes but only invited kids from school. Fewer people and not at my house so less stress but higher cost. Again, just ridiculous.

When you take into account their age, let's think about how truly insane this is. They will never remember these birthdays in the long run and would probably be just as happy at a playground or at home with a few friends. Why don't we save the big bashes for the older years when they have something they are really interested in? Because we feel the pressure of giving our children more than we had, the "go big or go home" theory I suppose.

'Keeping up with the Jones'" Well, dang the Jones'. Because not only am I succumbing to the pressure of where we go and what we do for a birthday, as if it somehow validates how good a parent we are, but we are now charged with the policy of supplying other children with presents at these parties so that they don't feel "left out". What is that about? I don't remember people giving me presents when I showed up for their birthday party when I was young. It was "tough crap" it's not your birthday, get over it if your feelings are hurt, it's not about you, it's about them. But again, that's the standard now.

The standard: over spend on some crazy "venue", presents, food, number of people and then buy those ~20 other kids a present. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's cheaper and more beneficial to go to somebody else's party. You only spend 20 bucks on a present, get free food, a tired child and a present for your kid. Now that's what I'm talking about. Okay, I think we've paid our dues for "dumbness" for trying to be like the people next door, next year, we're back to simple.

Nights Out

2011-05-05T21:41:00.002-04:00

When you go from single/dating to being married and then married with children, something happens. Or it least it did for Tim and I. Like a slow change from every night being "our night" to struggling to find a night that belongs only to us.

Even before the boys came along, a small transformation started; we stopped going out on dates as often because we were always around each other. We got comfortable. Then Ryan was born, and as a new mom, I found it hard to leave him. Even going to the grocery store without him was hard at first. So dates became even more rare. Nights were spent either resting or doing something with Ryan.

And then Brayden joined the family. This definitely changed the family dynamic. We saw the need Ryan had to still have his one-on-one time, so we made a change. With the help of my parents, who agreed to watch each boy for 1 night each week, we were able (and still maintain) to implement special nights every week for each boy to have one-on-one time with Tim and I. Great for them, but still leaving little time for us to do stuff alone. It wasn't for a lack of offers for people to watch the boys, but again me feeling guilty about already having taken time away from them and not wanting to take more time on the weekends. But I see the difference this makes with Ryan. He really enjoys getting us all to himself, understandably so. He was first, he was used to nobody else but him. Brayden enjoys the time too, but he will often ask for Ryan before the night is over.

So now that baby no. 3 is actually becoming a reality and not just a thought in the back of our mind, again we find ourselves in a position of trying to figure out how we will get our night out.

I'm wondering if it will be impossible once the baby is born for us to continue one night each week for each boy. I guess we could do a weekly rotation. Ryan gets a night week 1, Brayden week 2, baby #3 week 3 and then Tim and I week 4. I'm a little worried about how it will all pan out, if not how it will pan out, just how long it will take to actually get into that new routine that satisfies everyone's need for a night out and time alone...you know the time and attention you need to fill your tank.

To be honest, I don't think my tank would be half as full as it is if it weren't for Tim's persistence in us getting our time. He's pretty good about noticing when it's been too long and actually planning something for us to do, if only for a night. I think I need my night.

Over 31 weeks down

2011-04-29T23:08:00.002-04:00

So I had to stop running at 25 weeks with this pregnancy. I had my last run in the mountains of West Virginia while Tim and I were at Greenbrier. Tim took the "up the mountain" trail and I stuck to the golf course run course. It was a nice winding 4 mile run, but I knew when it was over that I was done for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I was just altering my run form too much to compensate for the weight gain/distribution. My calves and achilles were killing me during and after the run for the next day. I'm certainly about trying to stay fit while I'm pregnant, but injuring myself long-term in order to stay fit is just stupid. So after talking with Tim about it, we decided it best that I stop running.

So that was a little more than 6 weeks ago and it didn't bother me much because I could still spin, swim and do the elliptical. Well, swimming although it feels good on the body/joints, makes me feel like a whale when I put my swim suit on, and the elliptical is sort of boring, but I manage both infrequently. But the spinning, that I can do like 4 days a week.

Until this past week, I was still spinning comfortably on the spinners at the gym with no real aerobic difference or issues with the fit on the bikes. Almost over night, that changed. This past week, my pelvis seems to have moved in such a way that sitting on the seat for more than 3-4 minutes causes major discomfort and lower back pain. On top of that I've got the handle bars as high as they can go and it's getting hard to use them due to some huge growing mass around my mid section. I have to say though that I still managed a 75 minute and 1hr.45 min spin class this week.

Overall, I'm finding that I much less focused on exercise this pregnancy. I don't know if it's the reality of time, family, energy...or if I'm just at that point of "it is what it is" and no matter what I do it won't change the fact that I will gain weight, I will not be as fit as I was and it will get back to normal afterward. And that is OK. Or at least I keep telling myself that. Truth is, I'm still bothered by it somewhat, but heck, I'm not super woman and I don't want to try to be anymore.

What's that you said?

2011-03-16T21:02:00.003-04:00

Holy crap, it's been 2 months since my last blog post...I guess things got busy around here. In fact, my Internet time, when not at work, is limited to maybe 30 minutes a week these days. Too much to do. I'm 2 months out from the due date, but Tim and I are still plotting every ER/hospital from here to Cambridge for Eagleman...

So here's some funny and surprising things I've heard since the last post:

Funny/Cute
Ryan: Mommy, how are you going to get that baby out of your tummy?
Me: Well?, a doctor is going to help mommy push it out.
Ryan: Um, since you don't have a penis, how are you going to push it out?
Me: Uh? Well? Hmmmm...
Ryan: I guess you got some pipes in there to help, huh?
Me: Exactly.

Ryan:Where is daddy tonight?
Me: He's out playing poker with his friends.
Ryan: Is he at is boyfriends house?
Me (laughing hysterically)...yes, yes he is.

Brayden:When can I play with the baby?
Me: A few more weeks buddy.
Brayden: well let's dance now (as he tries to shake my belly vigorously)

Not so funny
Co-worker: You sure are looking pretty hippy Angela.
Me: ??? (blank stare)
Co-worker: Girl, your hips are spreading

Side not to above- Tim laughed at this thinking they were calling me a hippie and not that my hips were getting wide. Still not funny. I don't care if you are a woman and have kids or if you are a friend, you don't call attention to the changing body parts of a pregnant woman...your line should always be "You look great"

Co-worker:Wow, that got big over the weekend.
Me: thanks.

Dr.: you shouldn't be concerned about your weight gain, it's normal and we're not concerned.
Me: but I'm eating healthy, not a lot and exercising...I don't understand (yes even after 3 I don't get it)
Dr: well you are a big girl to begin with
Me:???? with a "oh no you didn't just say that" stare
Dr.:a taller girl is what I meant, and you have big babies, so don't worry about it

Nurse: It's nice to see a woman with a nice butt to grab onto
Me: What?!
Nurse: well normally the pregnant women I get in here for this shot are like little toothpicks...you got some good meat on you girl, your husband must like that.
Me: well I guess so since this is the third (said a little uncomfortably)
Nurse: (still grabbing my @$$ and shaking it) Yeah, that's nice, real nice.
Me: Can I pull my pants up now.
Nurse: I just need to work this medicine in a little more
Me: I think I can take care of that, thanks.

Note: the above was during an office visit to get my rhogam shot. The other two pregnancies they let me get this shot in my arm, but for some reason she insisted on putting this one in my buttocks. Not a fan, not a fan at all.

Flu infected house and running

2011-02-26T19:52:00.003-05:00

So Ryan was the first to catch it, about 3 weeks ago. We thought it was a common cold and by the time we took him to the doctor, it was too late to give him tamiflu...poor guy had to suffer through it some kind of awful for about a week.

Next was Tim, it knocked him down for about 4 days or so that same week that Ryan was sick. From Tim it moved to Brayden. We saw it day 1 and were at the dr. office and managed a prescription for Tamiflu. It was amazing the difference it made. He was still sick, but it wasn't the bed ridden horrible mess that Ryan and Tim had. All the while, I was pounding my prenatals, B complex and Emergen-C. On top of that I was trying to stay "away" from them all, but it's hard when all they want is mommy when they are sick...and how do you say "no".

So we were two weeks into the infected house and I was still "healthy"...that was Saturday night. Sunday morning, I woke up not feeling completely normal but still ok by my standards. Then Monday morning rolled around and I knew it had gotten to me. I tried to go to work and I managed all of 2.5 hours of work before I just looked at my manager and said "I have the flu, I need to go home". Yes, please leave...and I was walking away from my desk (no more than 5 steps mind you) I heard the Lysol can being sprayed.

When I got home, Tim was there with Brayden. I just went upstairs and zonked out; dr. wouldn't let me take anything but extra strength tylenol to control fever. I was a zombie for two days straight, well really for 5 days straight but at least I got out of bed after two days. So it moved into the chest and sinuses and I've been battling that for a week now. I actually disinfected the house so hopefully this crap is gone from us.

I've tried working out sporadically and it does seem to help to move the mucus out it just drains me physically. I've felt a ton better for a couple of days so I told Tim we should do this local 5K this morning. It was nice to be outside in the fresh air. So I'm sitting in the back of the crowd just chugging along at my easy pace. Baby wasn't cooperating initially, just decided to position itself really low in the pelvis and it was very uncomfortable. After about 1/2 mile, the baby moved position and my pelvis didn't feel like it was about to rip in half, so that made the rest of the run mostly comfortable. I actually came across right at a 10 min/mile; I was very surprised at that. It felt like I was doing about 12 or 13/mile.

Post run, things are a little tight and tender for the first few steps, but overall it feels good. I started wearing this belly band thing I found at Motherhood. I wish I would have know or found this thing during the first two pregnancies. It's made a world of difference with the running. It keeps they belly from bouncing too much and gives the back some extra support....it has even helped with the incontinence issue I was having previously from running.

So 22 weeks in and everything is going well. Aside from one irregular urine screen which led to an early and extra glucose test, things are going well. I'm over the hump and we're going to be so busy now that Tim is "in race season" that the last 18 weeks should fly by.

Dinner Conversations

2011-02-19T21:42:00.002-05:00

I realize the last two post are about conversations, but geez, out of the mouth of babes I suppose. Usually our dinner conversations, when we all eat together, consist of "how was your day", "what did you talk about at school", "you need to sit down while you eat", "don't poke your brother with your fork", "if you're playing that means you're done"....those sorts of things.

And the responses that follow are very simple "good, busy", "friends, the letter 'R'", "I am sitting", "he poked me first" or "I'm done".

Truth be told, and I'm embarrassed to admit this, especially knowing how I was raised where family dinners were so important and regular...but we hardly ever have family dinners. One of us is either working, the other is making dinner on the fly, we're not even home, or if we are the kids are eating while we are cleaning up or working. We are victims to our own busy schedules. It's something that needs to change I know, but it just hasn't yet. No excuses.

Well tonight, Brayden was asking his usual "more please". The kid can honestly eat more than I do in a day. As I tell him to finish what's on his plate first, he starts crying because he dropped part of his dinner on the floor and the dog (Bowden) ate it. "Bowden, you give that back to me now."

Brayden, he can't give it back. He ate it.
"Mommy, he can give it back, he doesn't have a belly to put it in."
Well, where does food go then when he eats it?
"He pees it out"
So where does food go when you eat it?
"To my belly, then I pee."
So Bowden doesn't have a belly?
"No, no belly."

I never knew...mouth to pee with one bite. If only. Maybe we should be having more family dinners to discuss such things in more detail.

Morning conversations

2011-02-13T10:11:00.003-05:00

Well we're a week into this flu at our house, so Ryan and Tim have both had it and are recovering now and yesterday marked Day 1 for Brayden. Luckily we got him to the doctor in time to get some Tamiflu. I've been unusually tired lately so I was hoping that the boys would sleep late since they are both still not feeling well.

I was wrong. At 6:45, they come marching into our room wanting orange juice and to crawl in bed. Ryan cozied up next to Tim, Brayden laid next to me and they both acted as if they would fall back asleep. After what I wished was more than 60 seconds the conversation began at a barely audible volume....a very soft whisper then slowly turning into a shouting match. That's very typical for our house unfortunately. The loudest is the best, or so they think.

Ryan: hey brayden, are you sick now too?
Brayden: Yeah, daddy took me to the doctor and I got medicine....Ryan is those spaceships on your pjs?
Ryan: Yeah, spaceships that glow. I hope you don't get sick like me...that was yucky sick.
Brayden: Yucky sick! Ewww, but I got medicine
Ryan: Well I took medicine and it made me more sick.
Brayden: More Sick? Ryyyaaannn. OH No. I don't want more sick.
Ryan: Yeah like this "BBLLLAAAHHHHHHHH...WOOOOSSHHHH....ARRRRRGGGGG"
Brayden: UH OH, I don't like that.
Mommy: Boys, let's keep it quiet please. We don't need to yell.
Ryan and Brayden (in unison): OK, mommy, we'll try
Ryan: Brayden we have to be quiet so we can sleep
Brayden: No, it's wake up time it's not sleep time....SEE I SHOW You the SUN.

At that point it was a lost cause, just get up...go down stairs and make pancakes. It was wake up time for goodness sake.

Motivated to Ride

2011-02-06T10:04:00.003-05:00

Well, truth is that I've never gotten back to my "normal" exercise routine since the IM and through the first 1/2 of this pregnancy, but you know what the motivation is now to get out of this house and head to the gym for a 2hr spin class....

A germ infested house. Ryan and Brayden have been little snot factories for about 2 weeks now, and it's come to a head with ryan this morning. His fever is 101, tummy hurting, eyes red and watery, red ears, shaking from lack of food because he's not hungry and feeling cold. Yup, I've done the mommy job all morning and before I get another cough or sneeze in the face, I need to get out of here for some "normal" sweaty, musty air at the gym. I suppose the increased surface area of my thighs should also be motivation but whatever.

At the same time, I'm watching Brayden wipe yellowish snot across his face and I'm listening to Tim constantly suck snot back into his body. My super vitamins are only super to an extent. I need a germinator in here. I need to bleach every surface of this house and send them all away for a week.

Errggg, I feel bad for my boys but good grief if I get sick I'm going to loose my mind. I'm already dealing with a nose that is forever stuffy and a scratchy throat. Time to spin this mess out of my body.

And the results are in...

2011-01-31T22:20:00.006-05:00

Well, I have to admit that this pregnancy has had we worried from day 1. It was hard to tell in the first 2 months what was going on. The fatigue, the nausea...both "normal" but worse than the previous 2 pregnancies. Then came abdominal cramping and bleeding...nothing that I experienced with Ryan or Brayden. So I was freaked out, called the nurse crying because I thought I was having a miscarriage.

I started having a lot of issues with my blood sugar being low, being extremely dizzy and just feeling weak. I contributed most of this to getting pregnant so soon after IM but I just didn't know. The ultrasound at 9 weeks was "normal" and the heart beat was strong (135 or so). But again, that worried me because everybody says 140 and up is normal and both boys were high (Ryan high 160s and Brayden right at 160).

I started feeling "normal" or actually more like I had with the first two pregnancies around 12-13 weeks..right on schedule right? But then I felt the baby move for the first time around 14 weeks. It's funny how much sooner you feel it after the first pregnancy because you know what it is. Ryan I didn't feel until about 18 wks, Brayden around 15-16 weeks and now this one even sooner. Although I told the dr. it was probably just gas...I didn't want her thinking I was crazy.

With both boys, once I felt them move the first time, it was nonstop until they were born. There was never any doubt they were there or any need for that "kick count" tracking in the third trimester. They were there and they let me know all day...kidneys, stomach, ribs, spleen, bladder, heck sometimes it even felt like they were kicking my throat. But this time...not so much. I feel movement maybe once a day or every other day...it's unsettling almost.

I was so worried last week when we went to the 18 wk ultrasound. But again, all baby's measurements, baby's weight and heart rate (137) and uterus measurement were still "normal". There is just no explanation other than this one is just not a mover I suppose. One explanation they gave for the lack of movement was how low the baby is in the uterus. There's plenty of room in there as my uterus is up to my belly button already, but baby is staying nice and cozy with back firmly planted on my pelvic floor, below my pelvic bone.

For the first time in 3 pregnancies they did however come back with an abnormal urine test last week, which could explain a few things. And they are having me take the glucose test at 20 weeks and 26 weeks this time instead of just the 26 week test. The only explanation I was given was since diabetes was in my family, they should screen earlier...but they didn't do that the first two pregnancies and this is the same practice I've been to all three times. So is there reason for stress or worry, I don't think so...things are just different this time. Not harder or bad, just different.

Tim and I opted out of finding out the sex this time. We probably did it backwards from most, finding out the first two then not this time...but we just wanted to be surprised this time. It's definitely the last time we do this...so why not? Does all of this mean I think it's a girl. I don't know. Sometimes I think "most definitely", then other days I drift back to the idea that is probably just a laid back little boy...after all I have two already...so odds would probably say boy.

The only thing I am sure of is that they say baby is healthy right now, and that's all that matters.

2 days and couting

2011-01-16T18:49:00.002-05:00

I'm so excited! Wednesday morning at 8:25 am, I will be boarding a plan to California to visit my sister. Her and her husband have lived near San Fransisco since my senior year of college, so we don't get to see each other much; I think it's worked out to about once/year. So it was actually a great treat when they got to come watch me at the IM in Maryland and now I'm getting to see her so soon again afterward.

Being the insightful person that she is, when she found out I was pregnant again, she almost immediately said "you're gonna need time away to chill out...why don't we get together for a long weekend." Cool. Well the plans to meet somewhere neutral didn't really pan out, but then she told me that some friends of hers would let us use their place in Sonoma.

I'm flying out Wednesday morning and staying until Sunday. The thing I love about spending time with my sister is uneventful it is, not in a bad way. It's just that there is no pressure to go sight see or do things, just sit around, talk and relax. We'll probably go out a few times but mostly just hanging out and sleeping a lot. To top it all off, her husband will not be there. He has his own "boys weekend" that he is going to participate in. Not that I mind him being around, but it will just be great girl time. Hmm, that sounds odd considering my sister and I aren't really girly girls, but female time is always needed and appreciated. I'm out numbered right now, way too much testosterone in the house.

I've already got some mommy guilt about leaving Tim with the boys because I know it will impact his training a little and I know it's going to be a lot of work for him. But there's a larger part of me that realizes that I need this break right now. I'm so stressed out and tired and it's affecting my attitude. So 5 days away is probably beneficial for everyone right now. Truth be told, it would probably be a good idea for us to plan another trip away around May before the baby gets here....just a sneaking suspicion that one last break is warranted before another big change, to collect thoughts and gather patience.

I've already gotten comments from co-workers though "what a waste, you're going to Sonoma and can't event drink..I should go for you." Uh, no you shouldn't and bite your tongue people! I'm sure there is plenty else to do for people that choose not to partake in a "tour of wine country". For now, I'm excited for 60 degree weather and sunshine, sleeping as long as I want, no cleaning, no cooking, no responsibility, and no work. Ahhh....2 more days to go.

Just feeling normal and then maybe not so much. (Pregnancy related issues this post)

2011-01-04T21:47:00.005-05:00

I can't say that any of my first trimesters have been bad, because truth be told they have all been pretty mild compared to most women I talk to. But I can definitely say that this time has been the worst of the three. Tons of things contributed to that I suppose, being sick with a virus, IM recovery, 2 little ones already running around, 2 dogs, a full time job, a full time husband and other various part-time activities. I definitely had the worst nausea and fatigue and then just random "icky" feeling this time.

It started around week 6 and I thought it was done around week 9, but now that I'm at 15+ weeks, I can tell it lasted longer. It was only really last week that I felt good enough to do more than 2 days of exercise. I actually worked out 5 days last week, 1 of which was the Resolution run 5K. It's amazing how much better I feel just having been able to get some physical exercise in. Really, it's amazing how much more normal I feel. I mean the highlight of my week this week was being able to say, "I'm going to track practice tonight." Knowing full well that I wasn't going to do the workout, but I was going and was just going to run around that track with everybody else there. That's enough for me for now.

But during lap 2 of my run I had to stop to use the bathroom, which reminded me of the 5K this past Saturday morning, which reminded me why I eventually had to stop running in the second pregnancy with Brayden...the bladder doesn't quite have the same control as it normally does. I peed myself during the race pretty bad, and really without a huge urge to go. I mean really I had just gone 2 minutes before the start and I peed myself at mile 2.25 or something like that...like a good 10-12 oz...seriously???? Come on! Seriously?!?

Like I said, I had to stop running with Brayden because I had to wear pads to run due to the bladder control issue. It got to where that didn't help, so I just stopped. Although I shouldn't be surprised. It was an issue during the first pregnancy as well. I'm about to share a very embarrassing story about pregnancy with Ryan.

I was about 36 weeks pregnant and Tim and I took a trip to Home Depot for some random things. I went to the bathroom before walking out the door. We drove 10 minutes up the road and were walking around the store. Tim needed to go in one direction and I in another. So we split up. A few minutes later, Ryan kicks...really hard. I'm not talking a normal "oh, baby's got a strong kick", I'm talking break a rib kick. Fortunately, it was not my ribs he kicked. Unfortunately, it was my bladder. And at that moment I lost literally about a liter or more of urine on the floor of home depot.

As if this weren't enough, right at that exact moment, a very young (20 at the most, probably 18 or 19 yr old) man who worked there came around the corner and yelled out. "Oh ma'am...Oh are you ok. Did your water brake? Oh crap, don't move, don't move....I'll get help. Oh man." At that point other shoppers came flocking to see what was going on. Two older ladies came up to me and told me to sit down, that my water broke. I told one of them "I don't think it's my water, I think it's urine" to which she replied "honey, it's okay. You don't need to be scared, we'll get you to the hospital. It's not urine. You just need to accept that you're about to have a baby."

Well I started thinking: 1. I had just gone to the bathroom at home, no way I had that much urine in my bladder, 2. It was clear, not any tint to it at all and 3. There was no smell to it. Hmmm, maybe it was my water. The worker returned with paper towels and a wheel chair as a voice over the intercom said "Will customer Tim who's wife is pregnant please come to Isle 6 immediately". This caused yet another flood of customers. Then they put me in the wheel chair while the worker proceeded to clean up the mess with no gloves on. All the while I'm whispering to Tim that I think it's just pee. Everyone is telling Tim to hurry and get me to the hospital, and he says "I will right after I pay for this stuff." Crap, we're there, might as well get it, right? Idunno.

To the hospital we go. Monitors, internals and little paper tests....all say "it was just pee". But I did have Ryan a week later. For what it's worth, I did not step foot in that Home Depot for a good 8-10 months. Just couldn't do it.

Now, how does one work around a weak bladder during pregnancy in order to keep up running. I don't want to have to give it up again. Previously I just kept up with biking, the elliptical and some swimming, but I would love to keep running if I can.

Things that make you go "hmmm".

2010-12-26T16:13:00.002-05:00

Well, it's a day late but we've managed to accomplish about 6-7 inches of the white stuff today. So no "White Christmas" but the day after means that family actually stays all day for Christmas and there's no worry of being snowed in. Seriously it only take a few inches here for people to stay in and avoid the roads. We are in the south.

So Tim and I bundled the boys up this morning and attempted a snowman...it was more of a snow duck I have to admit...if I can find the camera I'll get a picture up, but if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that me and pictures don't really go well together, I'm lazy. Any how, our snow duck has a big carrot nose (mini carrot), two blue candy eyes, two very small twig arms (wings) a green scarf and a blue cookie monster knitted had. Priceless.

After the building of said snow duck, we went for a walk in the white stuff. It was only a walk because Tim and I have yet to really admit that purchasing a sled might be worth the 30 bucks it costs. As we were walking around the 1/2 mile loop, we came across a lady that was in her drive way wearing a beat up sweat shirt, pajama bottoms, bedroom slippers and a bandanna. She was walking on her 4 inch snow covered driveway. The only tracks other than hers were from where they had backed the cars out of the drive into the street. She was slowly walking from side to side throwing somthing and I just thought it was weird.

Then it hit me, I recognized the blue round container in her hand with the familiar yellow (or white) girl with an umbrella on the side. Morton's table salt. She was sprinkling morton's table salt on the 4 inches of snow. I guess she though it would help the snow melt? I turned to Tim and said, maybe we should tell her that you're supposed to salt before it snows and with rock salt. #1. I have never heard or seen table salt used to help with snow/ice prior to the white stuff falling and #2. I don't think that it helps when applied on top? Not sure here people but my guess is that she's fighting a futile battle.

So flash forward about 5 hours to this afternoon. Ryan is eating a snack, Brayden and aunt Jen are napping and Tim is braving the roads with a friend. So I get the bright idea to shovel our walkway and driveway. Let us keep in mind that Tim and I have yet to buy a sled so please note that we surely do not own a shovel. Hmmmm, so what can I use that has a flat edge to move the fluffy snow? Let's take a gander in the kitchen closet....broom, no. Dust pan....that's ridiculous, no. Ah, there it is, the swiffer wet jet. I don't use it to mop anymore, no pad, flat bottom, turn it on the side and you have a semi-sharp (for my purposes) edge...yup that's it.

So I go out and remove the snow/ice slush from the walk and drive way and then notice that it's starting to flurry again. Crap. I wish we had some rock salt now. Then it dawns on me, no rock salt but my lovely neighbor gave me the idea so I ran with it. I mean really...I removed all the crud from the driveway so it was a clean slate....better table salt than nothing, right? Heck yeah, I emptied my big blue round container of Morton's all over my driveway and walkway.

Now, I just know that there was some neighbor looking out their window at me saying to their family "is she using a swiffer wet jet to clear the drive?" "I think she is, but what is that she's sprinkling on the drive now honey." "Hmmm, it looks like...no it can't be...it is, it's Morton's table salt...she's crazy."

I am crazy but I'll let you know if it works. I amaze myself.

June 2011

2010-12-12T08:30:00.004-05:00

is going to be a doozy. First let's just get the elephant out of the room, Tim and I will be expecting baby Gautreau #3 then. I had written this whole cryptic post with a "surprise" ending, but decided to just say it instead.

We didn't expect it to happen so quickly but literally the week of IM, BOOM...tada! I knew about 4 weeks in and just prepared myself that maintaining that fitness level was unreasonable given a full time job, two kids and a husband that had just signed up for Eagleman.

Yup, that's the #2 doozy for June 2011; Tim signed up for Eagleman about 2 weeks prior to us figuring out I was pregnant again. So the logistics around that race are already being planned out. I have a history of going early (3 weeks with Ryan and 1 with Brayden) so with Eagleman being 2 weeks before my due date, we're going with the impression that baby #3 will be born while in Cambridge. I'm not missing that race, my doctor's will have to get over it.

So, now that I'm 12 weeks, I'm feeling much better. The nausea and fatigue were worse this time. Can't really say that I think it means maybe a little girl, just because of all the other factors of race recovery, being sick and three crazy boys to chase around. I'm enjoying just exercising for health and not worrying about "training".

Tim already has a ton of races (well relatively speaking) that he has signed up for in 2011. "We" just did a marathon in Charlotte yesterday. I'm actually looking forward to taking a back seat sport wise and providing the support and cheering. Although I told Tim last night I wanted to pick 2 early season tri's to do as a relay with him...just can't get it out of my blood you know. So here's to bringing in the new year, with a new life, a new role and a new attitude.

Getting back in swing of things

2010-12-03T22:37:00.002-05:00

I've finally gotten out of the mild funk I've been in and have decided to be serious about physical activity and healthy eating habits. I guess I'm tired of being a bum and my clothes getting tighter.

I kid you not, it's getting bad. I've been completely slack and when I say that my average weekly training hours went from 14-15 to 1 or 2, please try to hold back the gasps and "holy $h!ts". I know, believe me I know. I just couldn't do it, for whatever reason, I just couldn't...so I didn't.

But now, I'm tired of the dimples appearing in places other than my face and not sleeping well because I'm not tired because I'm not expending any amount of energy during the day that resembles a normal human being. I guess I'm tired of being "normal"...that's what everyone says anyway. "you should take some time to be normal again". But what does that really mean? Lazy? Because normal for me was working out, exercising, training (whatever you choose to call it) at least 6 of the 7 days of the week. That was normal. Normal for me, pre endurance training, was 5-8 hours of aerobic activity a week.

So really, I think what people (those that don't race or exercise regularly) mean to say is "stop making me feel bad about the fact that I don't do what you do, and be like me for a while so I feel better about myself". Is that a fair assessment? Maybe not nice, but fair. And I'm tired of that "normal" life.

Despite the past week being nothing but greasy burgers, salty fries, ice cream, sugary cereal (captain crunch with berries being my favorite) and tons of doritos with salsa (ok so the salsa isn't so bad until you eat the entire jar in one sitting), I'm tired of the junk food. I mean, the taste buds like the junk food, but my body is starting to hate the junk food...I'm all sluggish and mushy and yucky feeling. Heck, I've even broken out with pimples this week...how old am I again?

So I'm done with being normal, lazy, non productive and slack. I think I've tried it for a sufficient enough amount of time to have recovered physically, emotionally and mentally from this past year. Time to get crackin' on being me again. Nothing like trying to do that over the holidays...whatever! You cookie makers, pie bakers and soul food cookers....don't come to my house, leave me alone, I don't want it. Well, maybe just give me a few weeks to get back into my routine, then you can come by....really you can. I take anything chocolate and coconut...or pumpkin flavored or savory warm pastry...crap...I need help.

Somebody, call the food doctor. This is more serious than I thought.

In the nick of time

2010-11-24T20:11:00.002-05:00

Ever had just one of those days....you want to scream, curse, pull your hair out, slap somebody and throw everything around you out of the window, or perhaps even set your desk on fire?

Ah, Monday was that day for me. I don't know what it was, but nothing went right. From the time I got up with the boys, daycare drop off, work, cleaning up other people's mess, work, dealing with angry sponsors, oh and more work....I was starting to flip my lid. I was mumbling obscenities under my breath (perhaps not quietly enough since a co-worker asked if I was ok) and just had enough.

I wanted to cry, scream, jump up and down and wave my arms frantically. So when it was close enough to "go home" time, I left. And when I got in my car, thinking things just couldn't get any worse on this crapity crap crap day...I started my car. And guess what happened? The mother of all good things....Christmas music was playing on the radio.

Pheww. Now, I believe that you should enjoy one holiday at a time. I don't like the commercialization that has gotten worse over the years. Our family celebrates halloween, then thanksgiving and then only after that day of stuffing do we get out decorations and get ready for Christmas. But this radio station started playing Christmas music 24/7 on Monday and it saved me.

Christmas is absolutely, without a doubt, my favorite time of year. Perhaps the greatest, fondest memories of my childhood are from a warm house smelling of pumpkin, turkey, stuffing, macarrons, chocolate peanut butter cookies, red velvet cake, german chocolate cake...the list can go on and on. The sound of The Carpenter's Christmas, Alabama Christmas album...classic music.

The big family dinners in Florida when we all got up early to help Mooma with "dinner"; secretly we were just hoping she would let us help so we could sample the goodness a little earlier than everybody else. The family movie night that only consisted of a Muppet Christmas Carol (great movie), and falling asleep to colored lights outside the bedroom window. I miss the anxiousness of Christmas Eve, wondering what Santa would be bringing...even as I grew older and Santa was no longer a magical happy fat old man, but two loving parents trying to keep the spirit alive. I loved that so much, I miss it.

Now I find myself trying to recreate that feeling of comfort, wonder and excitement for my family. I love it...so I will enjoy the early Christmas music every morning in the car (regardless of the "mommy what's that noise" questions from the back seat), enjoy it every afternoon on the way home (great relaxing), soak up the lights, be amazed by the multitude of trees, and absorb every smell...this is my time of year. Hopefully one day my children will feel the same warmth and love.

Gautreau projects

2010-11-03T19:10:00.003-04:00

Let's see. There's so much time now that I don't know what to do with myself...well I do but it's almost like I want to get it all done right now.

Boys:
1. Goal is to get Ryan bathing himself at night. He's already pretty self sufficient and dresses himself, can brush his own teeth (satisfactorily), uses the bathroom by himself, can feed the dogs and let them out...now it's just bath time and fixing his own food. Although it'll be a while on the food, the kid can't reach very much in the pantry or fridge.
2. Get Brayden potty trained. This one is going to take a while. He's in the "play" mode right now with potty training. I didn't know there was such a stage when we went through it with Ryan, but there is. He's already trying to put clothes on by himself and helps Ryan feed the dogs.

House:
3. My Christmas present from my parents this year are chair rails throughout downstairs. So I've got to finish painting them and the walls. If I'm really motivated, I'll paint the rest of the trim while I'm at it, but that's a lot.

4. There are actually 2 more house projects in the works, but I can't post them...it's too close to Christmas and I don't want to ruin Tim's present.

Fitness:
5. Get back to at least 4-5 days of regular exercise per week. I'm still slacking post IM.

Family:
6. We've instituted family dinners. Not just Tim, the boys and myself, but real family dinners. Every other Sunday (starting this week), my parents, Tim's parents, cousin Madison and Aunt Jen along with us of course will all bring a dish and enjoy family time. Talking, eating and maybe some games. I thought it would be fun, so what the heck.

7. Perhaps baby #3. We're still thinking.

Boring blog due to nothing going on in my life other than work. I'm glad it waited till after IM to get busy at work...couldn't have done it otherwise.

Escape to Edenton

2010-10-24T15:02:00.003-04:00

North Carolina that is. Tim and I ran away Friday after work to Edenton, down near the coast. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast called the The Pack House .

It was very nice. The B&B was only about .2 miles from downtown which was riddled with old shops...like a shop just for books (ha a bookstore), a shop just for shoes, a soda shop, a furniture shop, a pharmacy, an appliance store...etc. Hopefully you get the picture. If you walked all the way to the end of the street, you ran into the bay. Little boats were docked, there was a small playground and to top it off, nearly every street corner was equipped with a light pole, a flag and a park bench.

Saturday, we got up, ate breakfast and then headed out for a bike ride. It was a perfect day out; sunny, slight breeze and cool temperatures. It's flat as can be near the coast so we road fast. It was my first bike ride post IM and it felt wonderful. My legs were moving well, only had brief hints on breathing issues as we went over the 1 bridge in that area.

After we got back, it was a lazy day of laying around watching football, walking around downtown and eating. This morning was a nice breakfast and then off to try another run. It was better than the past few, but I think my runs are going to be either on the treadmill or out on the tobacco trail where it's flat until I can get my breathing under control.

The boys were so excited to see us and when we got in the car, the first request was this "mom, can we listen to my B-day song pweaze". Sure Ryan. When the music started Brayden got so excited "Ryan, it's B-day ryan, you hear that it's b-day. Yeah it's B-day mommy"....and this is what comes on the radio

Da na na na na, na na na, da na na na na, da na na na....They told him don't you ever come around here, don't wanna see your face you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are very clear so beat it, just beat.

The chorus is the best when the boys sing. Ryan is actually trying to learn the words now but Brayden still says "Nobody say B-DAY....B-DAY" "Brayden that's not the right words brayden".

It's been a good weekend.

Ironman to Weakman

2010-10-20T20:41:00.002-04:00

I should have seen it coming...I mean I practically foretold my future. I think my words were "I don't care how sick I get...blah blah blah." I got sick on Thursday September 16th. It got slightly better after Chesapeakeman, but I never fully recovered. Then Brayden got sick again and so did I. I finally broke down and took some Musinex and Sudafed PE for about 5-6 days. Well I'm still not completely better, I can't get rid of the little glob of mucus that seems to have implanted itself into the back of my throat. Stinkin nagging persistent cold.

I went from making myself not workout for 9 days post IM to being plain lazy. At first it was all I could do to keep myself from working out, to now having to pep myself up to attempt a workout. I've run 3 times since the race. Yesterday was the first run I've had where my knee didn't hurt...apparently I did some damage from all the training and the race. I've also swam 3 times. The first attempt being more like I was swimming in tar, but the last two swims felt really good surprisingly. Well, minus the under water coughs and hacking up mucus between laps. Still no bike.

So let's do the math shall we....3+3=6. A total of 6 whopping workouts since September 25th. Ladies and gentlemen, I might have figured out the fastest possible route to go from the best physical shape of your life to turning into a ball of mush.

I don't think I've completely lost my fitness, but wow, my breathing right now is horrible. I can't get into a comfortable breathing pattern and I'm getting the worst stomach cramps/side stitches I've ever had. I do believe I've walked more in the last 3 runs than I did during that marathon. My legs feel fine running. My arms and breathing feel great in the pool, I just can't put my finger on what is going on.

Is this normal post IM? Several people told me it would take about a month to completely feel "normal" again. Maybe I'm still recovering? Whatever, I actually haven't gained any weight back which shocks me but I feel like a tub of lard. Gotta get off my lazy butt and at least get back into a normal exercise routine.

What would you say?

2010-10-13T20:59:00.004-04:00

I just got done watching live video online (with no sound) of the Chilean miners being pulled out....the last 4. Everyone out alive. Watching this was interesting. I'm not a claustrophobic person, but I can't even imagine being stuck underground for over 2 months and then having to get in a cylinder barely wide enough for my body to be pulled out of the earth. The amount of time it took just to get one person up...What must it have been like for the last minor waiting down there for the cylinder to make it's way back down to get him.

I was watching the reactions of the people at the top and it was just so emotional. Some of them were just over joyed by the fact that everyone was safe they couldn't stop smiling. Rightfully so I think. Then there were those who were crying over the cylinder just starting to come out of the earth, while others were still skeptical until their loved one was actually out of the cylinder and in their arms. Mothers or wives so composed for what was going on to their family and then young men putting up a futile battle to hold back tears.

The embraces between these families was intense. So tight, so long and so passionate. Although I'm sure they were not speaking English I wish I could have heard what they were saying to each other. What do you say in that situation? There are really no words that I could think of that would adequately describe my joy and relief.

When I was very young...5-7 years I think, my dad was still in the Navy and going on deployment over seas. He was stationed in Bahrain. I remember hearing that his ship was being bombed (or something of that nature) and didn't understand why mom was so stressed out about it but knew that everyone was worried. I started having dreams about fireballs running through the city chasing people and that my dad got "caught" by a fireball. I would wake up crying but that was really the extent of it. I didn't know the consequence of what I was dreaming.

In high school, dad had a heart attack. My parents woke me up very early one morning to tell me they were going to the hospital but not to worry, they would call me later and just to go to school as normal. I had a volleyball game that night and was told to go and I could come see dad after the game. They had taken him during the day to Raleigh (we were living in a smaller town at the time) and he had surgery. When I got there, the nurse pulled me aside and told me "You can go in the ICU and see him, but he his intubated and on machines still. If you're going to get upset or cry you will need to leave. He can't see you get upset, he needs everyone to be happy".

I walked very bravely and naively into the ICU, like I was made of stone. He was in the bed in straight sight of the door and I immediately felt my insides falling apart. When I walked closer, I was so scared. He was discolored all over, a yellowish tint and there were bandages all over his chest. The intubation tubes seem to swallow his face and he was awake looking around to find everyone. They only allowed 2 at a time back there, so my mom and I were there. I immediately grabbed his hand and he squeezed me so hard and all I could muster was "Yes, we won the game." I managed an "I love you daddy" and felt my eyes watering and the nurse gave me the look. I had to leave.

At that moment I understood mortality in a way I never wanted to. Seeing your father, a person that is supposed to be the rock, the foundation of the family, the tough man that never feels pain, is never weak and has never cried...for him to be lying nearly helpless attached to machines was simply more than I could bare. But a few days later, he's walking, talking, laughing and living, and there was that sigh of relief...the same sigh I saw tonight. The sigh that says "thank you Lord for blessing us with one more day".

I couldn't say anything that day, but if I could go back or even now I would say: you are the one who has shown me how to love, how to be humble, how to work hard, how to value what I have and make something of myself. You have given me a good life and I am forever grateful. I love you more than you will ever know and am glad that I have more time with you.

Phewwww...happy to be alive, happy to have two healthy children that are safe in their bed tonight, happy to have a husband that loves and supports me, happy to have a family that is always there and able to see their grandchildren grow up. We are a blessed family.

What's next for the Gautreaus

2010-10-02T21:26:00.002-04:00

Well it's hard to say. Tim is definitely doing a marathon in early December (Charlotte NC) and is now looking at picking up another ultra distance relay in Florida in November. He's also trying to raise money right now for the Blazeman Foundation so that he can race at Eagleman next year. I think he's got two weeks to raise $750. I think he's itching to race competitively again.

Me, I'm feeling anxious. About Tuesday or Wednesday this week (only 4 days post IM) I was already wanting to race again. Nothing long, just wanting to find something short, perhaps a 5K or 10K just to feel fast again...well faster. I feel good this week, no major soreness and no injuries from the race; just healing blistered feet. Then again, I've done absolutely nothing that resembles or requires physical effort this week. I think a nice easy swim and perhaps easy run tomorrow. My winter will probably end up with running and swimming mostly with sporadic long rides on the weekends just to keep a certain level of bike fitness.

Ryan is just beside himself with his new "booster seat" for the car. He's so proud to be the big boy now that he doesn't have to ride in a car seat. He's obsessed with wanting to know when he will turn 5. The number 5 is his favorite number and has been for almost a year now. The number 5 was/is the reason he will run around a track for a mile just to see if the number is still there when he gets back around. Hey, if it makes him sleep I don't mind.

Brayden is jealous and keeps asking when it will be his turn to be big enough for a booster seat. For months Brayden has been sleeping in Ryan's bed. He just got tired of his crib even after we converted it to the toddler bed. He didn't want it. We didn't see an issue with letting them share a bed, and Ryan didn't protest too badly. But we did notice they played more at bed time and woke up earlier due to kicking each other and other contact throughout the night. So we broke down this week and bought Brayden is own "big boy bed". This seems to have made him forget about the booster seat and they are both sleeping much better...which means mommy and daddy sleep much better.

Who is # 180?

2010-09-28T21:19:00.002-04:00

The short version of chesapeakeman was a swim of 1:19, bike of 6:36 and run of 5:34. Overall time of 13:45:49, good enough for 5th overall female considering this race doesn't pull a huge elite wave and is more geared for first time ironman athletes...but whatever I was just happy with finishing under 14 hours honestly. Just a finish was a win for me.

The longer version.

We left wednesday afternoon to go to Cambridge. This is the same site where Eagleman is held in June/July. A great little town. It was Tim, the boys, my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, tim's parents and our niece. We rented a house about 6 miles from the finish of the race. I had broken down and started snorting Afrin on Tuesday so Thursday was the last day I could take it. I was still so stuffy and coughing uncontrollably Friday. It was only after warm herbal team with honey that I was able to get any good rest before the race.

Saturday morning, Tim got up with me at 4 and we headed to drop off my special needs bags and then over to the swim start. I think I had been so nervous since about 5 weeks out that I just didn't have any nerves left. From the time we got into town Wednesday and even throughout the day Saturday, I was never nervous. I was not worried, I was just ready to start. I don't get it, perhaps the one time I should have been nervous and it wasn't there. It was very surreal and just seemed like any other race day, really more like a training day.

Swim: I was actually able to touch bottom at the start, which was nice. They had warned us about jelly fish, but I didn't run into any. Aside from a few head bonks and a few elbows, the swim was uneventful. I was very conservative on the first lap just due to not knowing was kind of effort I could get away with and still have the energy for later. I guess that happens with the first try at each distance. I must have been hydrated because I used the bathroom at least 5 times during the swim. Although my left calf got a charlie horse three times and I couldn't kick for the last 500 m of the swim, I was happy with the swim. I swallowed/snorted salt water twice...so not a ton but enough to open my sinuses and keep me from coughing all day.

T1: Lots of ladies looking very scared and quiet. I used the bathroom again in T1...good hydration.

Bike: My family had gone out the night before and put messages on the bike course every 5 miles. This was a flat course...windy from all directions, so at least it wasn't a head wind the entire time. I have to say that I thought I would love the flat, and I did love the absence of big hills, but I would have like something to give my legs a little break every now and then. The messages were a great way to break the ride up. Not only that, my family drove the bike course and stopped every 10 miles or so and waited for me...yelling, clapping, dancing...it was awesome. They started cheering for others riding around me too. I tell you, that came in handy on the second lap especially when I started to hit that wall. It gave me that little extra boost. I actually used the bathroom while riding the bike...never thought I would do that...but holy crap I must have been hydrating well. Again, uneventful ride. Nothing crazy going on, just riding. Trying to push when the head winds hit and then trying to take advantage of the tail winds. The thing that was odd was the sporadic bursts of energy and then lack there of; this started happening about 85 miles in. Again, take advantage of the energy periods hoping they weren't met by the headwind and then just trying to push through the lack of energy.

T2: I was in the tent all alone with a bottle on unopened water somebody had left...so I used it to shower off before changing clothes. Loaded up on sunscreen, stretched out a little and drank some more fluids oh yeah and went to the bathroom again.

Run: This was an out and back (3 times) with not a lot of shade. I just tried to get my legs going. By the time I was starting the run it was about 96-97 degrees out, the good thing was that it was not humid. I made it to the turn around where they had tikki torches, a grill, a keg of beer and upbeat music blasting....it was nice. I wish they had that set up at all the stops. When I got back to aide station 2 my sister and mom were there to see me, I had to sit and vaseline up my feet...yucky blisters already formed on the balls of both feet and three toes. At the start of lap two, I met up with Brian from Delaware and we agreed to run the last two laps together...and we did. run every mile, stop at the stations and drink, take a few slow steps and start running again. I had to stop 3 times to use the bathroom on the run...I'm telling you, I had the nutrition down on saturday. By the time we started lap 3, the sun was setting and you couldn't see the road at all, they only had 2 rented lights on the 4.2 mile stretch of road. Tim met Brian and I out there and "ran" beside us.

The finish: Brian told me to go ahead of him at the finish because I had "saved him from a race that would have been over 15 hours". So I did....grabbed Brayden on the way in, Ryan was asleep with Nina, and everyone ran across with me. One of the most amazing feelings I ever had!

It's crazy to think that my first marathon ever was at the end of an ironman. Actually prior to race day my longest run ever was 17 miles. I never felt overwhelmed with the day or what I had to do, it never felt like a daunting task...it just felt doable. Tim's only comment was "well it didn't feel that way because you were physically prepared." And he's right, so thank you Marty Gaal...you are the reason that the only daemon I had to face Saturday was myself. I was equipped physically and nutritionally.

On that note, I whole heartedly believe that the reason I was able to conquer myself Saturday was because of my family. My day wonderful and fun and exciting only because of my family's support and willingness to share in it with me. For almost a year now, Tim and the boys have dealt with training on a daily basis, my parents have come through on countless occasions so that I could get long rides/runs in on weekends and still allow for Tim and I to have some time together and my sister been the ear that has heard it all. And on the day itself, I couldn't have asked for a better cheering section...if anyone ever needs fans, I'll rent my in-laws out...when I tell you that you can hear them calling your name a 1/4 mile away, I'm not exaggerating! And if it's loud, you'll still hear them above everyone else...and that keeps you moving.

I absolutely love triathlon, and now I know why so many people love the ironman distance. My day ended with my sister and I in the back of the truck back at the house, both crying. Her emotionally exhausted from all the support she'd been giving all day, not just to me but to everyone else. Why would that make her cry? The connection you make with these athletes trying to do something so crazy, right? And then not knowing if they made it. And that made me cry. Because somebody else got it. Maybe my friend Malinda was right, I'm a "waterhead", but that's why I love this sport...the months of sacrifice, crazy crap and then the one day pay off that lasts a life time.

Will I do another one? Absolutely. When? Not for a while, it's my family turn for the same commitment and attention that they've shown me over the last 10 months. I'll post pics of the tattoo when I get it...sister is helping design it.

Oh yeah, and guess what.....I'm an Ironman!

One week out, what do you do?

2010-09-19T18:55:00.002-04:00

Well with Brayden fighting the ick for about 3 weeks now, Tim had it for about a week and Ryan and I successfully fought until early last week. Both of us got a little cough, started with a few sniffles by the Thursday and then by Saturday we were both icky.

I took Friday off work and Tim and I loaded the boys in the car and headed to Asheville for the Blue Ridge Relay. Tim was on a 6 man team. The 209 mile relay race started in Virginia early Friday morning and went around the clock. The boys and I were in the second "team vehicle" which really was just using the extra pass so that we could meet the team at the exchange zones to see daddy and play in various country mountain settings.

So all night Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I was in a car with a 4 and 2 year old. All three of us sick. At least I got to nap Friday and Saturday and had a good nights sleep Friday night in a bed. Better than the relay team...cat naps cramped in a rented Ford passenger van. Fun fun. We did take them soup and supplies when they needed it though and the boys got to run and play quite a bit...finding fuzzy brown bugs and nicely sized rocks and sticks always make rowdie boys happy.

Saturday morning I was awaiting an early text or call with an address of where to bring a hot breakfast for everyone and instead heard this on the other end.
"hey, what room are you in?" Oh crap "119, why are you all done?" "yeah we had to pull out".

Apparently the downfall of this relay is that the course was not well marked or well staffed with volunteers during the night portion. One of their team members missed a few turns and got lost for close to 3 hours on a 5.5 mile leg. Not fun or good. Everybody else stiffened up while in the van looking for him. And honestly, when you're giving the one female team member a knife to carry on her night legs...probably not a good sign either.

So even though daddy got done about 5 or 6 hours before we expected, we made a day of it. We took the boys to a "gem mine" to find stuff...which honestly was more like somebody tossing some store bought rocks in a big bucket of sand for you to then "unearth" with their water channel...but the boys loved it. So if it makes them happy, it makes me happy. Then we went to the Mast General store and got candy (of course what else), went back for a short nap before heading to catch football and ultimately balloon animals and pizza.

The boys had fun, but were DONE with being in a car by the time we got home today. They were just going buck wild. Luckily grandma and grandpa Barnes came over and asked the boys to spend the night with them so mommy could rest in the quiet and try to kick the ick...I think just the quiet has made me feel some what better. Emergen-C and tons of water, chicken and rice soup and sleep are my friends right now. Let's just hope they make me feel better quickly.

And that's how one week out is shaping up for me. Tim is picking on me now so I must go and kick his lilly @ss. Hehe, not really but the bed is calling.

Calling all graphic designers....

2010-09-12T08:55:00.002-04:00

I'm looking for a little help. "When" my ironman attempt is successful in two weeks, I'd like to get a tattoo. I'm pretty sure I'd like the Mdot, but I'd like to change it up a little, maybe have the name of my race on there and the date. I'm just not creative at all. I've googled some tattoos online and there are some pretty cool ones on there. I'm just not sure.

So if anyone has any ideas, do share! Also, I'm still debating on location. Seems like most people get it on the calf, it's always visible, a constant reminder and conversation piece I suppose. Then there's the shoulder or upper arm. You can see it when you race, but you can cover it up for things like formal occasions...I think I'm leaning toward the calf...I mean if I'm going to get inked, I might as well let it been seen right?

thoughts and recommendations welcome and wanted.

Saying our "Thank Yous"

2010-09-08T20:45:00.003-04:00

Lunch monday:
Ryan: Mommy we need to say our thank you's
Brayden: Uh huh...thank you's mommy
Me: Ok, but you'll have to say them so I can learn them too.
Ryan: We start by counting together mommy...say it "1-2-3", say it
Brayden: 1-2-3 GO RYAN GO!
Me: Ok, 1-2-3
Ryan: thank you for the earth and sky, thank you for the birds that fly. thank you for the strings that fwoat (float), thank you for the food we grow. thank you, thank you this we say. Thank you for all we have today.
Brayden: thank you for today.
Me: that's very nice. we need to say thank you's more often.

Ryan: mommy who do we say our thank you's to?
Me: Well we are saying them to baby Jesus.
ryan: you mean baby Jesus from Christmas. It's not his birthday yet. I miss baby Jesus, can me and Brayden go play with him. When do we get a turn to play with him?
Me: Well hopefully your turn to play with him is when you're really old.
Ryan: You mean like grandma lillian (mind you she passed away when he was 2.5 years old)
Me: Yes honey, like grandma lillian and grandpa sam.

Ryan: Well mommy, that's not fair that they get to play with him and be in his house in the sky and me and Brayden can't have a turn yet. I think I'm going to build a rocket ship and then me and Brayden can ZOOM UP in the sky and visit and take our turn. Do you think that is a good idea?
Me: I think building a rocket ship to fly in is a great idea. I think that you wanting to take turns and share playing with baby Jesus is a great idea and very nice too.
Ryan: Yeah, that's what we're going to do Brayden, alright?
Brayden: right Ryan.

If only it were that simple.

With September comes change

2010-09-05T09:52:00.003-04:00

1. College football has started. Our week now starts on Monday with analysis of the previous weekend's games and predictions for the coming week. Thursdays are spent watching the first of the weekend's games and Saturday's start early watching College Game day all morning until the first game kicks off and full anticipation until FSU plays. Lots of food and drinks and company.

2. It looks like we're going to get a fall this year. Back in April, we skipped directly from winter to summer heat and humidity. All of a sudden, we hit the month of September and the weather got very pleasant. It's chilly in the mornings and the day warms up to a tolerable heat that just makes you feel like you've just eaten a hot bowl of soup on a freezing winter day...comfortable. Unfortunately with this relief from the heat, not only is it giving us more energy...it's giving the kids more energy. We're outside more and they are wanting to go all the time. As if they weren't before, but I think you all know what I'm talking about with heat zapping energy.

3. I've noticed a huge difference in my training load and energy. My body is getting much needed rest and recovery. The load is tolerable and with the reprieve in weather, my training actually feels good. Although it's nice, this holding pattern still has me ready for race day to be here and done.

4. With my training winding down, Tim is now ramping up his training for the Kiawah Island marathon in December.

5. Ryan is now a big boy with show-n-tell and getting ready for kindergarten. He no longer goes to "pre-school" he goes to "pre-K" with the "biggest kids in school" and in the "biggest kid room".

6. Brayden has been riding the tricycle by himself for a while now. He figured out the pedaling much faster than Ryan did. He's also much farther along with potty training than Ryan was at this age as well...I think having an older brother to watch has helped. I'm hoping that he'll be trained by Christmas...or at least pretty close.

7. Maybe my house will start to stay clean and my laundry will get put away...okay okay. Maybe it's not going to change that much around here.

Wandering Minds

2010-08-28T17:54:00.003-04:00

It's interesting what you start to think of during long training days...like on my long rides I start to sings songs from the golden oldies station from when I was a kid...I can never remember more than 3 or 4 lines of the song so it's more of an "angela's memory sucks" montage. I've sang 99 bottles of beer, I've tried to remember songs and poems from high school. I've contemplated if I'm "being all I can be", what makes my boys happy/sad, why I'm doing this, why Tim puts up with me...those sorts of things.

It's mostly just happened on the bike, obviously because the most time is spent there. But it happened in the pool on a short workout this week...weird. In our new pool, one lane is right next to the doors for the woman's, men' s and family locker rooms. And today, swimming with my eyes closed, I could tell which locker room door I was passing based on the smell and taste in my mouth.

It's simple really. A slight musty stale smell with a small hint of old spice is the men's room. It's the least noticeable, least offensive of the three actually. Still detectable to the trained olfactory system of a mother.

The distinct smell of baby powder and desitin means I am passing by the family locker room. It's a smell that I have known all too well for the last 4 years. More so with Brayden, little boy's bottom has diaper rash at least every other week. Seriously, he can tell us before we change him, "mommy I have diaper crash...I need ceam" or "I need a band aid for my diaper crash".

Then there's the woman's locker room...oh my dear heavens. It's the strongest, thickest smell of all. It's like swimming by a Macy's perfume counter and the smell just hangs in the back of your throat for an entire lap or two after the door closes. It's a choking hazard waiting to happen. I can't stand it. It's like they load the stuff on before they go work out for fear of smelling while working out...the same women that put on make up to workout or play sports and the same ones that only work hard until they start to sweat. ARRRRRGGGGG, curse you chanel #5.

But the fact that I was trying to guess what door I was passing based on smell in between strokes with my eyes closed, that's a new one for me. Too bad I don't have doors on the road. Of course I wouldn't be closing my eyes, but hey it would pass the time.

This one is for Trish!

2010-08-26T20:41:00.004-04:00

I think that there are always those people that just pop up in your life out of no where. Trish is that person for me. I worked with Trish about 5 or 6 years ago. She was a senior member of the regulatory team when I came on and as the one who showed me everything. Actually she was the "do it all" woman. She had made her way through nearly all the departments doing whatever they asked. It was a small company, you had to do what you had to do in order to get the job done. She knew it all, knew all the right people and to top it off, had the greatest personality. It was never a dull day with Trish, if you were at work, you were smiling and laughing.

Well, Trish was there with me when I got tricked into signing up for my first triathlon. She would go to the pool with me at lunch and help me out a little...she used to swim. So after my first season, Trish got the idea to get back into running and started doing the sprints with some ladies in her neighborhood. Unfortunately, she left where we were and I didn't get to see her anymore.

So about 1.5 years later at a race on the coast, as I'm yelling for Tim out of T1, and a few months pregnant with #2...I hear "Angela Is that you?". Turn around and there she is, Trish. With that big smile on her face...racing! A quick conversation to catch up and as quickly as she was there, she wasn't again.

I'm pretty sure there's another instance between then and now, but I can't recall specifically. This past weekend, Tim and I were at the bike shop trying to figure out what to do about his trashed bike...and as we start to pull out of the parking lot, a huge white SUV stops mid turn, rolls down the window...and it's TRISH! Another quick hello and "update your blog, I'm following you." and we're off again.

So Trish, here's the latest.
I'm 4 weeks out from my Ironman debut. And this week was a much needed break from training. I look at where I started last November, when 8 hours was a heavy training week for me and think now that 9.5 hours seems like nothing and is my "easy" week. I'm on the downhill to race day.

The thing I like most about this week, it's allowed me time with my family, time for chores, time to sleep, time to eat and unfortunately it's coincided with a really busy week at work...so it's balanced out.

Ryan has actually asked me why I'm not riding my bike or running. Brayden has been happier with being able to cuddle more and I've just been more relaxed. Tim is starting his marathon training this week and it's nice to be able to let him do something for a change.

My contracting position with the "Q" is hectic and stressful and I'm looking forward to not being there anymore...I think I've got 6 months left....hint hint wink wink, if you have anything interesting as far as jobs go let me know....I'm on facebook. haha

So Trish, you're following me, but I can't follow you. Do get in touch, I'm dying to have a good laugh and catch up!

Everybody else out there, hope it's all going well for you too! And seriously, I need to hear some good IM stories and "be prepared for ..." type messages...so send them my way....Michelle, Rebecca, Scott, Dan...seriously I know there are more of you out there!

I'm burnt

2010-08-15T20:20:00.002-04:00

like toast..
like a lobster...
out....yeah that's it...I'm burnt out!

I've been told by several whom have done this IM stuff before that the last month and a half are the hardest...that these last few weeks before the taper is what will test me the most. And I have to say that I agree whole heartedly. Not only has the fatigue just piled up infinitely on me, but mentally, I'm just wrecked. And as you all probably know, it's hard to make the body do what the mind is not willing to do.

Example: today's brick was a 3 x (25 mile bike/3 mile run). With each session increasing in intensity. I started at 6:30, got through the first set easy, plenty of shade. Set two, bike split down by 5.5 minutes, run with no shade. I stopped by my parent's place half way through the run, sat down, drank a water and just sat. I didn't want to do the last set...I just sat there. Now, I did the last set and even managed a bike split still 1.5 minutes faster than the second. But I sat there for 5 minutes after that last bike trying to convince myself to just start the last run...I would finish if I started...and I did but it was another run that was just yuk.

A month ago I was all in the right place, mentally, physically and emotionally. Now I just feel defeated. I'm tired, I'm sluggish, I'm lacking in confidence over all this and just want it to be over. It's all stemmed from the run in SC, ever since then every long run as been met with cramps, a pace which is slowing exponentially and a ratio of walk/run that is increasing. I'm just ready to feel good when I run again.

I know that all this is probably normal and I can even reason that it is logical based on what I'm doing on a daily/weekly basis...but honestly this sucks. And sure it's really hot and humid...I know all the factors leading to how I feel, but it doesn't make it easier. This party girl is getting impatient for her debut party entrance. September 25th cannot get here fast enough.

Now if I can just get through the next week, I should be good...or at least I think so.

Vacation

2010-07-25T17:14:00.002-04:00

or should I say a training camp in the ocean? Tim and I just got back from our 7 day cruise to the Caribbean. It started with a long run Saturday before we got on the boat, in 85 degree, 100% humidity, heat index of 105...at 8 am! Needless to say this was the worst run I think I've had since January.

Sunday was up at 6am for a 4.5 hour ride on a spinner on the boat gym. Not too bad. Then lots of food, drinks both of the water and alcoholic kind and a three hour nap. The nap turned in to a daily routine...that was the nicest part of the entire vacation. The rest of the week was a balancing act of treadmill runs on a treadmill that was mimicking the sway of the boat from the ocean, more spinner rides and a nice ocean water swim. Friday was a 5.5 hour spinner ride on the boat...a tiring way to end the cruise.

But It was the best training week I've had in a long time. I felt good all week, I think the combination of lots of good healthy (yes I ate healthy...98% of the time) and tons of sleep contributed to the way I felt.

Tim and I gambled a lot, saw some really good shows and some not so good shows on the boat. Tim even volunteered for the hypnotist show on Friday; it was interesting to say the least since he did the rated R show at 11pm. Whether it be good or bad I don't know, but I didn't even think about the boys until Thursday night. And honestly, I could have taken another 5 or 6 days.

It was good to be home yesterday though. And today was Ryan's 4-year birthday party! His birthday isn't until Tuesday but we celebrated today. Complete with the FS Series orange dancing man (thanks guys!) and an appearance from Muddy the Mudcat (a local triple A baseball mascot)...the only two things he wanted for his birthday and we were able to get! He was so excited and happy, it was so nice to see. Words can't describe how nice it feels to see your children that happy. Definitely will be posting the pictures soon.

Good to be home. So, I've got about 9 weeks left till my IM party and I'm feeling good and getting more excited and anxious with every week that passes.

Dinner props

2010-07-14T19:39:00.002-04:00

Tonight for dinner we had spaghetti, creamed corn, applesauce, yogurt and koolaide. There were some grilled chicken fingers in case they didn't want the spaghetti, but for the first time in a few weeks they destroyed their plates.

Ryan: Mommy, these sure are some delicious corns.
Brayden: yeeeahh...dewiscis mommy. Mmmm.
Ryan: Mommy, this sure is some perfeccly awesome spaghetti.
Brayden: yeeeahh....pefely awes pasketti
Ryan: Mommy, thank you for such a yummy dinner. My belly is so excited.
Brayden: yeeeahh...yummy. My belly cited tooo.

Now, only if I had been the cook.

Thanks for such a great dinner Tim!

New Bike and news

2010-07-11T19:14:00.004-04:00

Well Tim's been trying to convince me for 2 years to get a new bike...an upgrade. And I never could pull the trigger. There was always something else the money could be spent on...and probably there probably still other things we could use the money for, but we're not stretched any more since I'm working full time and it's a good time.

I've tested the Felt B14, Cervelo P2, Kuota k factor and Kuota Kueen K. I'm wanting to try the Cervelo P3 and Felt B12. But I think it's coming down to the P3 and the Kuota Kueen K. I'm excited. I never knew how heavy my road bike was until now. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I test rode on saturday and then went for a 4.5 hour ride sunday....the entire time I was cursing my bike.

The one problem I'm having is timing. The IM is September 25th and no stores really have my size bike in. Stocks are low and nobody knows when they're shipments are coming in. It sucks. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have a new bike to play with. Yeah!

In other news, Tim and I finally get another vacation. Cruise time starts this Friday for a week. Tim's mom is staying at our house with the boys so I'm sure they will enjoy nina time and being able to stay at their house.

Ryan has made a definite jump from toddler to "big kid". His reasoning skills and conversation are amazing, and I've already starting getting teary eyed over the fact that he will be starting school in a year. Brayden is full force into tantrums and his independence finding phase. It doesn't seem as bad as it was with Ryan. I'm not sure if it's because we've been through it once so it makes it easier to deal with or if he just hasn't changed as dramatically as ryan did. Different circumstances, different kid, different parents (so to speak).

Tim has really started focusing on his running again, doing a lot of track meets. And to top off all that we have going on already, we're playing flag football once a week for 2 months. Well, I wouldn't call what I'm doing playing...I'm more just jogging around the field looking "good" because I don't want to get hurt. The other teams seemed to have picked up on this and don't really pay me any mind. I don't mind, I'm getting to be social and it's a good mental break from the trifecta that runs my life right now.

In the throws

2010-06-23T21:17:00.002-04:00

Never did I expect IM training to be like this. "This" is not a bad thing, it's just more than I anticipated. Granted, at the time that I began training I was only working 20 hrs/week...which made training easier to manipulate around. So when I started working full time again right after the early season 1/2 IM, it kinda threw a kink into things.

My time is so consumed now I can't even account from one day to the next. Aside from early morning workouts, lunch workouts, and after work workouts (depending on the day), I get about 3 hours a day that are not spent either getting myself and the boys ready for work/school or getting ready for bed. Typically those hours are spent picking up around the house or throwing laundry into the wash or vegging out on the couch. We don't really put laundry away anymore...we just have a dirty pile and a clean pile. Since the end of April, last weekend was the first time we've swept, mopped, wiped or dusted the house. Sad thing is we didn't have enough time to get to the bathrooms. Needless to say, I only get online maybe once a week now.

I actually met a woman at work today who is training for IM Wisconsin. It was so nice to talk to somebody else who is at the same stage of training as I am and who has done it before. She gave me names of local long group rides, run/swim training nights and wants to get together again to talk about what she went through with her first IM. I'd like hearing the stories and little "ah ha" moments people have...it helps to get me prepared I think. So this lady asked me "how are you feeling with everything right now?" My reply, "I'm tired and hungry". and she said "well then, sounds like you're right on target, your coach is doing it right".

I guess that sums it up...tired and hungry and right where I'm supposed to be. More than I thought it would be but well worth it as far as I can tell for now. The only reason I say that, is that I'm a complete "water head" every time I see one of the televised IMs right now...all teary eyed wondering "how will I react when i finish", "how many times will I want to stop" , but most of all "what will it feel like to be an ironman". I want it so badly, I want that honor.

I don't even think I will begin to comprehend the things I'm learning during training from a physical, mental and even emotional level until September 25th has come and gone. But as my co-worker said today..."that day is a party, celebrating all the hard work and pain you've put in. So just smile and enjoy the fact that you can even try to finish." I'm ready for my party.

Brown bear, Brown bear what do you see?

2010-06-18T21:39:00.002-04:00

Last weekend was fun. Tim and I took the boys to the Pamlico River and spent time with my parents, his parents and his sister Jennifer. Saturday morning was filled with sprinklers, spiders, coolers filled with Ice and a pig pick'n.

After lunch, little boys found their way to a nap, big boys found their way in the shade of a tree drinking and talking or in-front of a tv to watch soccer and the girls (Jen and I) found ourselves sailing with my cousin Chuck. It was fun, I've never sailed before. It's one of those little boats that you sit on and manually handle the sails and steering...I'm boat dumb so I'm not sure what kind of boat it was. But we had a good time. Jen went out by herself with Chuck and on their way back in the boat was vertical and they were laughing. Very good times.

Back to the trailer and I headed out for my 90 minute run. Tim decided to ride his bike with me while I ran...the company was nice. What was nicer was what happened in the first 1.5 miles of my run...here's where the caption should be BLACK BEAR. We saw a black bear walking out of the woods about 200 yards in front of us. I stopped dead in my tracks and so did the bear. Tim's reaction "Angela turn around now, go, turn around now". My reaction...uh I'm not moving until he moves and he wasn't moving.

He stared us down as if to say "I see you, what are you doing? Do you want to play with me? I like to play chase." No thank you Mr. black bear. So finally, a few cars had stopped behind us, which provoked a response from said black bear. He decided to move along. Tim and I proceed with extreme caution and just kept wondering...WHAT THE HECK is a black bear doing on the east coast of NC? Mountains, yes...coast, um no.

The rest of the run was uneventful other than a blister that covered my entire pinky toe. This was followed by nearly a 4 hour ride Sunday morning. It was pretty hot, flat, windy, Hot, sunny and HOT. The one place I forgot sunscreen...a little place on my back where my shirt slides up and my shorts slip down. It's still got mini blisters and extremely tender to the touch nearly a week later...and still NC state red. OUCH, note to self for this weekend's rides!

After the great training we got in, (it's nice having both sets of parents and aunt jen around), we took Ryan out on the lake in a big inner tube. Tim and I sat in this thing while Ryan was in Tim's lap. He loved it! I seem to recall when I was younger that my dad couldn't try hard enough to throw my sister and I off the floats. Now we were slightly older than 4, but still...it's was no joke. Hold on for dear life and when you couldn't hold on to the inner tube, you held your nose for fear of water shooting so far and fast up your nose that it stung. So the point is, dad wasn't going super fast, but he was going fast enough to get some good waves and that Ryan said he felt like he was in a hot rod.

Now that's a good weekend.

Finders Reward

2010-06-09T20:32:00.002-04:00

It's different for everybody in our family. Examples:

1. Ryan finding his lost "ball bumper" = hours of entertainment and anxiety as he tries to keep brayden from taking it from him.

2. The dogs finding their tennis balls = 5 minutes of wild anticipation of being able to play fetch, followed by 2 minutes of playing fetch because the boys can't throw the ball more than 10 ft.

3. Brayden finding a "chocat" muffin in the backyard= happy screeches of "mommy I find it...chocat muffn" (insert dog poop where you see the words chocat muffin) followed by smiles as he smears it all over himself...yeah for water hoses.

4. Tim making new friends through FSSeries = Tim getting new bike toys.

4a. Tim and Angela making friends with FSSeries = Ryan getting his very own "dancing man" for his 4th birthday...how cool is that? That's why FSSeries rocks!

5. Angela finding Suzie (spin instructor from 5 years ago) = a break from the garage once a week and a room full of other miserable, tired, sweating, puking triathletes!

6. Angela finally finding someone to run with at track practice = workouts go by more quickly and are actually fun.

7. Finding more time in the day to spend with all my boys = when I find that I'll let you know. Seems as though working full time again, IM training, keeping house, keeping husband and keeping boys just requires more than 24 hours in a day.

What's your find and reward? If it can beat the chocolate muffin, do tell!

A Break

2010-05-15T21:47:00.002-04:00

I got to go to Atlantic Beach, NC Friday after work. I was meeting a college friend for her bachelorette party. It was good to see her and a few other college friends. When I showed up they asked what I wanted to drink, and the typical response almost emerged when I thought to myself "no kids, no man, sleep in tomorrow..." I'll take a pina colada please.

We had a nice dinner and by nice, I mean I had to fish one of the ladies out of the men's room as she started a conversation with the men at the urinals. It was funny...sort of. Afterwards it was fun games back the hotel and a restful night. I slept in till 8:30, which was magical, then got a long ride in.

It was time to face the wind daemon. I talked to him, told him he was not going to beat me down this time like he had in South Carolina. I told him to screw off and grow a pair because I just wasn't going to take it any more. And I didn't take it, I kicked that winds butt. Now honestly it wasn't nearly as bad as it was in the SC 1/2, but it was a start to facing the deamon. And I survived. I felt pretty good and I was happy at the end at having been able to stay focused and strong. A step in the right direction.

On a bad note, my last water bottle fell off my bike and was run over and busted at my turnaround...when you're on a rural road that runs between islands, there is no where to stop for water. So I had to stop at the beach access lots and get water out of the sink in the women's room. There were only two such stops on the way back in, so needless to say I was a little dehydrated this afternoon.

On my way home, I let the windows down, turned the radio up as high as it would go and I sang as loud as I could. Even when I didn't know the words. It was refreshing, revitalizing and fun. Then Pink's song "Rockstar" (I think that's the name) came on. And I found myself dancing in my seat with the hugest grin on my face as I sang the chorus the way Brayden and Ryan would have sung it "Guess what, rockstar, got my rock moooooonnns. so what, I having more fun, cause I'm a rockstar!"

I got my rock moons back this weekend.

Early Mother's Day

2010-05-08T16:06:00.005-04:00

This morning I was woken by Brayden at 6am...he climbed into bed with us and tried to go back to sleep but it was useless. So the tv was turned on. At 6:30 Ryan came meandering in...with a huge grin on his face. "Good morning mom". He joined us all and after 5 minutes of tv he says "I'm hungry mom".

Do you want to go downstairs and get breakfast buddy? "Yeah, I'll be right back." And he left the room. I knew he was going to get something and bring it back. When I was at home with them, it was not uncommon for him to go get a box of cereal, bagels or fruit chews from the cabinet and bring them upstairs for everyone to eat while we watched cartoons. This morning was no different. When he came back into the room carrying the lucky charms, with an even bigger smile on his face he said to me "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, here you go". "Wow, did you bring those for me?"..."Uh, no they're for me and Brayden but you can share with us."

Cool, love it. Best breakfast in bed I've ever had. This was followed up by a Swedish massage and facial, then lunch with my mom. It was nice...very nice.

So during my massage, while on my tummy, my stomach was growling crazy. It was loud, like the screaming child in a restaurant, it would not stop. I felt bad for the lady giving me the massage. Just when I was about to apologize to her, it growled again....oh wait, that wasn't me. It was her. Ha, no apologies needed. At least it wasn't gas I suppose.

Better yet was coming home to a house that Tim had tidied up. I love my boys.

Happy Mother's day to all the old, young and about to be moms!

Try Charleston 1/2 IM Race Report

2010-05-03T22:12:00.004-04:00

Ahhh, how do you start a race report of a race gone sour? I guess like this:

I did what I could. But after 5 years of racing triathlon, I had my first truly bad race. Not all bad, but disappointing and riddled with mental error. Was I nervous before this race, we all know the answer to that. I had put a lot of pressure on myself for this race. Was I physically prepared, more so than I've been for any other triathlon I've raced. Was I mentally prepared...mostly, but not entirely. And the one thing a coach can't do for you is train your mind. You can hear the messages all day long, but until you process them for yourself and take ownership over them, all the conversations, pep talks and coaching are no good. And what I found out this weekend, racing is just as metal as it is physical..maybe even more so.

I was nervous before the start and even Tim said that he noticed I was not thinking clearly as we got ready to head out of the hotel for the race site...it was just a manageable nervousness though, nothing like my first race ever, or my first half. I got a good warm up run in before hand and was nutritionally square. I got in the water and when the horn blew, I went. I felt good in the water and at the end of the second lap, although a little tired, I felt like I could have gone another two laps. Out of the water, passed up the wet suit strippers and onto the bike.

I had heard bad rumors that there was a headwind on this pancake flat course...but the first 25 miles were nice. A slight tailwind, smooth, flat and comfortable. I felt good, controlled and confident. I was hitting my nutrition spot on, then it happened and I wasn't prepared for it. At 25 miles, we made the turn around and literally as soon as we turned the median of the road, the headwind stopped us in our tracks. I say "we" because every person I saw that had already made the turn around looked as though they were sitting still. "To be sure, I'm in better shape than that" I thought...then I found out, Uh it's not that they are in bad shape...the wind is that bad. I tried to stay strong because I knew we were turning off the main road and though that would get me some relief...but none was to be found. There was only about a 4-5 mile stretch during that last 31 miles that was not in the head wind. At one point I started singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" to try and take my mind off of it until I lost count of how many bottles were left because the wind was blowing me around. My rpms just kept getting lower and lower...down shifting to try and let my legs recover and still no relief. The last 6 miles were never ending...and I was mentally spent.

As I came into T2, I commiserated with a gentleman on my rack about it and tried to get ready for the run. Tim was talking to me from the side "this is what you've trained for Angela, let's go have a good run." I heard him and I was trying to believe him. As I ran out of T2 smothering sunscreen on, I tossed the bottle to Tim and decided to try and focus on what Marty said. Start the first 3 easy/comfortable, get into the groove. Then, "if you're feeling good, move into a moderate/fast effort just like in training." That was the plan and I was getting it done. Miles 1-3 were at my right at my goal pace...and I felt good. Forget the bike. So, it was time to move into the moderate/fast effort, right?

Here's where my racing inexperience got me. Being a volleyball and softball player, there really isn't any strategy to game time, if you know what I mean. With racing, whether it be running, biking, swimming...pick your type of race...strategy and game plans are vital, especially once you get to these longer distances. Before this weekend, my strategy was always, put an effort in that will allow you to finish...so I never pushed. But now that I was trying to best my time, I needed a strategy. So, what did I do, I went for the moderate/fast. Well, correction, I dropped my mile pace by 30 seconds per mile...no comments please. At the time I said to myself...wow angela you can do that after that bike...you go girl. Except for after a mile of that pace, an a scorching hot day, in a course with no shade (with no heat training as of yet), my legs said stop.

So I stopped at the next aid station. And from that moment on, my miles got slower and slower and then I stopped again and they got slower and slower.I remember looking down at my watch (which I don't normally wear during races) and thinking "if I can just hang on to a 10 minute pace, I can match my 5:45 from November)...then I looked down again at the next mile marker saw the reality, I was not even going to make 6 hours and I had an emotional breakdown. I was sobbing like a baby...until of course another racer would pass and I would shut up. That lasted for about 5 minutes.

Enough already, shut up and finish. One step at a time, just get your butt across the line and be done. And I did. But as soon as I saw Tim waiting for me in the final 1/4 mile...I broke down again. The one person that would get it, he had been there himself and I knew I could just let it go. He ran with me to the finish where I continued to hang my pathetic head, tears streaming and snot flowing. The only people that wanted anything to do with me at that point were Tim, Brayden, Ryan and my mom. My dad, God love him, didn't know what to do or say...nor did I. It just wasn't my day. I had put all my energy into what it would be like to beat my time and never thought about what it would mean if I didn't. I mentally withdrew after the bike and made a very bad decision on the run that cost me being able to salvage my race.

Positive outcomes/lessons learned:
1. Swim was still an improvement which is encouraging
2. Bike, despite the headwind, was feeling very strong
3. Race nutrition was great and I physically felt great
4. Let bad things go in the race, don't dwell
5. No more wearing a watch or if i do, don't focus on it
6. When coach says pick it up to moderate/fast...that doesn't translate into 30 seconds/mile faster...duh
7. Bad days happen
8. Prepare for the unexpected

So I'm done wallowing now. The big fish is at the end of September.

Mental Changes

2010-04-29T15:22:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure what triggered the change or when it happened but it has happened. Regardless of what my loving husband would say, I am and have always been a very competitive person. Admittedly, it was really bad when I was younger; I'm embarrassed about just how bad of a sport I could be at times.

When I graduated from college, I started coaching teenage girls in volleyball. Perhaps that started, the change from "WIN, KICK A$$, NO EXCUSES, WIN MORE" to "how can we develop your talent, make you better than last week, last tournament, last year, make you happier as a player and meet your goals." Or maybe it was seeing that at 14-16 years old, there is no need to push that negative energy around. But slowly, I started changing my outlook on sports and how I participate. It became a mission of feeling proud about myself and what I had done to accomplish a goal, or being okay with the idea that a goal didn't get met because I had worked as hard as I could and I would just have to work harder next time. Satisfying the competitive side of me....with beating me and not somebody else.

So I bring this up because that mental change was a very slow and gradual process. Not just a sudden enlightenment. When I started triathlon, I just wanted to finish a little sprint. That was good enough, didn't matter how it happened, as long as it happened. Then my first season was focused on improving that sprint time as much as I could, with no thought of how to do so...just work harder. Once that goal was met, it was "let's finish an oly distance...just finish" and check for that. Then, let's try a 1/2 IM to "get back into shape post baby #1"...check for that.

My goals since that first half went like this 1) for the second 1/2 IM don't bonk...prepare nutritionally 2) for the third 1/2 IM don't walk at all on the run and now for this weekend's race 3) get as close to 5hrs 30 min as possible. You see, the first two goals had no planning...I just went at them as working harder and more mental focus. But last night's car ride with Tim to South Carolina really got me thinking about this last goal. It's no longer just the "work harder" approach.

Of course I have been working harder than previously...well maybe not harder, but definitely more regimented and committed to what I'm doing. I trust that what Marty has had me do since January has prepared me to be physically and nutritionally ready for this race...but he can't control the mental part of it (although I do enjoy pep talks on rare occasion *wink*). Tim was my pep talk last night. How can I be mentally prepared for this race? What needs to happen to ensure that I utilize all the training that I've put into this race? In other words...What is my race plan? Never had one of those before...like I said it was just "finish" or "work harder". What does that mean exactly?

A good chunk of the car ride was a discussion between Tim and I about what we both "need" to do to accomplish our goals for this weekend's race. For the first time since I started racing...I'm formulating a plan of how to accomplish my time goal, considering the training, talks and information I've gotten from Marty I'm really excited....but more nervous.

Seriously, it wasn't hard to improve on my first 1/2 IM time...it sucked to put it bluntly. I bonked, I was unprepared. The second go was much improved but still left much room for improvement. The third one was a wetsuit legal, salt water (with a current) swim...so of course my time was better. Now, it's really time to see how I can push myself given the training I've had...not wuss out and hold back....for as long as I mentally can stand it. It's a mental game. So the thoughts of "how much time can I realistically carve off of last November's race given the swim" are entering my mind. Alligators are in the back of my mind...not hitting my goal is in my mind. But what's driving me the most is the thought that is the smallest right now...what if I can blow that time out again? What if I can take another 10-15 minutes off that time? Holy cow...so I've got to try.

So the plan is to swim like I know I can (which is faster than I normally do in races because I get scared of drowning), suck up the "pain" on the bike and get as close to 2:50 split as possible, and then put a run together like I have been in training on my long runs (9 min pace would make me happy). I just have to repeat "You can do this" "You will do this".

I will try to do this...comes down to the 3 D's; desire, determination and dedication. I can do this.

Rule No. 1

2010-04-19T19:34:00.005-04:00

What was the first rule you were taught when you learned how to cook? Don't leave cooking food unattended, right? Simple. Basic. Common sense. Until now.

I decided to boil eggs tonight just to have boil eggs or make some egg salad...I don't know, just wanted them. So at 5:45 I put 6 eggs in a pot and started the water boiling. At 6:45, Tim, the boys and myself, were upstairs in our bedroom getting some quality time in and some "quiet time" in. When we heard a few "pops". Didn't think anything of it. In fact, we thought it was one of the dogs turning over their dog food dish in the laundry room. Then the next pop was louder and Tim said, "Have you been back downstairs since you started boiling the eggs?" "nope...oh crap".

I stayed upstairs with the boys while Tim went down stairs as I hear another "Pop" I just started laughing realizing the eggs were what was popping. "Tim, are those the eggs popping" "yeah, I'll let you come down and see the damage."

So I learned that a few things happen when you boil eggs for an hour on high:
1. Obviously all the water boils out
2. The bottom of the pan burns
3. The eggs explode

I only hope I didn't ruin the new stainless steal cookware we just got for our anniversary...sorry mom.

Two weeks and 3 days...

2010-04-14T12:41:00.001-04:00

Till SC 1/2 IM. Ye-haw!

Season's first open water swim

2010-04-10T19:02:00.003-04:00

Today was the 5280 swim out at Beaverdam about 45 minutes from our house. This race was done in conjunction with an Olympic distance triathlon. Tim and I were volunteers for this race, as well as participants, so we had to be there around 5:30. It was cold! Water temp was about 68 to 70 depending on who you asked, but all I cared about was that I got to wear a wetsuit...because I a cold water wussy. Seriously people, the heated pool at our gym still isn't warm enough for me sometimes.

Anyhow, after helping check people in, body marking and various other small tasks, I had about 15 minutes to prepare before the start. My goals were 1) to get a faster time than the 1 mile swim from last August and 2) try to break 30 minutes.

I think I started way too fast because I found myself near hyperventilation mode within the first 75 meters...yikes. So I slowed down a bit. For whatever reason, I did not site well today. normally my swim path is pretty spot on, straight and the shortest path to the next point...but today not so much. I can't say that I went completely out of the way but I was slightly off course twice. So not a big deal. The other thing I learned is that Tim and I are apparently very close to the same size from crotch to shoulder, so wearing his long sleeve wetsuit that pulled on his shoulders/arms did the same to mine today. It was like a rubber band preventing me from taking a full and proper stroke. I was getting so tired and didn't figure it out until we got home. I was fighting against a wetsuit out there. Again, don't know how much that really impacted my overall time, and I don't really care at this point.

The good news is that I did better my open water mile time by about 2minutes and 34 seconds. I missed breaking 30 minutes by 35 seconds so I am a little bummed, but I was pleased with the swim after all is said and done. It makes me feel like things are definitely working (thank you Marty and Bri). So now I'm really excited for the South Carolina 1/2 IM on May 1st! Perhaps I'll be able to improve on my half time yet again! We'll see.

Yellow Haze of Spring

2010-04-05T20:59:00.003-04:00

Ahh, it has come in full force yet again. It's not a gradual process, it's just BAM here out of the blue. Pine pollen. Ryan asked Tim this weekend what the yellow stuff was and Tim replied "It's when the trees sneeze, this is what comes out." and I quickly added "it's yellow tree snot". That about sums it up...tree snot.

It's so bad that just sitting on the porch will leave you covered in this stuff after a short 2-3 minutes...no exaggeration people. I thought I would be okay on my long ride yesterday because I would be "moving fast enough that it wouldn't stick." I couldn't have been more wrong. I got off my bike and my legs had a measurable amount of pollen on them. Perhaps that's a sign that I was going to slowly...eh? Dunno, but as I was stretching my legs out, a neighbor came over with beer in hand (for Tim of course) and I went to the sink to rinse my arms off and wiped my face only to find that it was covering my face, particularly below my eyes. "Tim, why didn't you tell me I had pollen all over my face." "Oh, I just thought you had put that zinc oxide stuff on your face before you went out." "yeah me too" replied said neighbor. Hello? do real people own that stuff, I thought it was just those funny base ball players? No, but that's how bad the pollen is right now.

Today on the way to drop the boys off with Tim, we were driving down the road and I saw a cloud of yellow, literally. Similar to how you can see rain in the distance or when somebody creates a brush fire in their yard and the smoke over takes the road...it WAS that bad! Ick, it would be a nice ride with windows down but the darn stuff flies in the windows and settles in the seats. And it's not even worth washing your car for at least 2-3 weeks until you're sure it's done, because 2 minutes later, you've got a new color...again.

Go away yellow tree snot.

Random update

2010-03-29T21:48:00.003-04:00

Well, I must say that eating more has done nothing more than make me feel fat and full all the time. I think my stomach has only growled once in the last week and a half since I started the mission of making sure I'm eating enough. I'm proud to say that I'm getting within 2-300 calories of what I'm burning each day as opposed to 1500 calories short. So it's better, just hard to eat that much for me.

Our house has been busy! Ryan is busy in his own world so conversations never make any sense and are often just a circle. Now that he's been potty trained fully for about 3-4 months now, he finds it humorous to try and pee anytime we're outside instead of going in to the bathroom. And even the other day as we were in the family room playing, he got up and said "I have to go pee"...off he went...to the kitchen where he pulled his pants down to his ankles and was about to christen the cabinets. WHAT? Yeah, um....you better take that to the bathroom boy. Tim and I were just so dumbfounded we didn't know what to say.

Brayden is absolutely, 100% completely the opposite of his brother. Ryan was a quiet, calm child who listened and didn't really get into things. He was/is content with what you give him. Brayden on the other hand, will find something you've barricaded and stored in a lock box. The child is into everything and when he gets it in his hot little hands, it's straight in the mouth. I thought they were supposed to outgrown the oral fixation by now??? He's a mile a minute, jumping, running, galloping, skipping, falling, flipping, turning, hanging, throwing, twirling and head banging with a smile on his face the entire time. Yikes, we are in trouble in a few more years. I've often told Tim, had Brayden come first, we definitely would have waited longer to have a second child.

Tim is nursing a calf injury that will hopefully get better with enough time for the SC 1/2 IM in May. And me, I'm just trying to hang on to whatever little bit of sanity is still hiding inside...it's hard to find right now. Work, training, house, boys, dogs, and whatever else have just absolutely drained me. How do I know? I actually drank with dinner tonight, that's how I know. It's on very rare occasions that I partake in the beverage, but tonight I had two tall glasses of pina colada with my dinner and then still had a big piece of cheesecake, yum!

I'm looking forward the half in May, I'm ready to get a race under me belt for the season...ready to get the feet wet (pun completely intended). Time to check the bed to make sure it's cozy enough.

How hard is it to eat?

2010-03-19T22:34:00.005-04:00

I think I've mentioned before that before Marty agreed to coach me, the most I trained was about 6-8 hours/week. That was my limit, not necessarily physically, but mentally it was all I was willing to commit to with the family and work thing. Marty has built me from 10 hours starting off to the last three weeks at 15 hours. So I was surprised at how well I have physically held up. I feel strong for the first time in years when training and I'm gaining confidence with each session which just makes me feel even stronger.

The one thing that I've noticed is that the training has affected some female situations a bit drastically. After talking with Bri about it and reading up online, I'm not concerned about pregnancy, nor am I concerned any longer about having dropped too much body fat or body weight too quickly. So during my rest week, I've been tracking my food intake a bit more closely instead of just going off of "I'm hungry" or "I'm not hungry" and I've noticed that I'm only consuming about 2000-2500 calories/day. Yikes! I feel like I'm eating a lot, and I'm eating well most of the time..although I'm a bit carb heavy, but obviously (as Bri mentioned) that's not a lot of energy consumed for the amount of training I'm putting in. I'm a little shocked that I have had the energy to keep up my training considering my lack of nutrition...but what I am eating is good stuff. Maybe this is why I've been more fatigued by bed time and just completely rack out for 9 hours or more when I can and naps on weekends. I was contributing that to the training, but maybe it's food related too.

I've found myself just throwing junk in my mouth to try and up the calories but I just can't physically eat any more. I'm full. I've never been one to track what I eat, or how much...I just drink lots of water/milk, eat when I'm hungry and try to make sure it's balanced. Maybe this is why I bonked on my first half IM. Good thing I wised up and hired a coach for the full and even better is that I have some time to get a handle on it.

Oh yeah, and I'm loving this rest week! It's done wonders for my mental, physical and emotional well being. Hehe and my laundry is getting put away for the first time in a month.

Blue lights

2010-03-13T19:56:00.002-05:00

So Thursday I was taking Ryan to the gym with me then it was off to work. For once in my life, since having my license, I can honestly say that I had broken absolutely no traffic laws since I had left the house. No rolling stops, abiding by the speed limit to a tee, signaling...etc. So I turned on to a small highway and was carrying on about my business when I noticed a local sheriff behind me. He followed me for about a mile, then turned his blue lights on.

"crap, seriously...I wasn't doing anything."
To which Ryan replies "Uh mommy. do you see those blue lights?"
Yes I do buddy.
"Mommy, you're in a HEAP 'a' trouble!" (for those of you who aren't familiar with the movie CARS, my son has seen it too many times.)
"No, mommy is not in trouble, the police man is just going to make sure mommy is being safe." (I had no clue as to why he had pulled me."

"Hello ma'am. My name is office "whatchamacallit" with Apex police. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No I don't."
"Ma'am, your tag is expired. Did you know that?"
"No I didn't." ( you know they stopped putting those stickers on your windshield last year stinking whitie)
"Ma'am, may I see your license and registration please?"
"Sure." As I open the registration, I see the exp. date of 12-31-1009. My heart sank. I suppose he notice the look on my face because his next comment was:
"You really didn't know did you?"
"No sir, I didn't. I'm sorry."
"I'll be right back, let me go run this information."

as he walked away, Ryan says
"Mommy, he took your card. You need that to get in the gym. Put my window down, I will talk to him. I will get your card back mommy. Put my window down."
"ryan, it's okay, he's going to bring it back to mommy. He's just helping mommy to be safe and follow the rules."
"Oh mom, just put my window down. I'll get it back."

Officer returns, with a ticket! Stinking $25 ticket, $130 dollars in court costs, and I have to appear in court to show them documentation that I've fixed the "problem". Dude, I DIDN'T KNOW....CUT ME SOME SLACK!

After sharing this with Tim, he tells me that all his co-workers believe that I got pulled because the cop thought I was cute and then when he realized I had a kid in the car, he had to give me the ticket. Shoot, I could have bought the man a coffee and some doughnuts.

Quick update

2010-03-08T13:35:00.003-05:00

We've been extremely swamped around here. Last week we found ourselves having to say good-bye to Tim's grandfather Sam. Thankfully, it was a quick, painless passing for a man that served his country and family very well. All in all, everyone seems to be handling it well, not that it is ever easy. I was on edge all week wondering if Ryan was going to ask about grand-daddy Sam and what I would say so not to turn it into something sad for him. But surprisingly, the only comments my observant 3.5 year old had were at the church service. He heard everyone praying and didn't know the prayer they were saying so he started saying his bedtime prayer. Every time we would pray, he would pray. It was precious in a way he will never understand. Then he asked me about the stain glass picture of Jesus feeding some doves. When he found out that was "baby Jesus" he asked "is this baby Jesus house mommy?" yes it is. " I like his house, it's pretty." I wish I was 3.5 years old again.

On top of a heavy emotional week, training was bumped up for the last two weeks at 13 and 15 hrs. Might not seem like a lot to some of you, but for me, prior to working with Marty, a heavy week for me was 8 hours...so it's physically been a lot. No sleep, emotional turmoil and that much training took it's toll.

Saturday we found ourselves watching daddy at the Umstead trail marathon and trying to nurse him back from a disappointing DNF. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to drop out of a race in 4th place because your body isn't willing to continue, even with proper training. I think everything had taken it's toll on Tim for sure. As a side note, this is one of my greatest fears come September...that despite all the training and nutrition, my body just won't let me finish...somebody better but roller skates on my butt, because if it comes down to that, I'm going to scoot across the finish line.

Then yesterday found Brayden with his 5th case of the croup, 4th since last August. Normally we can't see a difference in his behavior but it's been different this time. He's all out of sorts.

I've found that when these things happen to me, I can "handle it" in my own way. I can reason and get ticked and make changes. I can make it go away and I can dictate how I respond and cope. But when it's someone you love so dearly and all you can do is be there and be willing to listen, it's hard. It's the hardest thing for me to watch Tim or the boys struggle with something, whether it be physical or emotional and not be able to take the pain away. Like I said earlier, I just wish I was 3.5 years old again.

How could I say no?

2010-02-27T20:55:00.003-05:00

When I first started in triathlon, everything was competing for time against my training; friends, family, the dog even got the boot on certain occasion where taking her with me on a run just was a hassle. Training won many of those battles. Perhaps it was because triathlon was new and exciting, the new "love" interest in my life. But I felt guilty for missing a session. I would end evenings with friends early because "I have a race tomorrow" or I wouldn't enjoy a drink because "I need to hydrate". It was another obsession, if you will, that I had. Something to throw myself into.

Last night when Tim and I went to bed, the plan was for him to leave by 7:30 this morning to go get his last long run in before next weekend's marathon, while I went to pick the kids up from a slumber party at my parent's house. When Tim got home, I was supposed to get my long run in then it was off to his parent's house for the afternoon. Then tonight would be an easy bike ride.

Well, one thing led to another and after Tim got home later than planned, I did my bike before we went to his parent's house. When we got home tonight, it was dinner and chores. I planned to hop on the treadmill for that 1.5 hour run after Ryan went to bed. I should have known better. As he does every night after prayer, "mommy, will you lay with me?" 7 out of 10 times I say yes, and the other 3 times, I call upon daddy to take a turn. But tonight daddy was out with the guys. So how could I say no to my first born baby? I couldn't, I didn't. "Sure sweetie, just for a minute."

A minute turned into just over an hour, as I found myself being woken up by the dogs grumbling about some random noise only they could hear outside. It just past 9pm and there was no way I was getting on that treadmill. Sorry coach, I chose my son over that long run. I don't feel bad at all about missing the run, because I know I'll just make it up on what should have been my day off. Actually, this is the first workout I've missed since the "ick" in January, and since I'll be making it up, it's not really a missed session, right? Am I justifying here? Point is, I will gladly miss a session without (too much) guilt now. All three of my boys, my family and friends are much higher priority now, as they should be.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still go to bed early and I won't drink often but I'm more inclined to let myself have a personal life. Although, it seems that I'm just going to have to get up earlier to get those sessions in before everyone gets up in the morning.

Biking

2010-02-22T21:27:00.004-05:00

I had mentioned to Marty about a week ago that I had been feeling some painful stretching behind my left knee for a few weeks, to which he replied that it was most likely tendinitis. So a couple of days before the evil Valentine's Day Massacre marathon relay, he adjusted my bike seat by dropping it 3 mm and then gave me a super easy, restful week last week.

So on Saturday I met him and Bri for a 2 hour endurance ride. It was kinda cold, and I have no cold weather gear. Bri loaned me a jacket and some toe warmer booty thingies. I was happy that they like to ride easy in the winter. Not only did it give me a chance to ride with a "group" so to speak, it was nice just to have company and some more experienced riders to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

I found out that my approach to biking on hills (being self taught since I clipped in for the first time 5 years ago) was completely backwards. Whereas I would normally end up dropping my cadence way down on hills due to not knowing when to shift, I found out that it is for that exact reason why I always seem to give out on the bike. Apparently, stop me if you knew this (or don't, just let me believe somebody else was of the same belief as I) you are supposed to increase your cadence on a hill because slowing down engages your fast twitch muscles which brings on lactic acid build up more quickly....hmmm the science of it all. Well no $h!t. It makes so much sense now. I'm relieved almost, to find out that I'm not just a horrible biker and that there is indeed something I was doing wrong that can be corrected.

So on Sunday, Tim and I met Bri, Marty and Steffen for a broken brick. We did a 18.5 mile loop followed by a 20 minute run, then another 18.5 mile loop followed by a 10 minute run. They all took it easy the first loop and I was able to hang with everybody. The first run sucked. Then we started the second bike loop and I was left from the beginning. At first I felt a little disappointed, but in the end I actually think it helped me. I probably pushed harder to maintain the speed we had kept the first time around but I was by myself. I felt like if I had done that work out alone, I would have slowed way down, but part of me just kept trying to pedal so I wouldn't be that far back from the others. The last run sucked.

Surprisingly, I was not sore after either workout. Which means I'm probably in better shape than I thought I was or I need to be pushing even harder...not sure which. But my transition runs are stinking up the course at this point. I need to get on that.

Through the eyes of a 3.5 year old

2010-02-19T20:49:00.010-05:00

These are the things a 3.5 year old finds interesting enough to take pictures of... in the order they were taken:

1. Self photo
2. Picture of Brayden trying to bite the button off of the shower curtain no doubt...nice nostril shot. Glad there were no boogers.3. Not sure if this is another one of Brayden or if it's Ryan's attempt at another self photo.

4. Bathroom lights5. Hand6. Hall/play area...let's focus on that dump truck....shall we?
7. Shower curtain...they both love the monkey theme...of course we did the monkey theme because they act like monkeys when in the bath tub...go figure.
8. Dump truck...there were actually 4 more pictures of that truck, but I opted to only show you all one angle. Apparently the boys like that truck.

Note to self...put camera up after use....in a locked cabinet or drawer.

I wish I had a picture

2010-02-15T22:07:00.002-05:00

After having a few friends over last Saturday night, I was told this was a good story to post...I just wish I had a picture to go with it. So let me set the stage for you:

Brayden is addicted to toothpaste. He is like a heat seeking missile, only with toothpaste. He will find every tube and walk around with his pinkie stuck in the top and then lick his pinkie every 5 minutes and say "mmmm mommie". Thankfully he mostly does this with his and Ryan's "toddler" toothpaste that is fluoride free. Occasionally he sneaks in to our bathroom and ends up with Tim's crest sensitive or my Colgate.

About two weeks ago, Ryan decided that he needed the entire new roll of toilet paper I had put in their bathroom to clean up some poop he had dropped on the floor, so he literally put the entire roll in the toilet and then came running out with his underwear around his ankles asking for help because the toilet water was "coming out to get me". So I get the plunger out and plunge everything down. Mistake number 1: leaving the plunger in the boys bathroom by the toilet when I'm done.

So a little over a week ago, Tim and I were getting some little jobs done around the house. Tim was in Brayden's room fixing the curtain rod that was crooked and drooping in the middle and I was in our bathroom trying to fix the drain on the sink. The boys were playing in the play room in the middle of the upstairs (between the rooms Tim and I were in). I could hear giggling and talking and everything sounded fine...we all know that silence is deadly with little ones and there was no silence to be heard, so I wasn't stressed. When all of a sudden, Tim comes charging into our bathroom with Brayden in hand.

He was SOAKED and stood there with the biggest grin on his face. "No, mommie". Tim said he found Brayden in his bathroom playing with the plunger in the toilet...splashing all the water out and then sticking the plunger into his mouth like he had to taste to make sure whatever he was making was good. To make it better, as Brayden was playing with the plunger, Ryan was standing behind him, with my toothpaste, squirting it on the top of Brayden's head.

I just laughed. Tim didn't think it was that funny, but I found out 2 things: 1) Brayden will be able to help unclog our toilets now and 2) he gets his daily allotment of germs, so I know his immune system is ok!

I still can't stop laughing.

Any takers???

2010-02-12T09:13:00.003-05:00

This is the first big race of the season for me...Washington Half Iron. I've got 3 more months, but I'm excited. Check it out, I know somebody wants to join Tim and I out there, right? It's being run by a great company (FS Series) and is in a nice town (Washington NC). Should be a super fast course, as it's all flat. Tim did the Oly distance they held there last year. It went so well they added the half earlier in the season.

Couldn't ask for a better event planning company to put it on, the staff are friendly, professional and accommodating! I absolutely love them! I've actually made it a point to have most of my races with them this year. It doesn't hurt that my coach has his swim series through them as well...hehe. http://fsseries.com/index.php?action=calendar&type=8

We Won the LOTTERY!!!!!

2010-02-11T18:59:00.003-05:00

Oh heck yeah! That's what I'm talking about. What the heck has the family I married into done to convince me that the name Gautreau=bad luck. NO SIR! I called Tim this morning and said, I'm on my way to enter the lottery and he just said matter of factly "Well don't get disappointed." I politely responded "Don't bring your bad luck on me, I have good luck." he said "You're a Gautreau now, you don't have luck."

Well I simply asked him to send positive thoughts my way...and I don't know if he did but we won! It's wasn't money, but we won....two spots in a treasured church daycare starting in September. hehehe. Sorry to disappoint you readers out there. Apparently these places start registration now for September classes. And this particular church has really, Really good reviews and they do enrollment for open spots in the following priority:

1. church members with returning kids
2. church members
3. family of church members
4. non church members with returning kids
5. public first time enrollers

I happen to land in category 5, so there were limited spots as I got there today anyway. So as you turn in registration forms, they assign you a number and then numbers are put into a pot and drawn randomly. So I got number 20 to begin with and was the 19th person called from the lottery. Luckily most of the people called infront of me were registering girls or I would have been SOL.

On top of that, the 4 and 5 yr. classes are the hardest to get in to. Tim and I wanted something for Ryan to do a half day (9-12) two or three days/week starting around August to help prepare for kindergarten. This place is literally less than half the cost of our other day care program that was similar. At the other place we could have gone back for two days (9:30 to 12:30) for $275/month. This church, let's just say that I can get 5 days a week (9-12) for about half of that cost. Plus the parents rave about the teachers and the set up.

I'm excited. Ryan's in the Tuesday/Thursday class but wait listed for the MWF class. I actually got the last spot for him. And Brayden is in the MW class, but wait listed for the T/TH class. Brayden was the next to last spot. The goal is to try and get them going on the same days so mommy has more time to work and clean house. We'll see how that goes.

Amen for the Barnes good luck. Gautreau's I'm gonna take back the bad luck and we're starting over. Maybe next time it will be for money!

Uwharrie 20 mile trail race: Pictures

2010-02-10T20:46:00.011-05:00

For the grandparents:
Breakfast in the car at 0'dark thirty. 40 milers had started but not made it to mile 2 yet.

After breakfast and the 40 milers made it past us at mile 2, we needed to play, first in the car...then we got out to play a little while waiting for daddy.
Here comes daddy at mile 2...in the lead. Notice the smile, well trust me, there was a huge smile. Probably more so because he was fresh than in the lead.

Mile 8: I refer to as "no man's land". Tim ran off course twice and fell back to 11th and scared the crap out of me because he wasn't with the lead 20 milers as they came through. The facial expression was one more of "eh, oh well". No shots of the boys at mile 8, they were throwing sticks and beating up trees while I was capturing daddy on camera.Mile 11: "Is this over yet?" or "King of off course", pick your title. Still in 11th place, but went off course again. Notice the look of disgust. No pictures of the boys here because there was no place at this marker to actually play. It was only a road crossing, so they were in the car while I poked my head out to take a picture.

Tim finished 11th overall this year. Much better than the DNF from last year after the blisters and such. I missed the finish line photo because I was too busy taking the boys and their muddy, clay stained clothes to the car. They managed to throw rocks and clay at cars, eat the clay and try to push over a small tree in the national park. Yeah, I was "that parent" Saturday that could not control her children. Perhaps it was because they were cooped up in the car most of the day, or maybe the cold got to them...you know like how dogs go absolutely crazy in cold/snowy weather. Anyhow, I could have sworn it was a full moon that day or so I hoped. At least that would have given me an excuse. No such luck. They were just bad.

Where's mommy

2010-02-02T08:45:00.002-05:00

Last night Tim and I went over to the neighbors house to watch House and 24. Ryan went with us to play with their kids; it was a good time for the family.

At some point during House, Ryan came meandering downstairs and looked right at me asking some question like "what are you doing?" To which our neighbor Shauna replied "Ryan, where's your mommy?" Ryan looked at her confused and then started looking around the room. "Ryan, is your mommy in the chimney?" Ryan again looked at Shauna, then walked over to the chimney, bent over and then looked up the chimney as best he could. This went on for a good 2 or 3 minutes. The entire time I was just rolling on the couch laughing loudly and he never looked at me or came over there. Even after he had seen me originally.

Finally, I called his name and told him to come over and give me a hug. He just let out a little giggle. I'm glad that my 3.5 year old son can still be 3.5 years old and isn't so grown that he doesn't believe the insane requests of a joking adult. It's just so darn cute. I love that little boy so much.

1 Month Down and 8 more to go

2010-01-31T19:07:00.004-05:00

Well, I'm now finished with the first month of "official" IM training. Until this week I hadn't missed a workout. Then the "ick" started knocking on my door Tuesday and I replied "the lady of the house is not home." Wednesday, I said "I'm not interested". But the thing about the "ick" is that it is the most persistent creature I know. So by Thursday I had invited it in for a cup of hot chocolate and missed my run. Then Friday was my day off, and the "ick" was polite enough to leave me alone temporarily. Saturday was a good workout, then the "ick" came back and said "uh hum, excuse me Angela. I enjoyed the hot chocolate so much, I'd like to stay for dinner and wait out the snow storm with you since you were so generous." Me and my stinkin' generosity! So I had to miss my brick session today. I'm drugged up, delirious, tired and just feeling like complete dog poo.

I've come to find out over the years, that the "ick" is not such a good house guest. It sucks you in making you believe that your are so nice and loved (with a false quick courtship) and then just smacks you around like a red headed step child bringing you back to the reality, that you too will eventually fall victim to it's inevitable filth and disgusting ways.

So to the "ick" I say...like the distant cousin that doesn't know when to leave...you are no longer welcome in my house. Please leave before I take drastic measures and call the doctor and really kick your @$$. Thank you and have a nice day. I'm ready to be back on training track thank you very much.

And before I completely forget...I haven't heard but I'm pretty sure that Dan and Natalie have had their baby. I'd love to know the stats and how things are going for you both. Natalie, hope you're feeling well and enjoying motherhood as much as you possibly can the first month!

Winter wonderland

2010-01-30T13:46:00.013-05:00

This is what our Saturday morning was like today...sledding in, what is referred to as "the village" by all the neighbors. So the "villagers" were out in mass numbers this morning.

mommy, ryan and brayden. Notice who always has their eyes closed? But he loves it and can't wait to go again.

Alex, Brayden and Ryan in the wagon.

Me and Shauna

Mommy and Ryan on the linoleum sled...we ran out of regular sleds and had so many people that some of the neighbors (uh hum..Jonathan) decided to get old linoleum. By the way, it was the best slide out there for sure...except that your butt felt every bump on the way down.

Again, Ryan with his eyes closed!

Oh, I was wrong...the one shot with his eyes open, but notice there is no sled. He's on his bottom scooting down inches at a time. He so got that from me!I lovingly refer to this as the Brayden sandwich shot.

Big boys left to their own devices...we adults had as much fun as the kids. These are some of our neighbors Jonathan and Brian.
And following suit are Stephanie and Shauna...can't leave the girls out!

So all was well until Ryan threw snow and it hit Brayden in the face. Then it started snowing again and Brayden had had enough. So we came home, dried off and had some home made broccoli and cheese soup! Yum. Now Tim is watching Goodfellas with Chris and I'm about to embark on a 90 minute treadmill run in the garage while the kids nap. We've got poker and MMA tonight at our house. It should be a fun way to survive the snow storm...well at least for us it is one.

Little Green Thumb

2010-01-27T10:10:00.002-05:00

Today is "Mommy/Ryan Day" as Brayden spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa last night and will not return until lunch time. When asked what he wanted to do today he replied "plant flowers." Uh, well it is the middle of winter and it is cold out but I knew immediately that he would not accept fake flowers or indoor planting...that's just not Ryan. Do it right or don't do it at all is he theory and he's too smart to pull one over on.

So off to Lowes this morning. We found some beautiful dark blood red pansies for our hanging porch baskets and some deep purple/white pansies for the flour beds out front. The next thing out of his smart little mouth "mom, we can't plant flowers without some water, they need water to grow. I think I need this sponge bob watering can." Seriously how do you say no? So we got the watering can. But I stopped him from getting the planting gloves, the spade and the pumpkin seeds...he was on a roll.

The entire car ride home he was so excited about planting his flowers and watering them...but I knew what was about to happen and he didn't let me down. When we got home, he helped with the first one and then sat down and said "I'm so proud of you mom, you're doing such a good job planting my flowers." And he just watched. Well, he kept yelling to the neighborhood "Hey everybody, come look at my pretty flowers." Then he proceeded to sing happy birthday to me at the top of his lungs for 15 minutes while I finished. He hasn't gotten the concept that birthdays are only one day. Oh well, it was fun and he sings really well so how can I complain.

Now he's on his third oatmeal, raisin almond cookie and I've got to hide the rest of them so daddy can have some tonight. I love Mommy/Ryan day!

Busy is still to come

2010-01-20T19:12:00.003-05:00

I knew heading in to 2010 it was going to be hectic, working 20 hrs/week from home, at home full time with the boys, Tim training for his marathon and 1/2 IMs and me trying to train for IM. But I never really knew HOW hectic it would be and probably don't know the full extent of it yet.

Since I've started working with Marty from OSB, my days have been very regimented and for me, structure is the way that I thrive. I need that schedule and I can knock stuff out with the best of them. And so it's been that way since the new year. I find myself more motivated knowing that somebody else is holding me accountable and less likely to say "well I can just squeeze it in tomorrow". Doesn't work like that now, there is no room to play "catch up" later, I either do or don't. Right now I do.

Don't get me wrong, I've already used the "I'm really tired, maybe I can just double up tomorrow" with Tim and he politely said "you'll thank yourself in September if you do it now." Right he was, I thanked myself later that night actually.

But back to the busy. Because of all this training for both Tim and I, it's hard and will probably continue to get even more difficult to do fun things or just spend some good old fashioned one on one time with each other. Not that it will come to a complete stop, just another thing to juggle. I need my Jo time (My nickname for Tim). Here's my day:

4:45am: Tim leaves for work
5am: get up to work before boys wake up
7am: Boys wake up, breakfast and play and trips out/ clean/ laundry
10am: round boys up to head to gym
11am: work out
12:30pm: lunch
1pm: boys down for quiet time and I work some more
2:30pm: Tim home and either I keep working or workout again depending on the day
3pm: boys up from nap more play time
4:30pm: start dinner and clean up
5pm: dinner and time with boys and Tim
6:30pm: bath time
7pm: Boys in bed and time to either work again or workout again depending on the day
9pm: downstairs to clean kitchen and spend time with Tim
10pm: Bed time

Weekends are an absolute mess. Between Tim's need for 2 hours or more of running right now and my need for 1.5 to 2.5 hours both days right now, it's crazy. Luckily I have wonderful parents that are willing and love to watch the boys for us almost whenever we need it. Which works out great for days like this Saturday when both Tim and I need a long run (with hills), so we get to go run together while grandma and grandpa watch the boys.

I can already tell how important Tim's nudging and flexibility with my schedule and my parents helping out with the boys is going to be for the success of my IM in September. I honestly don't know how some of you do these longer races. It's more than just time consuming. It's energy depleting, mind numbing, family time taking, snuggle time breaker, meal time stealer, fun time snatcher and oh yeah....probably the biggest of all, ultimate experience maker! I can't wait. I just hope my nerves can make it through the next 8 months and all the business and chaos that is sure to ensue.

"Booo'd" at mile 2

2010-01-16T20:17:00.002-05:00

Let me set it up for you. Tim and I are in Nashville NC visiting his family. He had a duathlon today in Greenville so it worked out well for a nice family visit. After getting back from his race at 3:30 this afternoon, I had to get my run in...slated was an hour and twenty minutes, increasing speed basically.

It was like a scene out of Forrest Gump...you know the scene I'm talking about; back country roads, open plowed land where crops have been harvested and resting for the winter, a large country house with fence, dogs and various other live stock. It was cloudy and the temp was quickly dropping from the days high of 50. 3:45 and off I go. 1 mile and feeling good, then right as I hit mile 2, I pass a cow pasture infront of a large country house. They were quietly eating grass and as the first one noticed me, he moved to the fence and "MOOOO". Then following was the other 10...and not only did they "moo" or "boo" me, they actually started running with me along the fence line. Crazy cows...what's up, so I "Moooo'd" back at them and they stopped and looked at me like I was a "crazy human".

Phew, glad there was a fence. So fast forward to mile 8 and I pass goats...and they start "baaaa" and trotting around. Okay, was the world taken over by aliens or something. Or have these animals never seen a person run before.

Anyhow, finished the run and was greeted by Brayden "Mommie, my mommie, i uh you." What a way to finish a run. Chicken wings and a sub followed by playing some Wii game with drums and a microphone with Ryan.

Time for sleep.

Out of virtual into reality

2010-01-15T05:45:00.004-05:00

I can't say that I'm just meeting people that I know from blogging since I'd known Bri, Marty and had met Rebecca once before. But I had the chance to meet Alicia yesterday for a short run. Now I can say that I was a bit intimidated by the idea of running with her...well you know, you've seen the race results so you know why and you may be asking yourselves "how on earth did that work?"...well it's this nice little thing called a jogging stroller. Hehe.

Alicia assured me that we would be about a 9:30 to 10 minute pace, and since I was slated for an easy run, this sounded good to me. After Tim so graciously got off work early yesterday, I was able to head over to Durham to meet Alicia at her house for a neighborhood stroll. I don't know if it was the excitement of running with somebody else or if I felt I needed to work harder because it was her, but our first mile was pretty dang fast. We slowed it down after that but ended up at a 8:12 average over just over 31 minutes. Faster than it needed to be but a great run for me.

I'm not much of a conversationalist, especially when running...I need every little bit of oxygen to go directly to work and not be wasted, so I don't think I was as talkative as I would have like to have been, but it was really nice getting to meet somebody for blog land. And after meeting her, Alicia is a very down to earth and warm person. Absolutely no reason for intimidation...unless you plan on racing her and that, I have no ill guided fantasies about.

So, hopefully I'll get to meet others of you, if I knew who you all were, or if I were ever in the state where you all live. But there's an ugly little rumor that a few of you have signed up for the Valentine's Day Marathon Massacre in Greensboro...Tim and I will be there again this year AND I am volunteering at the Tobacco Road Marathon and 1/2 Marathon in March. So sign up people!

Training vs. Racing

2010-01-12T22:42:00.004-05:00

I'm not a training person at all. Don't get me wrong, it feels good and keeps me energized; but I find it very tough mentally. I contribute most of this to the fact that I have absolutely no training partners. I fly solo 100% of the time and that my friends is devastating.

Even when I attend the Tuesday night track sessions, there are other people, but none apparently that run my pace. I mean there are those that are running my pace, but when I've asked several of them if I can run with them...they actually told me no. Who does that? Seriously, are track groups that selective? Wow, get a grip people, we're all out here for the same reasons.

A while back I posted about a friend that I met a few times for long rides on the weekends, but that only lasted for 3 rides if I remember correctly. So no bike partners either. It's frustrating because I don't want to have to slow down too much to get people to train with, but at the same time...I can't keep up with the majority of the people around here. And as for swimming, if you consider the 70-90 year olds that do the water walking in the lanes beside me company, well then I don't even have an argument and should just stop this rant now.

Tim has on occasion tried to run with me and even once we biked together, but it's agonizing for him (or at least I imagine it is) because my 5K pace is still slower than his warm up...so it just doesn't jive well. The bike is marginally better but let's not kid ourselves I just can't keep up with him over a course of any decent distance.

My problem then lies here: To get better, I need to be pushed and quite honestly, there is only so much pushing I can do on my own. I need to be around people who are slightly better than me or at least my same ability level so that we can push off of each other. What's a girl gotta do???? Is there a website or something I can go to for hooking up with training partners? Throw me a bone, somebody please.

And this is why I like racing more than training. In a race, I am surrounded by people; faster, slower, equal and the spectators. I'm never alone in my experience, I'm surrounded by like mind individuals and can pull off of every one's energy, story and motivation; not just my own. Racing rocks, training sucks! :P... Sorry for the sour post.

Happy Birthday

2010-01-10T10:35:00.002-05:00

Today I turn 32. And to my recollection, I've had some pretty awesome birthdays before...mostly with family. I never tend to really 'celebrate' my birthdays as much more than family and maybe a few friends. But this year I decided to have some girlfriends over last night when Tim said "I wanted to host a poker tournament on Saturday".

Well dang...let's just make a gathering of it shall we? And we did. Work friends, girlfriends, poker friends, and neighbors. It was a lot of people, and if you read this blog with any frequency, when the crowd gets much over 5 people, I get overwhelmed and clam up. Not last night. We had close to 30 people show, in addition to 6-10 kids. It was so nice. Kids running around, playing, eating, adults chatting, drinking and laughing. Awesome. I had a blast actually. The most fun I've had on at a birthday function of this size in a long time. The only thing I really got uncomfortable with was Tim calling attention to me so everyone would sing happy birthday...not a fan of being in the spotlight, so that was a little weird...but nice.

Don't get me wrong, I still prefer the small family gatherings, but the big party served my mental state well last night. Maybe it's because I've come to know all these people through small gatherings that I didn't mind it getting so large, but needless to say it was more than enjoyable.

So to anyone who reads the blog that also stopped by last night, a huge THANK YOU for the well wishes and making my birthday a great day!!!

Full Circle

2010-01-08T22:32:00.002-05:00

My conversation with Ryan this morning in the car: let me preface by saying that I took the Christmas tree down yesterday and put it in the garage until trash pick up next week. So it's in the stand in the garage with my car.

R: Mommy, why is the tree in the garage?
M: Christmas is over, it's time to take it down.
R: Why is Christmas over? Where is Santa?
M: Christmas is baby Jesus' birthday; our birthday is only one day and now Santa went back to the North Pole.
R: Oh, right mommy. I think Santa must be tired from bringing me all my toys. Will I get more toys from Santa?
M: Well, only if you stay on the 'Nice' list. Santa keeps a 'Nice' list and a 'Naughty' list of all the little boys and girls.
R: Well mommy, I'm a big boy...I'm not naughty. Naughty is bad, right mommy?
M: Yes, naughty means bad. But you were a good boy this year so Santa brought you presents. Santa watches us all year to make sure we're being good and he talks to mommies and daddies to see if "big boys" are being good or bad.
R: Mommy, will you tell Santa I'm a good boy so I can get a robot next Christmas?
M: I can do that.

15 minutes later in the car:
R: Mommy, Santa must be tired, I think he's fishing to feel better. He's using his fishing pole and putting his feet up in his boat.
M: Is that how Santa relaxes?
R: yeah, but we have to be careful so he doesn't pull the trees down when he's fishing. Mommy, why are those men pulling the trees down? Are they taking down those Christmas trees because it's not a birthday anymore?
M: (we passed construction of a new highway where they are clearing trees out) They are making room for a road. What do you think they will use the trees for?
R: To make Santa's fishing pole, silly mommy.
M: What else can we use the wood for? Maybe to make houses, boats, or a fire in the fireplace?
R: Oh no mommy, we don't make fire. Fire is a bad word. We have to call the fire mans so they can put the fire out like this...stop drop roll, mommy. Can you say 'stop, drop, roll?
M: Stop, drop roll.
R: No mommy, you're not saying it right. Say 'stop, drop, and roll arrow pointing up.'
M: (he was looking at a street sign with an arrow pointing up) 'stop, drop, and roll arrow pointing up.'
R: good job mommy, that's right. Now we stopped the fire and Santa can have his fishing pole so he can rest and bring me my robot because I'm a good boy on the nice list because I stopped the fire.

3 hours later at home
M: Ryan, what are the next three steps?
R: Lunch, my video game, and then quiet time
M: Good job buddy. Let's finish all our lunch okay?
R: Mommy, thank you for making my lunch for me. You're a good girl, I'm going to tell Santa that you are on the 'nice' list then he will bring you a robot too on Christmas. Okay? Now let's take a nap so I can have quiet time and talk to Santa.

Seriously, how would I ever win a battle with him???

Dusted off the goggles

2010-01-04T20:54:00.002-05:00

Well it was my first swim since B2B, 2 months ago. Let me start by saying that the beautiful pool that I posted a picture of a while back, where Tim and I went to master's class...that place is no longer in our plans. We did some math and turns out it's cheaper for us to join a wellness center owned by the hospital that has complete gym facilities (pool included) rather than pay for 3 swims/week only at the aquatic center. Sucks because the pool at the wellness center is a 5 lane, 25 yard, warmer (that's a plus), salt water pool. I actually like the warmer water and salt water (shocking right?) but only because it's easier on the swim gear, my hair and my skin.

So tonight, I got to the pool, licked the inside of my goggles and to my dismay, there was still salt from the B2B race in them...yuck. Then I get in the water, in only 10 seconds. Amazing, it normally takes me no less than 5 minutes to get in the pool at the aquatic center because of the temperature. I start my workout and wow...I can still swim. Arms were a little heavy but it felt good.

Not only have I dusted off my goggles, but the boys have dusted them off too. I've got to get a picture of it, but Brayden decided that he wanted to wear the neon green kid goggles we bought this summer, to the bank. Tim and I went to take care of some things and Brayden walked into the bank with his goggles on, in the middle of the freezing cold, no hat but neon green goggles. The looks we got were priceless. He's on a glasses kick....goggles, sunglasses, mr. potato head glasses...he wants to wear them all. Very cute, very funny and hard to take life seriously when you see him in any of them.

The Three D's

2010-01-02T11:41:00.002-05:00

Desire, determination and dedication. That's what Coach Lamb always taught us girls for softball in high school. You've got to have the desire to accomplish something new and challenging, the determination to carry you through the training and preparation and the dedication to stay with it regardless of what obstacles arise. So that's my mantra from now until I cross the finish line on September 25th.

After two months off, I feel rested, rejuvenated and revitalized. I'm ready to go. To start it off, I watched the broadcast of Ironman World championships 2009 last night with Tim. As always, very inspiring and motivating. And now I begin my quest to join the lot of you Ironmen out there.

I've received my first week's worth of workouts from Coach Marty! I'm excited to get started. I just hope the boys are excited as I am when they have to play in the garage while I bike and run...well it just depends on when I fit it in.

Merry Christmas to everyone and happy new year! Here's to a wonderful start to 2010.

Mish Mash

2009-12-18T13:27:00.002-05:00

Tim and I have been going to a TON of holiday gatherings over the last week. First it was our neighborhood, which was great. I finally got to meet everyone that Tim met months ago at the Friday night parties. All in all, it seems like a really great group of people in our neighborhood. We got lucky this time, our last neighborhood was just filled with old, non social and rude, creepy people; not to mention no kids for the boys to play with. It is the exact opposite on all accounts now. YEAH for Crocketts Ridge!!

Then we hosted poker night this week, not really a holiday party but it's rare for us to host and Tim loves to host. He's now got a dedicated room, table, tv and a house big enough to accommodate.

Last night was the FS Series party. They are a local event production company that put on most of the races Tim and I compete in. It was really nice to get out and be social. Speaking for myself, I was proud of me for actually talking to people. Granted I stayed in the same corner and they had to come to my table, they were mostly coming to talk to others at my table but hey, I still joined in the conversations. Usually I'm a stick in the mud and only talk to Tim and one or two other people. We actually won a door prize, comp entry into a duathlon in January. We never win things...maybe our luck is changing...first the new neighborhood now a door prize. What is going on here.

As we were at the party last night, I noticed a woman that I had seen at so many races over the last two years, as a spectator for her husband. I thought she had a familiar face, but I couldn't place her. Last night I noticed that she was pregnant, due January 7th, if I remember correctly. Apparently her and her husband read the blog, so hello to you Dan and Natalie and congratulations on your first child. On the way home, Tim enlightened me that we used to play flag football against Natalie, no wonder I had the familiar feeling. Tim said he felt like crap because anyone that knows him from flag football most definitely does not have a good opinion of him. So for anyone that fits that category, I can honestly tell you that my husband is not that man any more.

Last random thought. I just wanted to clarify that Brayden is not trying to potty train himself yet. He's just trying to imitate Ryan. Which I suppose is better than nothing. But realistically he's just playing right now. I hope he's not as hard to potty train as Ryan simply because he can watch Ryan but let's be honest, little boys just don't train that easily. Seriously, we've been working with Ryan for almost a year and we're still having to play up pooping in the toilet because he'd be fine with sitting in his own filth if left up to him to decide. Maybe 4 is a magic age, temper tantrums and pooping go away...maybe???

It's official

2009-12-16T21:49:00.007-05:00

As of yesterday, I am signed up for my first IM. I'm going to do the Chesapeake IM in Maryland on September 25th. A few things led to the decision to pick this race: 1) It was "early" in the season and not in November, 2) It's flat and most importantly 3) the coin landed on heads and tails would have gotten me into the Redman IM in Oklahoma. I'm excited and ready.

In other news, this is my second week at home with the boys and it's been great so far. I can't say that it's been full of "fun" yet as it seems that it's taking me a long time to just get general up-keep of the house caught up. Believe it or not, we've haven't unpacked everything from the move back in July. But the most exciting thing...is my first Christmas present. I've already gotten them from my parents. I wanted built in book shelves for around our fireplace to fill the void and viola...what do you think? Unfortunately I didn't take before pictures...but they are awesome!
Other than that, our first few weeks have been crazy. We've made a gingerbread house. See the nice little smiley face Ryan made on the roof?

We're also seeing how Brayden wants to be just like his big brother...he's already trying to go pee on the potty and he's pulling his pants down and up by himself...he can't quite get them back up. I missed my boys.

Two days left

2009-12-02T15:43:00.002-05:00

Until I'm at home with the boys full time. Granted, I will be working 15-20 hours a week, from home. But the boys will not be in day care or staying with dad at all from now on. I'm pretty sure dad is ready to really enjoy his retirement now as he said "I'm just thinking of when I can go fishing." when I told him of my plan to stay at home with the boys. He'll probably still even come and take one of them away every now and then. I'm sure that will be good for everyone involved.

This won't be that much different from before when I was working part-time. The only difference is that now I don't have to go in to the office at all. Back to getting up when Tim leaves in the morning to get a few hours of work in before the fun with the boys starts. I'm excited. I've missed my boys tremendously the past few months.

I've become one of them :(

2009-11-23T19:25:00.004-05:00

When I was younger, the best time of year started in October. The excitement of Halloween, then the buzz of Thanksgiving and best of all, the family and smell of Christmas. Each one getting their due respect and time in the stores, in our minds and in our hearts. Each one had their own day, not over shadowed by the next but enjoyed thoroughly before the next one began to gear up.

It's much different now. They have Christmas decorations out before Halloween costumes hit the shelves these days. It's like "the man" doesn't want us to enjoy Halloween and Thanksgiving. Or maybe they think that the extra time in the store with Christmas stuff will mean more money for them because kids have more time to look. I don't know. But I despise it! I want them each, separately and completely.

But this year was different. I found myself last week getting Christmas decorations out. I've already put up things in the house, hung the wreath and garland, and figurines. The only thing we're missing are the tree, lights outside and the stockings. Part of me felt obligated to dress the house up for Thanksgiving since everyone is coming over to our house this year, but part of me just wanted the boys to be able to enjoy it all before we leave for Christmas.

We are going to Gonzales Louisiana for Christmas to spend time with Tim's dad's family. It's actually the first time I'm going to get to meet most of them. Only two of his uncles were able to make it to the wedding and since then there's just been one reason or another that we haven't gotten down there. But I'm excited. I'm excited for myself about meeting more family, I'm excited for Tim to get to see family that he hasn't seen in such a long time, but I'm most excited that the boys will be able to meet their aunts, uncles, cousins and great grandma Gautreau.

Now, if the next 5 weeks would pass quickly we can get the 15 hour car ride out of the way and have some fun.

My time off

2009-11-18T22:03:00.002-05:00

1. From sport has been great for the past 2 weeks. The first week after B2B 1/2 IM, I did absolutely nothing except eat. I started running again this week but otherwise, I'm enjoying the rest and family time.

2. From work is about to get more abundant....in that I have quit my job. Completely quit. December 4th is officially my last day and as of Monday December 7th, I will be at home full time with the boys. I'm excited. Many things led to this decision, but ultimately it came down to the boys and what's best for them.

3. From blogging has been a direct result of being torn in too many directions over the last month with training, racing, family, work, and rest. So now, I need the cliff notes for every one's blogs. Wow I missed a ton.

4. Is getting me excited about the reality of planning for my first IM race next season and working with Marty and/or Bri!

5. May turn into well needed time as we may get busier than we anticipated this holiday season...more to come, maybe??

Beach 2 Battleship Half: Race Report

2009-11-07T19:24:00.002-05:00

What a day. Since they put the full and the half on at the same time, at the same venue, half participants are treated like full participants; in that we have to be there at 5 or 5:30 even though we don't get to start our race till 8:30 or later. So that part sucked. The only complaint other than that was that it was a logistical nightmare by any one's standards. There were two separate transition areas about 8-10 miles apart...I'll let you think about that. But I loved the feel of this race. The volunteers, staff, participants, spectators, just great. Fantastic.

So my swim start was 8:45. I have to say that I don't like salt water, never have and after this, never will. Other than the current (so strong) and the buoyancy, I swallowed so much of it and that combined with the chop made me nauseous the entire swim. But the cool thing was my swim time and the swimsuit strippers. Ha, never had that before, seen it, but never had it. They are GOOD.

T1 was about a 1/4 mile from where we exit the water, running over asphalt and before we left we had to put all our swim stuff into a bag for race staff to pick up later and transport to the finish line. Note, we had a "pre-race swim bag" that had whatever we took to the swim start (not by T1, about a 3 minute trolley ride down the sound) which also had to be taken to the finish. Anyhow. Bike was good. I had to wear soccer socks and arm warmers and my toes were numb upon getting off the bike in T2 but it was a good effort for me. I found myself passing more people than normal and only getting passed by a few. I felt strong in the legs the entire ride and aside from my neck being stiff and a little saddle sore.

Tangent: to all you bike snotrockett blowers out there...before you blow your next snotrockett make sure you have not just passed someone. Um twice on this ride, I got snot in my face. Yuk!

T2 found me handing my bike off to someone to rack...again a first for me and I liked it! Much faster than T1 but I forgot the sunscreen, a big Uh Oh...meaning number 11 I suppose. I felt good starting the run, more so than normal. I had my bike adjusted a short time back and it seems to have paid off. No walking on this run, not this time. My goal time was 5:30 and I knew that I couldn't walk if I wanted to meet that time, especially since my bike was slightly slower than I had wanted. I made it through 7 miles feeling well and then I started slowing down with every step. Finally as I cross the line. I didn't look at the time because I was scared. I was doubled over and some volunteer kept asking me if I was ok or needed medical attention. Uh, no...I just can't walk at the moment. When Tim got to the finish, he told me I was right at 5:45. Missed the goal but improved by about 33 minutes from the half I did in May. So I'm happy. 5:30 or under will come soon.

UH OH...

2009-11-02T21:27:00.003-05:00

This statement has so many meanings when coming from a child:

1. I dropped my spoon (fork, cup, etc.)
2. I flushed some small toy down the toilet
3. I broke something and now it doesn't work
4. I hit my brother and now he's crying and I'm going to get in trouble
5. I went poop or pee in my pants
6. I can't find mommie or daddy
7. I've smashed all the peas flat on the table and can't pick them up
8. I threw my peas and hit the dog
9. My shoe came off

But the most recent and my least favorite.....

10. When followed by violent coughing "Ugghhh", it means I just threw up 3 meals, 8 cups of milk/juice and the tire of the toy car that I bit off before I dropped it in said toilet of #2 mentioned above.

I've heard "uh oh" from Brayden too much this weekend and mostly with the #10 meaning. Pour little guy got so used to vomiting that it didn't scare him anymore; he just simply (with no emotion) said "Uh oh".

MIA

2009-10-31T22:31:00.002-04:00

I honestly don't know where the past two weeks have gone, only that I've been really busy, really tired, dealing with a virus making it's way around the family for the second time in the past 2 months and did I mention tired?

So this, the weekend before our last tri of the season, Tim and I took a long weekend and brought the kids to Asheville. I'm getting to meet some of Tim's friends from college for the first time and we get to see the leaves changing in the mountains! Tomorrow is a first for me, a trip to Biltmore Estate. I'm excited. But today was a great family day...our first time going trick or treating with Ryan (and Brayden). Ryan has not gone before, for one reason or another, but tonight we met some of Tim's college friends with their son and another couple and went trick or treating. In the rain and cold, but by golly we did it. Ryan screaming to be picked up and wanting to "go home" the entire time, but we did it. Brayden throwing up in the car on the way home from too much sugar and still a little virus, but we did it.

Now I'm going to do something else, go to bed. Did I tell you that I'm tired? Got to get plenty of rest for B2B next weekend. I'll try to post some pictures of the boys soon.

Little helpers.

2009-10-16T19:17:00.007-04:00

Ryan absolutely loves to cook. So earlier this week when I asked him what he wanted mommy to make, he said "pumpkin pie, it's my favorite." Uh, mommy doesn't have the stuff for pumpkin pie right now, but I'll get some for tomorrow, what else do you want. "Pancakes." That's the default answer.

So I got stuff for pumpkin pie. Here's the best shot we got.Ryan of course missed the bowl a few times when pouring ingredients in (as he just likes to wildly flip the measuring cup in the air without aiming) and Brayden didn't get the concept of stirring means leaving the spoon in the bowl...so a lot of the mix was all over the counter.

They both enjoyed fresh pumpkin pie after it cooked though.

Up or down?

2009-10-13T21:31:00.004-04:00

I've always heard women complain about their significant others or brothers or sons (what have you) leaving the toilet seat up. I can honestly say that I don't even need 1 hand to count the number of times it's been an issue since Tim and I have been together. Maybe once or twice in the middle of the night or something.

So I swore that I would teach the boys to put the toilet seat back down after peeing. And they both do. I say both even though Brayden isn't potty training, he still sits on the little training toilet on occasion and then puts the lid down when he sees Ryan do it. And Ryan, never misses a time. There's been instances where I'm trying to rush to get him to bed or get him dressed for school and he'll tell me "Mommy, wait...I have to put the top down slllloooowwwwllly, like this." As he inches the top down for 30 seconds so not to slam it down. I'm quite proud actually.

So if I don't have an issue with a 31 year old man, a 3 year old and a 17 month old, what's up with the ladies at work? Seriously, have you ever known a woman to put the toilet seat up after she's done using the restroom??? Well we have one at work. And until a few days ago, nobody knew who it was. We would all come out and say "are we sure the guys aren't going into our restroom." Is there a transgender female working here (my apologies if that offends anyone). But we just couldn't figure out why a woman would do it.

I mean most women are so picky about cleanliness in the bathroom that they use the toilet covers and use their feet to flush the dang toilet; so why would you touch the seat??? I don't get it. But last week I walked in the bathroom to find the stalls were full. The first one out, the new old lady (mid 60s), 5ft2 and frail looking...and what did I see, the toilet seat up. I found myself wanting to ask her why she does it. But I just thought it was inappropriate and ridiculous to even care about it. I don't know why it bothers me, but every time I see the seat up I think somebody with a penis has been in our restroom.

Just put it down...slllloooowwwlllyy.

What a weekend

2009-10-12T17:51:00.002-04:00

It was one for the books I tell you. We were everywhere. It all started Thursday when I "worked from home" since they boys daycare was closed for a teacher work day. Let me tell you that not much work got done. Brayden left that night to go with his Nina and Papa to the beach (by himself) while Ryan got some mommy and daddy time.

Friday was traveling to Nashville (NC) and back to drop dogs off, picking up cars at the airport, packing for Pinehurst and socializing with neighbors...well at least Tim did. I headed to bed to try and get some sleep.

Saturday morning bright and early, time to head to Pinehurst for my Oly distance. Well it was more than that...seeing as how both the swim and the bike were longer than usual. The swim, not purposely (I hope) was about 2-3 minutes slow from what I can tell so whatever that translates into meter wise I don't really know. The bike, they extended to 30 miles, I'm guessing to get their own evil pleasure out of watching everyone suffer on what was already a hilly 25 mile course. The new 30 mile course was even hillier if you ask me. But I'm a hill wuss, so you probably shouldn't. And then there was the run. They reversed the course from years past, which seemed more difficult. If not for the extended bike, then due to the fact that there seemed to be more up hills in reverse if that's possible.

All in all, I'm very pleased with my effort on Saturday. It was painful, slow, painfully slow, but a good effort for me. I pushed as hard as I could on the bike through all the hills and then it took entirely too long to get my run legs. I think it was right at mile 3, maybe slightly before, that I started feeling ok. But those darn hills made me feel like a 75 year old decrepit woman, hunched over, swinging my arms violently from side to side at my waist line, just trying to get up the stinking things. I can say I didn't walk any on the run, because I was trying to get under 3 hours but I looked like I was walking I'm sure. Little did I know that the swim was long so my time was already blown. Oh well. Tim and Ryan were there to yell at me and I got to see Bri and Marty before the race. (Hopefully they'll be coaching me next year!) It was a nice day. Although I'm going on record to say that I will not race this course again, not even if they take the bike back down to 25 miles. It's just to hilly for me. Lovely ride and run, just too dang hilly. My efforts managed me 12/27 in my age group and about 72/196 overall women. Probably one of my better results in this series. It's more competitive than the other series we race.

The worst thing I saw was some guy passed out about 1/4 to .3 mile from the finish line. Pale face and lips, slightly shaking, out cold. EMT was just getting to him as I approached. I wanted so badly to ask them if I could just carry the guy the remaining 1/4 mile. That sucks to do all that work and then lose it that close to the finish.

We left directly from there to go to Topsail Island to see Nina and Papa and to rescue Brayden and cousin Madison (according to Ryan). It was almost 5 before we got there. Enough time to eat some food, take a shower and go to bed while everyone else watched football. Sunday brought a little more laziness, running in the waves and a 4 hour car ride home.

Now just under 4 weeks until B2B half. Crap I'm tired. I'm so jealous of everyone that's done and just enjoying being active for the sake of being active. I want to be lazy and eat peanut butter and marshmallow puff sandwiches while watching LMN all day in my pj's.

Two to Go

2009-10-07T19:21:00.000-04:00

That's right, still two more races till my season ends and my mini vacation from sport begins. I've got Pinehurst Olympic distance this weekend. After which, Tim and I are driving to the beach to spend the remainder of the weekend listening to waves crash on an empty shore.

Then I've got 4 weeks until the B2B half IM. So it'll be a concentrated month of October with high hopes for the first weekend of November. I'm excited. I've set all kinds of crazy stupid goals for myself, I just hope I'm able to stay healthy and be strong on race day.

Off season looks like it's going to be "not so off" season, as I'm hoping to really kick my running, swimming and strength training up a notch. Not all at once though. I've decided after I take a few weeks rest, I'm going to focus just on running for about 3 weeks, then swimming for 3 weeks, then biking for 3 weeks. But what I really need is to get my strength training going again. I haven't lifted or done any since around Aug or Sep of 2005. Sad, but true. It's a mental thing with me, maybe I haven't felt good with my racing/performance because I don't feel strong because I'm missing that one piece. I don't know. Maybe I'm making excuses.

No more excuses, that's going to be a new year resolution...starting in November. Whatever, somebody's new year starts in November, right? I mean China's isn't actually January 1st. So I'm declaring my own new year. November (date to be determined), resolutions: no more excuses, no more sugar (candy), lots more Sugar (smooches), and first IM. Sounds like a good year to me.

What makes you feel better?

2009-09-30T19:58:00.004-04:00

1. A 56 mile hard bike ride where I was the "lead" woman the entire ride. (Let's just not talk about the fact that I started the ride at the same time the triathletes started swimming.) For the first and probably last time I knew what it was like to ride behind the lead motorcycle on the course.

2. Another great track workout where I hit my 800s consistently under my goal. Followed by a great swim workout!

3. Ryan trying to make me not be sick today. "mommy do you feel ok?" No, buddy mommy doesn't feel good. "Mommy, I will get you some coffee that makes me feel better. Yeah coffee and candy, I will get you some."

4. A husband that recognizes I don't feel good and let's me rest while he picks up, cooks dinner, feeds kids and handles bed/bath time.

5. Seeing doggies get along.

In your face

2009-09-26T20:10:00.002-04:00

So Tim asked me Thursday night "you wanna do that cross country 5K in Greensboro Saturday with me?" Sure, I guess. "It'll be a good way to see how your 5K time is coming along." Sure, I guess.

So today overcast, temperature somewhere in low 60s, drizzling rain.
6:30 - wake up and make breakfast for the boys
8:45 - swim class with boys
9:45 - Tim aerates lawn while I take boys to grandma/grandpa's
10:45 - we leave for 5K in greensboro
12:00 - arrive in Greensboro at site
1215 - register for race
12:30- Race starts...
12:47:33 - Tim finishes 5K
12:54:33 -Angela finishes 5K

Oh you read it right, booo yowww. In your face 8 min. pace....24:33 a PR by exactly 1 minute from May. Sweet 7:55 pace....on a hilly (sort of) cross country course. Toot Toot! That's me tooting my own horn. I'm so happy. Sorry, I'm not normally this "out there" about my accomplishments, normally pretty modest and humble but I'm excited about this. This time came after my 90 minute run yesterday, in the ran with my trainers on.

When we got to this race, I was a little overwhelmed. It was huge. I found out as we were hustling to the start line that this race is one of the largest east coast invitationals for cross country for middle school, high school and smaller colleges. We registered for the "open" division, which normally presents itself with a wide range of ability levels...not so much today. I was standing at the start line, the only person not in a posed race position, not wearing a watch and I had to giggle. These people were serious and I knew I was going to get my butt kicked...by the good runners.

So I just tried to remember what Tim said in the car...
1) keep the first 1/2 mile easy, let everybody go, don't let them pull me with them. Check. I found myself feeling like I went out to fast but quickly realizing that I was next to last at the first little turn around. Were they really that much faster than me or was I going out too conservatively?
2)start to pick up pace at Mile 1 to 2. Check. So I busted my butt from mile 1 to 2 to make up some ground and over took about 4 or 5 people.
3)Try to go all out for the last mile...um half check. I remember seeing the mile 2 marker and thinking "seriously, what the hell?" I tried to push but honestly I think I was just working harder to keep the same pace. I popped out of the woods and saw Tim.

"You're at 24 mins....run Angela, you can break 25...run faster, use your arms, push." No crap...I am, aren't I? Am I? Did I? 24:33. Yes. Tim said it didn't look I picked up my pace very much so he was wondering if I heard him yelling at me...If anyone knows Tim, can you answer that question for him? Did I hear him? Uh yeah. But the fact that I can't pick it up much means I didn't leave anything on the first 3 miles if you know what I mean. I was at maximum effort here people.

So Tim said "I'm so proud of you. Get you on a flat course that's not cross country and I can get you in mid 23's easy...maybe high 22s."

Let's just take this one step at a time shall we? That run hurt.

I'm a dork

2009-09-24T19:32:00.000-04:00

Okay so apparently when I changed my photo it somehow (obviously user error) changed my signature name to the name of the photo...all should be better.

Thank you Tim for understanding what all these lovely ladies were talking about. I was clueless.

I'm not sure

2009-09-23T19:06:00.003-04:00

1. what to think of track workouts. All 3 have been completely different. Last night we had 3 x (4x400) with 100 jog between the 400s. As I've yet to find anyone else there who will run with me I did the workout alone. My goal was to hit the 400s at 2 min...putting me at 8 min pace. Tim says that's a good goal for me for a 5k time right now. So that's what I tried.

After last week's mess, I was a little worried. my first set was 1:50, 1:54, 1:55, 1:54. Whoa...cool, can I keep that pace up? Second set was 1:55, 1:55, 1:57, 1:54. Uh, oh...seriously come on Angela you can do this one more time, right? Last set 1:54, 1:55, 1:54, 1:49. Well color me stupid, I did it. I freakin did it faster than I wanted to. Take that 8 min pace, I kicked your butt with 7:40, how do you like that? I got a total of 5.25 in and actually did it. I told Tim that I had to walk some of the 100s and asked if that was "ok" and he said it didn't make a difference in my legs only my breathing. So I guess I need to work on my breathing at faster paces.

So seriously, maybe I just do better at shorter intervals on the track. Probably means my endurance is not so good at higher speeds...but I can work on that.

2. The name change a couple of you mentioned? If you mean the title of my blog, I changed that months ago. Not sure. Hmm. Has that evil goblin moved from my treadmill to my computer?

3. After a month of working full time, I'm not sure I like it. I miss terribly being at home with my boys. I don't like feeling rushed in the evenings to get home and get dinner done so I can be with them before bed. And in the morning I only get the groggy headed boys that can barely recognize that they are out of bed before mommy drops them off. I'm sure this will get easier, it's only been a month. Being a grown up sucks.

Better late than never

2009-09-21T19:25:00.007-04:00

Pictures from our trip to the zoo with Grandma, Nina and cousin Madison.

Ryan at the seal exhibit.

Brayden startled by the seal.

Ryan, Brayden and cousin Madison.

Ryan looking at the big kitty.

Ryan in the bee hive.

Brayden on the playground in the middle of the zoo.

running, water and too many kids

2009-09-19T14:15:00.005-04:00

So I got a long run in this morning...well long for me (like 75 minutes) although after reading some of the other blogs out there with everyone training IM distance it felt trivial. But anyhow, it was a good run.

Since we've moved, the runs are on long, rolling hills in the country. So nice. I passed 3 or 4 horse farms, tons of cyclists and very few cars. I got "greeted" by 2 dogs twice, as I was running out and back but fortunately they stopped running after me once they realized I wasn't stopping at their drive way. But I have to say the best thing about this run was just being able to "be". I kept thinking about things from this week that made me happy and just couldn't help but smile during the run and it made things go by so quickly.

1. back to Tuesday night's track session from hell. I think I was not focused at all...so maybe that's why I couldn't hold a pace to save my life. The reason for my lack of focus, a little boy playing in the sprinklers that were watering the field inside the track. He was waiting for his dad to finish the track work out. At the start of my second mile I just head this loud "thud thud splish ssssssppppt." So I looked over and this kid had gotten about 6 inches away from one of the sprinklers and squatted his butt in front of the stream of water. It was so funny. He kept jumping around as it would turn trying to keep his butt in the water. He was soaked through. It just made me want to forget the running and go play. I kept thinking about when I was young and we had the "fan like" sprinklers that looked like an arch of water. We'd play games to see who could make it from point A to point B before the water hit them.

2. Thursday night as I sat on the trainer in the garage at 6:30 to start my bike session, the family across the street (with 9 kids) came into the cul-de-sac to play baseball. They do this frequently. They didn't have enough this night...only 3 per side. the other 3 were riding skate boards. So I heard one of them yell "Ghost man on third". Oh man! I remember that more vividly than the sprinkler playing. The youngest little girl was wearing a hot pink sun dress with fuchsia, light pink and yellow flower prints, no shoes, and her bright blond hair was a tangled mess. It was like staring in a mirror of a younger me. To swing the bat for her took an act of God, she was only 4 or 5 at most. But she could run like the dickens. They were playing with a tennis ball and had to throw it at the runners and hit them to get them out. I wanted to go out there and call "I'll be the all time pitcher" Loved watching them.

3. Still on Thursday night, one of the oldest boys got out this little motorcycle. It looked like it was built for a 3 year old it was so small. He started riding it up and down the road. One of the sister's skate boarding wanted to ride, so she climbed on back. Just then I heard their mom yell "NO! Get off of the back of that, there's not room for two. You going to get hurt." This mother is all of 5ft.2 and probably no more than 110 pounds soaking wet. Hard to believe 9 kids came out of that body. I digress. So the daughter gets off, the mother comes over and makes the brother get off, takes the helmet and then proceeds to put the helmet on and take the motorcycle for a ride herself! Nice I thought. Look at her enjoying it and having fun with her kids. She was laughing and running with them....being a kid herself.

So all these things were going through my mind again on my "long" run this morning. What I wouldn't give to be a child again. No worries, no fears, no boundaries, no expectations, no guilt, no shame only fun, food, friends, skate boards, ghost men on third and water in your butt.

What's in a run?

2009-09-17T18:21:00.004-04:00

Pain:
Last Saturday was a 10k, which was preceded by 4 days of intestinal misfortune. It was painful and I went much slower than I wanted to but I finished with mild stomach cramps and only vomiting up stomach acid once at mile 5.

Joy:
Monday was a recovery run. Peaceful, back to normal intestinal function and the correct training pace.

Disappointment:
Tuesday was a track workout. Last time I did this was 2 weeks ago and it went well then. That work out was 10 x 800s. I only did 4.5 of them since I had already run that day. I was surprised at how easy it was. Then this past Tuesday I got a dose of reality. The workout was 5 x 1 mile. I did the first mile at just under 8 min. pace. Uh then I fell apart. It's not that every mile got slower, it was every LAP got slower. I had to change the workout to a mix of 800s and 1200s until I got 5 miles in. It was horrible. Was I just lucky 2 weeks ago, am I just that bad with my endurance/speed or are track workouts really that hard?

Fun:
Today I ran for the sake of running. No watch to keep up with my splits. No "must push it" attitude. I slowed when I felt the need, I picked it up and dug deep when I got the motivation. I didn't think of anything other than the cold humid air combined with the drizzling rain hitting my face. Sure I probably didn't go very fast, but I had fun for the first run in a long time. And I dislike running the most of the 3 disciplines so that's saying a lot.

Accomplishment:
Maybe this Saturday's long run will bring good accomplishments for my time and distance again. If it weren't for needing to make sure I get a set amount of time in I would consider not wearing my watch then either. It was nice not being tied to that evil contraption.

By popular demand...

2009-09-16T19:53:00.002-04:00

here's another one:

Getting ready for bed tonight...
"Arms up buddy...shirt off. Go pee pee please."
"Um okay mom. Watch this! It's working" (translation - The pee is flowing into the potty)
"Good job. Now let's wash your hands and brush your teeth."
"Um Okie dokie smokie."

I keep waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. As I peer around the corner he's standing on the foot stool admiring his cute little face in the mirror. Making faces at himself, rubbing his chest.

"Um, mommy...these are my nipples. Why do I have little nipples?"
"because you are little."
"No, I'm a big boy."
"you are a big boy, but you are still growing and as you grow even bigger, so will your nipples."
"Um, ok. "

He leans his head downward toward his chest and whispers something while rubbing his nipples some more.

"ryan are you ready for bed now?"
"um yeah mom. My nipples are ready for bed too. I told them they will be big boy nipples some day."

Staying Hydrated

2009-09-09T21:16:00.002-04:00

This past weekend, Ryan saw the dead worms on the drive way:

"Mommy, you see those worms."
"yeah buddy"
"Mommy, I want to play with those worms"
"I don't think they can play."
"What's wrong with those worms, mommy?"
"Buddy they are just a little dry. They need water to be able to move and crawl back to the dirt."
"oh. Mommy, I know. Let's go get them a swimming pool. Then they can swim and crawl back to the dirt."
"That's a good idea Ryan but I think they're a little to dehydrated at this point."
"Yeah, you're right mom. Dehydrated."

If it were only as simple as getting them a pool, I could keep him from going through this conversation every time we go out to the car. When it rained the other day he told me "It's raining and the worms can get wet now mommy, let's go play with them."

I think I just need to go sweep them into the grass.

When I'm alone

2009-09-07T21:19:00.004-04:00

and left to my own devices, I can really do some pretty ridiculous things.

Today for example, I successfully mowed the lawn and did yard work at 9:30 am with both boys outside and the two dogs. (more on that in a minute). It was actually very calm and under control surprisingly enough. Ryan and Brayden played on the swing set and in the club house while I was in the back yard mowing. Then when I had to move to the front yard, Ryan went inside and got both bubble mowers and gave one to Brayden and said "Come on baby, we got to help mommy get this grass mowed." So they followed behind me as I mowed...and behind them Bowden and Bella...we had a Gautreau mow train going.

They even helped me pull weeds and sweep up. Although their weed pulling involved some pansies and their sweeping more so just moved the dirt all over the place instead of getting it in one spot, but whatever; they were helping and being very good.

Then we had lunch and quiet time. Their quiet time was my recovery brick session. Then I decided that I still had time while they were sleeping to try and re-arrange all the furniture downstairs just to see what the different sofa sets would look like in different rooms of the house. Uh, when two 6ft.5, 250 pound men have to move the stuff in...how the heck did I think I was going to rearrange it on my own. Simple, I'm super woman. Or so I think sometimes. Needless to say I moved 2 sofas, called Tim to say "Please tell me to stop" and he did, so I did. I put the sofas back then got the kids up.

Next was a little play time which mostly consisted of Ryan and Brayden "racing like mommy", then an early dinner. I put FSU jerseys on both boys, threw my FSU shirt on and headed to Chik-fil-A. They were doing a Labor day special where you wear your teams shirt and you get a free sandwich. So we played at the indoor place because it was raining and ate free chicken.

Fast forward to after the boys are asleep and what am I doing? Rearranging/cleaning the garage, cleaning the back porch and laundry. What is wrong with me. I need to go to bed already.

Before I forget. Bella is our new dog. After 3.5 years of hints, whispers, nagging and innuendos, Tim finally convinced me that we needed another dog for Bowden. So last Monday we took Ryan to the Wake County Animal Shelter and got Bella. She's a 4 year old lab mix. Other than having a few too many pounds on her, she's a great dog and the transition has been pretty seamless. She gets along great with the boys and Bowden and is very lovable. She absolutely loves to play fetch and constantly walks around with either a tennis ball or bone in her mouth, with her tongue hanging out of the other side.